Baby Makes Three.....And Now Four!

Cal is One Month Old!

2012-02-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

Cal, you have been in our lives for a month already? Crazy how time flies. I am pretty sure that I state that in every age post.

I have to admit, this time around, I am actually ENJOYING the newborn stage. With your brother, I was so depressed and I don't even remember the first 6 months of his life until I went on medication. Doesn't that sound awful? With you, I remember everything. I haven't cried in sadness or frustration once! Maybe it's because you are a slightly easier baby?

Some things that you are up to:

* You quickly moved out of newborn sized clothing by about 3 weeks. Your nickname is chunky monkey because you have the chubbiest, stockiest legs and belly. So darn cute! Similarly, you are already in size 1 diapers (if you were to go by the disposable sizing).

* You LOVE to eat. Seriously, I am not used to this! You love your milk and will take 2-3 ounces every 2 hours or less. It's been hard keeping up with all your eating! And boy, don't take away your bottle. You get MAD! So forget about burping in the middle of a feed. You just scream until the bottle is placed back in your mouth.

* Sleep is pretty good. You go down to bed around 8-8:30 in your Rock N Play next to Mom and Dad's bed. I try to go to bed at the same time so I can get up to feed and change you in the middle of the night. You usually wake up at 11:30, 3:00 and 5ish. By 5:00, you have had enough of your bed and want to come to bed with Mom and Dad. It's the only way to calm you down. I remember the second night home from the hospital you slept for 5.5 hours at a stretch and almost died. Hopefully you will do that again soon!

* I noticed that you had the classic signs of reflux (just like your brother) a week or so ago. So now you are on baby Zantac and it seems to be helping a LOT. Thank goodness we caught it so early.

* You love your Mommy. I am usually the only one who can calm you down if you are crying. We spend a lot of time bouncing and wearing the Moby. You love being balled up next to Mommy's chest and just snuggling. As a matter of fact, for about a week or two, the only way you would sleep was next to Mom and balled up. Thank goodness I worked hard to get you to sleep in your bed. It's hard sleeping sitting up!

* The noises you make are just precious. Daddy and I say you "billy goat" because when you stretch or wake up, you make what sounds like a billy goat baa'ing. It is so cute.

* You smile a lot in your sleep. I love watching the faces that you make. A couple of times you have smiled at Mom when you have been awake but I am pretty sure it's gas. I am not convinced when Nana says you are an early smiler.

* I am convinced you are going to look like your Daddy. People say you look like Jack. I see similarities but definitely more differences. Your eyes are just like Daddy's and Papa's when they were babies. It will be fun to see who you look like as you get older.

* We try and do play-time on your play mat or with toys but honestly, you are more content just being held and looking around. You love looking at lights or your brother. You will crane your neck to stare at a light. And you love the sound of Papa's voice. A couple of times if he is speaking, you will turn your head to look.

* Your head control is amazing. You have been able to hold it up pretty much from birth. This is another trait you share with your brother. I have strong boys!

I can't wait to see what this next month brings Cal. I am sad that I have to go back to work after only 8 weeks. I plan to enjoy every sleep-deprived, special second with you.

Love you Monkey!

Look at those chunky legs and belly! And how cute is a baby in a cloth diaper?

And looking out the window. See? You crane your neck to look at lights.

Save the Tatas

2012-02-10T16:30:00.000-08:00

I am going to sandwich this post between Cal's 1 month post so it doesn't get lost in the fray.

On Monday, I noticed that my left breast was very tender and swollen. Not engorged swollen but pain swollen. It was so painful that I wasn't even able to pick up Cal and burp him without wincing in pain. And pumping? Pure hell. The pain continued through the day but I chalked it up to being tired and maybe a clogged duct even though I couldn't feel one.

On Wednesday, the pain was still there but it would switch sides which makes absolutely no sense. Again, I thought it was clogged ducts. However, when I discovered that Cal had a yeast rash on his bottom, I started to wonder. Hmmmm. I treated the yeast with Monistat and had to switch him to disposable diapers because I suspected that the cloth were holding the moisture in causing the yeast.

Wednesday night, his mouth was very very white. Moreso than normal. He typically has a thin white milk layer on his tongue but this was thick and cheese-like. A lightbulb went off in my head and I went to the interwebs to look up the symptoms of thrush.

He had all the symptoms and I had the symptoms as well. Awesome!

Yesterday was spent calling doctors, getting prescriptions refilled and general craziness. Cal is being treated with the Monistat still and something called Gentian Violet which is literally a violet antifungal that you paint in his mouth. If it wasn't so pathetic, my technicolor baby would be comical. When Jason and I applied it last night (while he was swaddled and PISSED mind you) he gagged and made the most sad face. Poor little guy. And because it was literally hurting him to eat, he also got a dose of infant Tylenol.

I got an Rx for Diflucan and some fancy-schmancy nipple cream that my insurance won't cover.

Last night, I started feeling bad. Headaches, fatigue and general malaise. I thought it was from the stress of the day and shopping with my mother-in-law for a baby shower gift (not a fun task I tell ya) so I went to bed. I woke up with Cal to feed and was sweating. This is normal for me. I threw the blanket off and went back to sleep after he was settled.

4:30 came around and I was FREEZING. Teeth chattering freezing even though I had flannel sheets, a comforter and a down blanket over me. And the house is kept at 68 degrees.

When I woke up this morning, I felt run over by a train. Flu like symptoms. Very painful and hot breasts, headache, dizzy, stiff neck, general fog and body aches, and a temperature of 101.

Guess what folks? Did you know that you can get thrush and mastitis at the same time? Yeppers. That is what I have. After a trip to the doctor where he showed me the streaky red spots on my breasts, I came home and literally have not moved off the couch except to pee and eat. I am now on ANOTHER prescription.

So, besides the beastie yeasties, I have a bacterial infection in my boobs. Awesome, I tell you.

Course of action: Meds, lots of sleep (haha, that's impossible with a 2 year old and a 1 month old), lots of water, hot packs on the tatas, and pump pump pump. Get the milk moving to get the infection out. Fun times I tell you.

Signed,
I feel like crap and want to take another nap

Jack is TWO!

2012-02-06T14:40:00.000-08:00

Jack's official birthday is the 2nd of February but I wanted to wait until today to post since he had his party on Saturday and his 2 year Well Child exam today.

Buddy, you amaze us. You are getting so.....BIG! Your language is exploding. Daddy and I call you The Parrot because you repeat everything we say. Even if you can't pronounce it perfectly, you still try so hard. One day I said Darjeeling (referring to the tea) and you repeated it back to me. Not only do you say one word, you are up to sentences. Your favorite phrase right now? "DD Buzz". Referring to a DVD of Buzz (Lightyear from Toy Story). You are obsessed.

Today you had your doctor's appointment and you are 28 pounds (75th percentile) and 36ish inches tall (75th percentile). You are perfectly proportioned as the doctor said.

You are not sure what to make of your brother. You like helping but we can see the jealousy coming out. Of course, that is expected so Daddy and I try and do special things with just you. Going to OMSI, or even just to the store so you can have one-on-one time with one of us. Or both of us.

What are your favorite things lately? DD Buzz (of course) and Elmo. You got a peek at your cake on Saturday and immediately "ELMO CAKE!!!!!" came out of your mouth. Other things you love? Trucks, books and your new Mr. Potato Head (thank you Auntie Rebecca). When you opened it, you said "BUZZ!" because you recognized him from the movie.

You are learning boundaries these days. It takes us more than one time of telling you "no" or trying to redirect you before you will listen. I am pretty sure that is typical for a 2 year old. It takes an act of God to get you to stop torturing the poor cats. You want to love them I am sure, but they usually don't appreciate you trying to roll on them.

You are busting out of your clothes. I bought you a bunch of 24 month outfits for Christmas but it's already time for 2T and even your size 4 diapers are too tight. It's on to size 5 for you!

Speaking of diapers, you are mildly afraid of your potty seat. It sits right on the toilet and when Daddy or I ask if you need to go pee pee on the potty, you yell out "NO!". However, you did go on the potty the other day and we praised you over and over for being a big boy. It's funny because you stand up in the tub to go pee pee and are pretty proud of yourself for this.

Here are some pictures from your birthday party on Saturday. It was a low-key affair with just us and Nana and Papa.

Elmo cake

You loved the red frosting. I don't think you ate anything other than the actual frosting!

When we sang Happy Birthday to you, it was so cute. You put your head down on your highchair almost like you were embarrassed. However, being the little ham that you are, you did smile when all the attention was on you.

Opening presents with help from Mom

And my favorite picture of the day because you just look so happy. Snack time!

I can't wait to see what these next few months bring us. I am sure you will continue to amaze us with your language and surprise us with your personality. You are such a joy Jack. Mommy and Daddy love you!

Picture Post

2012-02-05T12:17:00.000-08:00

Since I don't have time for much else, enjoy this very short post with pictures.

Cross Eyed Baby (still cute though)

Jack the little chef (apron and hat courtesy of Auntie Carrie)

Sleepy boy. This is his favorite place to sleep. It makes for a long night.

The "stink" face

I intend to do a post updating about Cal and his grumpy issues. Maybe later this week. When I can find the time.

Mish Mash

2012-01-30T14:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, where has the time gone? Oh yeah, I know. Taking care of two under two. It's no joke people. It is hard work. I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms and people who do this alone. Thank goodness I have Jason to help otherwise I would be crazy.

* Cal is officially off the boob. He got worse and worse with eating/latching so I threw in the towel and am exclusively pumping. And you know what? I am perfectly okay with it. I never thought I would be so calm about the whole process but if this is what works for us, so be it. I hope to continue pumping for as long as I can.

* Cal had his 2 week appointment and he is now officially nicknamed "Chunky Monkey". He left the hospital at 7 pounds 7 ounces, gained 4 ounces by the next day and by two weeks, had surpassed his birthweight of 8 pounds 4 ounces. As of his 2 week appointment, he weighed 8 pounds 9.5 ounces. So my boob juice is doing its job.

* This child LOVES to eat. Unlike his brother. Jack would take 1/2 an ounce every 30 minutes (due to his reflux). We were constantly fighting with feeding him and battling spit up. This guy? He eats 2 ounce bottles every 2 hours like clockwork. He still seems hungry at certain times though so we are bumping him up to 2.25 ounces.

* I put a cloth diaper on him for the first time yesterday just to see how the fit was. I figure that he was close to 9 pounds and the diapers say 7-35 pounds so why not try? I had read on a lot of forums that newborns won't even come close to fitting one sized diapers until 12 pounds so not to bother. Welp, in our case, that was wrong. I put a Charlie Banana diaper with a small insert on him (fit to the smallest setting - XS) and it fit fine! We had no issues with leaks or anything. Now I am really looking forward to using up the disposables we got as gifts so I can exclusively put him in cloth.

* Um folks, as of Thursday, I will have a 2 YEAR OLD! Holy crap. Where on earth did my baby go? He is doing so many adult things these days that it boggles my mind. A couple of Fridays ago (Cal was a little over a week old) we took Jack to OMSI for a special day. Nana watched Cal so we could have one on one time with Jack. I watched as my baby sat in a booster seat and ate a sandwich at the table for lunch. Good grief. He just looked so.........adult. I took plenty of pictures with my phone.

* Speaking of phones. I got a new cell phone as my birthday gift from Jason. Welcome to the world of Smart phones! I am having a blast browsing the internet while doing mundane tasks. Now I don't have to haul out my laptop unless I want to post on my blog. I can read others' but just can't type fast enough to post on my own.

* I am using the Moby wrap a lot with this baby. I had one with Jack but since I was dumb about tying it correctly I hated it. I now am officially hooked. I use it to calm my fussy man that doesn't seem to want to sleep anywhere other than Mommy's chest. I wear him while he naps and do chores around the house. I have vaccuumed, done dishes, given Jack a bath, cooked dinner, and even gone to the bathroom wearing this thing. I heart it. I am even wearing it right now. It's just so much easier.

* Our little parrot (Jack) is saying so many things. The child is speaking in full on sentences. Albeit, only two or three words but still! Sentences! He loves to name colors. His favorite thing is to say "Daddy car black. Momma car brown. Papa car red. Nana car blue". As you can see, he is learning colors and already he has mastered blue, red, yellow and green. He can most of the time get black, grey, white and brown. Grey comes out "gay" and hopefully random strangers don't side eye us for that.

* We are doing a very low-key party for Jack on Saturday. We are having it over at my in-laws house and it's just going to be us and them. We were going to have pizza but since my in-laws might be going out to dinner we decided just cake and ice cream and presents. I didn't even buy very much for him since Christmas was so plentiful.

* Does anyone else find it hard to take pictures of their kids once a new one comes into the picture? Seriously, I find it so hard to remember to pick up my camera (I got a very fancy new one for Christmas) when I am busy chasing toddlers, picking up toys so they don't become death traps and changing poopy diapers. I really need to get better about that.

* I have survived being at home alone a couple of times. Jason has gone out with the boys a couple of times since Cal was born and guess what? I didn't melt! I survived. Now, if I had to do it for hours and hours on end, I might have permanently grey hair.

* I have been cooking a lot lately. Due to our new budget with me at 60% of my pay (I am on short term disability for my maternity leave) and Jason bringing in no money, I have been cooking almost every night. The nights I don't cook are leftover nights. Last night was barbeque beef in the crockpot and tonight is spaghetti pie. I am finding quick, easy, and cheap meals to make and so far, it's working out. Secretly, it gives me some time away from dealing with temper tantrums every three seconds.

That is about it on the homefront. And since I suck at updating my blog, here are some pictures of my little men.

Hello Again Boobs

2012-01-17T11:56:00.000-08:00

You knew there would be a breastfeeding post coming soon didn't you? I endlessly blogged about boobs and breastfeeding and all of Jack's issues so why not keep up the theme?

Don't get me wrong, Cal is doing a good job. It's just that he could be doing better.

In the hospital, he was nursing great! Every 2 to 3 hours and 45 minutes or so at a time. Then on Thursday evening when my milk came in, he went on strike. My nipples (sorry folks) changed shaped and he didn't recognize them. He would latch on for a second and then off. Eventually he would get it, but that was after bribes of a drop of sugar water or some drops of breastmilk.

I had a lactatation consultant visit me (per my request) and she confirmed that Jack was nursing great. In the course of about 20 minutes, he ate 2 ounces. However, they wanted me to pump just in case he wouldn't latch. That way he could have a top off of breastmilk. God, I hate pumping. I was soooo hoping to avoid it this time around. Oh well, you do what you have to do. Just as an FYI, I have super boobs. My milk started coming in on day 3 postpartum and I pumped 2 ounces. The nurses kept ooohing and aaahing at me.

On Friday before we were discharged, because he wasn't latching great, the LC suggested we start topping him with a finger feed. If you don't know what that is, it's a syringe hooked to a tiny tube that gets taped to your index finger. You place the index finger in babe's mouth and it teaches them how to suck. So we started doing that on Friday when we got home from the hospital.

By the time we went home, Cal was down about 10% of his birthweight. This also happened with Jack and I freaked. This time? I knew my baby wasn't starving and that he would be fed and I wasn't worried.

Friday we tried latching him which was pretty unsuccessful most of the time. So we had to resort to finger feeding most of the day. Which by the way is a pain in the ass. Our main goal, per the LC's, was to fatten him back up.

Saturday at the pediatrician's office he was up 3 ounces from the day before. Score! I knew we were doing something right. The pediatrician did suggest that since my stupid nipples had changed shape and that I was engorged maybe a nipple shield was in order. I hate using a nipple shield, but again, whatever will get the boy to eat.

The rest of the weekend I would latch the babe with the shield for a few and then we would top him off with the finger feed. We eventually started moving to bottles rather than the dumb syringe because as previously mentioned, it's a pain. I would also pump and then the process would repeat itself.

Yesterday, at the lactation clinic, Jack had gained another 4 ounces! So now that he is gaining weight and not so sleepy, we are back to latching with the shield most of the time. He is doing a pretty good job at that. It's not the easiest thing for him since the boy wants his food NOW! With breastfeeding, he needs to work at it and he doesn't particularly care to do so.

The whole point of this post? To state that again, I am having slight issues. Nothing that can't be worked around. This time around, I am going to ENJOY feeding my baby and not freak out. I am going to NOT stress and worry everytime a feed doesn't go the way I had hoped.

It IS easier this time around. I am less worried. I think it's that first time mom thing. You have no idea what you are doing. Second time? Piece of cake. Well, respectively speaking. It's not exactly easy to feed a kiddo when you are chasing another kiddo around the house trying to wipe his face.

Hello again boobs. Let's make sure to work this time k? Thanks.

Cal's Birth Story

2012-01-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning started out early. We had to be at the hospital for my routine c-section at 5:30 with surgery at 7:30. After very little sleep the night before (nerves anyone?) I was up at 4:00, showered, shaved and finished that last minute packing.

We got checked in at the Family Maternity Center and were brought back to a room immediately. Our nurse came in and had me change into a gown, took my blood pressure and my temperature and put the fetal heart monitor bands on my belly. All pretty routine things. I did have a slight fever because Jack Jack gave me his cold. Not enough of a fever to delay the surgery though!

Jason was the designated picture taker of the day since I obviously had other things to be concerned about. He got some shots of me in my lovely hospital gown, filling out paperwork and other boring things. I was more looking forward to baby pictures, duh!

The anesthesiologist came to my room fairly early so we could talk about complications, allergies, etc. I am so glad I told her my entire history of anesthesia and its complications because I had a completely different experience this time. More to come on that later. With Jack, as soon as my epidural was placed, my blood pressure tanked. I believe it was around 70/40. It was enough to make all the monitors and bells go off. After the blood pressure scare, I got severely nauseous. I remember being so out of it that the delivery of my baby was a blur. I don't even remember the next 24 hours.

After speaking with anesthesia, we decided it was best to do a patch behind my ear, similar to those prone to motion sickness would wear. Speaking with the anesthesiologist took a lot of time which is fine by me. It made the time go much faster and it kept my mind off the worries that I had. She answered all my questions about how the line is placed, when it would need to be taken out, etc. Come to find out, a spinal for a repeat c-section is different than an epidural. The needle is smaller and there is no line that stays in. It's a shot of numbing medicine in your spinal column and that's it. The medication wears off in about 3 hours although you would still have the tingly feeling in your legs.

My nurse placed my IV line but it took some time. My veins have this pesky condition where they blow out as soon as the IV is placed. In the end, the anesthesiologist had to do it. When that was in, I was given a shot of antibiotics since I tested Strep B positive. I was also pushed fluids to help curb the nausea that I was worried about.

Lynn, my mother-in-law arrived around 6:45. She had dropped Jack off at daycare and came immediately to the hospital. It was nice having the extra support.

We visited and chatted and filled out paperwork until the time came. I was able to walk myself to surgery without passing out or shaking uncontrollably from nerves. Jason waited outside so my spinal could be done and the draping set up.

I remember the room being so cold and climbing up on the table and thinking I wouldn't fit. The compression booties were put on my legs at that point and I sat criss-crossed so the spinal could be done. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all. The numbing shot worked so well and the only thing I felt was the warm sensation going into my butt. When I was substantially drugged, I was laid down. I was absolutely freaked at this point because I was expecting the alarms to go off because of my blood pressure or I was worried that I would throw up. I was shaking a bit from the nerves, but I took deep breaths and prayed to calm down. That was all it took for my mind to go calm.

Believe it or not, I didn't have any issues with the anesthesia! There was one point while I was being draped that I said "Uh oh" and the anesthesiologist came over with a basin for me to use. I coughed (have you ever tried coughing when you are numb?) and I did spit up a little but I was instantly better.

Jason was brought back and the surgery started. I could feel the pressure and tugging but no pain or any temperature sensations. Jason held my hand the whole time and as soon as Cal's head came out, my doctor said "The head is out". He pulled the rest of Cal out and said "Rachel, this looks like a big baby". Cal immediately started screaming. He was NOT happy to be ripped out of his warm environment.

I got to see him being carried over to the isolette and that was my favorite moment of the day. I never got to see Jack when he was fresh born. I had my eyes closed and I was so sick that I didn't get to have that special moment. When Cal was being carried over, I said to Jason "Oh my gosh, he has dark hair!".

The nurses and respiratory therapist were cleaning Cal up, measuring him and getting him in a diaper. Before the diaper went on, the RT said "Don't pee on me buddy". He really shouldn't have said anything because right then Cal let off a stream. It was pretty funny. I got to see everything they were doing to him which was so great! He was crying the whole time but I was so proud and happy to have a healthy baby that the crying was music to my ears.

I got stitched all up and then rolled onto the hospital bed. As soon as I was in place, they brought the baby over to me so I could hold him on the way back to our room. I finally got to see his handsome face and see who he looked like.

I closed my eyes on the ride back to the room so I wouldn't get sea-sick so to speak. When back in the room, I laid in bed while the nurse checked over Cal and weighed him. He cried quite a bit but that is completely normal. After all, he had just been cut out of me and was probably hungry and cold and the light was so bright!

After a few minutes, Cal was showing hunger signs so the nurse helped me latch him on. I was glad to do so because I really wanted to establish a good breastfeeding routine this time around. It took a bit but we got Cal latched. He still doesn't really open his mouth super wide but he's eating so I will assume his latch is normal for him. He ate for a while and then rested. I made sure and mark down on the feeding chart when he ate so I could make sure and nurse every 2-3 hours.

All in all, my repeat c-section was a success! My overall experience has been completely opposite from my first time around. I got sick, I was having severe hormone crashes, didn't sleep, didn't take advantage of the help that was offered to me and got so frustrated with how I felt afterwards.

I will do a post about my recovery later but let's just say it's been much better this time as well.

Welcome Calvin!

2012-01-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning at 7:51 Calvin Wyatt was born. He weighs 8 pounds 4 ounces and is 20.5 inches long.

I will post a birth story soon but for now, here's a picture:

Last Day Pregnant

2012-01-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

Welp, it's come to an end. Today is officially my last day as a pregnant woman. Tomorrow at 7:30am, Cal will be on his way out and I will no longer have this enormous belly in front of me.

Today was spent on a cleaning frenzy. Jason and I sent Jack to daycare this morning to keep up his routine and I had a long list of things to complete. Laundry, take out the trash, change the beds, etc. I wanted to get everything clean so I didn't have to worry about a thing once we got home from the hospital. By 1:00 I had completed all the things on my list and then some. Jason and I both decided to lay down and take a nap. I figure it's probably the last time we will have this opportunity so take advantage. Amazingly enough, I actually slept.

I pick up Jack in 45 minutes and I can't help but be emotional. Tonight he is spending the night at Nana's and I will be childless. It's the last night for him as an only child. Am I doing a disservice to him by bringing another baby into the world and taking a lot of the attention from him?

Last night, I got teary-eyed as I was putting him to bed. I smelled his sweet hair as I was reading him bedtime stories. I wouldn't be doing this routine for a while. Not only because I will be in the hospital but I won't be able to lift him for a little while after I give birth.

Everything yesterday was a "last". Last time feeding him dinner for a while. Last time snuggling and reading books while he was warm in his footie pajamas. Last time kissing him before bed. Last time sleeping in and nestling together at 5am.

I will try and keep my mind occupied tonight. My doctor approved me to take some other the counter sleeping pills tonight. I will be taking them around 7:00 to ensure that I am very drowsy and actually get to sleep. I need to get up at 4am to be out the door at 5:15. I plan on shaving, doing my hair nice and actually putting on some makeup so I feel a little more put together when I give birth. I look back on my photos the last time and cringe. Even if I cry off all my makeup, at least I will have made the effort! I know it sounds like a ridiculous routine but hey, it's what will get me through the morning.

A bummer? I have to fast after midnight. No water and nothing to eat. That means I won't be able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee! Eeek! No worries. As soon as I am able, I plan on making Jason run to Starbucks across the street and get me a cup.

Jason and Lynn will be with me all day tomorrow. Although Lynn needs to leave at 3:30 to pick up Jack, I will have a good support system at the hospital with me.

I will update my blog after Cal is born but I am not sure when. Obviously I will need to recover from anesthesia for a while. It might be a couple hours or even a whole day. It really depends on how I feel. And more importantly, I will be calling all the immediate family members first. They deserve phone calls before the rest of the internet world is updated.

Wish me luck! Calvin will be here before I know it!

38 / 23

2012-01-03T15:13:00.000-08:00

Today marks my 38th week of pregnancy. I can't believe that at this very time next Tuesday, little Cal will be in my arms.

I have been nesting big time. I managed to get the entire house cleaned and all the Christmas decorations put away on Friday when I had a day off of work and my mother-in-law took Jack. If this baby were to come today, we would be ready.

Jack turned 23 months old yesterday. For those of you that are poor in math, that is one month shy of 2 years old! Wowza. I feel guilty that I don't have anything planned for his 2nd birthday. We are a pretty simple family though so cake, ice cream and presents over at my in-laws will probably consist of his "party". We didn't do a huge shindig for his 1st so no huge shindig for his 2nd either.

Just in this last month, Jack's language has EXPLODED. He now repeats everything which is funny and cute, but dangerous at the same time. I keep reminding Jason not to say curse words around him. Lord knows I don't want our little parrot saying "shit".

He is starting to form sentences. His first official sentence was "Uh oh, made mess". I about died from the cuteness. He said it right after eating dinner and I was cleaning him up. Before the official sentence, he was stringing two words together just fine. "Bad kitty" or "Hi Mama" or "Papa truck" were some of his famous ones. Now since "Uh oh, made mess" he has also said "Yay! Did it!". He says that one often. He gets really proud of himself (as he should be) when he completes a task.

In the past month, he has been huge into puzzles. Before now, it was just a matter of throwing the pieces around. He got a chunky dinosaur puzzle for Christmas and the very first time he tried it, he put every single one of the pieces in correctly.

Even though he is still incredibly active, he is getting better about actually sitting and playing with toys instead of just running around the house being Captain Destructo. On Christmas and New Years Day, we were at family gatherings and Jack sat and played happily with other kids. He especially likes playing with the bigger kids (aged 5 and up).

His sleep has gotten a lot better. Jason and I changed his bed time slightly. Since Jason stays at home now, it's in everyone's best interest that Jack not get up at 5:00am. So night night was moved to between 8 and 8:30 and now he will sleep until 6:30 or even later! He still fusses or wakes up once a night or so (sometimes not at all) but usually a simple paci re-insertion or a pat on the back and he's back to sleep.

Guess what came yesterday? Two of Jack's 2 year molars! He has been cranky and drooly for the past couple of weeks and his upper molar gums were swollen. I was feeling around in his mouth yesterday and felt the little sharp stubs and was shocked! No wonder he was so cranky. Now it's just a matter of getting those bottom ones through.

My little boy is getting so big. It's a lot of fun to see what new and exciting thing he is doing every day. My only guilty feeling is knowing that he soon won't get as much one on one time with me as he had been. I hope that I can give him all the love and attention he needs.

Pregnancy Compare

2011-12-29T20:39:00.000-08:00

Since I am getting down to the last few days of this pregnancy (12 days left, eeeeek!), I thought it would be interesting to list out the similarities and differences I have had with each pregnancy. The list of differences is going to be much bigger that's for sure.

Differences

* Heartburn - with Jack, my heartburn was unbearable the last month of my pregnancy. I couldn't eat anything without having to either get up in the middle of the night for Tums or to throw up stomach acid. I have had minor heartburn this time but nothing that isn't curable with some chewable antacid.

* Swelling - with Jack, my hands and feet got so swollen that I could no longer wear normal shoes. My little sister and I went to Target with a month left of my pregnancy just so I could buy "fat" shoes. While I did have to take my wedding rings off, my swelling is to a minimum and I am still able to wear normal every day shoes. My ankles get a little fat in the evenings but that's about it.

* Morning sickness - had it all the way through the pregnancy with Jack to the point I took medication. This time? Minor morning sickness in the first trimester. Not even bad enough to warrant medicine or any methods to help it.

* Stretch marks - I had none with Jack. Until after I delivered and then I got some tiny grey/white ones under my stomach. This time? I have a few near my belly button but they aren't hideous. They are just light red/pink. I blame my scratching of the buddah bellah.

* Nesting - I did absolutely NO nesting or cleaning with Jack when it was time for him to come. This time, I feel like I have to get everything done RIGHT NOW. That could be because of the holidays and being so incredibly busy, but regardless, this house is clean, all the baby laundry is washed, everything is organized. I feel accomplished. Cal could come tonight and I would feel okay with the state of our preparedness.

* Hip pain - oh God, it was bad. So bad with Jack that I would wake up in the middle of the night crying in pain. I would constantly have to sleep on the couch because it provided more cushy support than even my pregnancy pillow could. This time? It's minor and I only get it if I don't roll over enough.

* Carpal tunnel - because my swelling was so bad with Jack, I got carpal tunnel that didn't resolve itself for a few weeks after he was born. This time? None. No sign of it.

Similarities

* Movement - these boys are ACTIVE! I have videos of Jack in utero trying to do a breakout routine as I got closer to my due date. I should record a video of Cal because it would be exactly the same. It's so strong sometimes that it takes my breath away.

* Cravings - with Jack, I craved fast food in my first trimester and orange juice in my last. This time, while my cravings aren't incredibly strong, I did crave fast food (especially burgers) in my first trimester and juice in my last. The juice doesn't have to be orange. It can be apple, grape, orange or whatever is on hand.

* Pressure - while I don't remember it specifically with Jack, I know I had uterus pressure close to delivery. I have it this time too. Yowza! It feels like this little guy is going to come jumping out of me at any time. I am trying to close my legs when I sneeze just in case. Ha!

* Fatigue - with Jack, I was so amazingly tired in the first trimester. I didn't notice that this time with Cal but I am incredibly tired in the evenings. I blame the active toddler I am chasing around. I know I should get as much sleep as I can now because I won't be sleeping for the next two years anyways.

It's amazing how good I have felt this time around. I remember thinking with Jack that I was so miserable and hated being pregnant and that's because I was miserable. This time, I really have enjoyed being pregnant. It's been such a breeze that I worry I am going to have a really hard baby! I keep hoping that Cal will be just as different as my pregnancy has been. It would be awfully nice to have a baby that can breastfeed, doesn't have reflux or terrible sleeping issues, gagging issues or chronic ear infections.

I can't wait to meet him and see just how different he is from Jack and to see what is similar about them.

12 more days!

Holiday Catch Up

2011-12-29T12:20:00.000-08:00

Christmas came and went but we were so busy that I didn't have a chance to post much.

* I was off work starting the 22nd but am back today. The days off allowed Jason and I to shop, wrap, assemble and get caught up for the upcoming day of festivities.

* I am still pregnant and getting to the point where I am pretty miserable. I was feeling great up until this point but now bending down causes me to lose my breath. I have so much to do and just don't have the energy to do it. My belly is rock hard most of the day. I feel like I have to pee but yet when I go, it is just a trickle. I have less than two weeks left. I CAN DO IT.

* Jack got spoiled rotten for Christmas. We tried not to go overboard but of course, that didn't go so well. Between two "big" Santa gifts (a kitchen and a tricycle) and gifts from several family members, our house looked like Toys R Us puked in it. Thankfully we were able to offload some gifts to my in-laws. They have more room than we do and new toys over there are cool.

* We spent Christmas Eve over at Jason's Mamo's house. Jack had a good time running and playing and spending time with his Mamo and Papo (Mamo's significant other).

* We woke up at 6:30 on Christmas morning and Jack had fun playing with his new kitchen and scooting around on his bike. Jason took his time getting up but we were over at his parents around 9:45.

* The afternoon was spent over at my Aunt and Uncle's. The whole West coast family was there which was nice. It was a packed house. We exchange "stockings" with the adults and manage to haul in a bunch of fun loot. The kiddos get actual presents. Jack was so overwhelmed with gifts by the end of the day that he didn't want to open the rest of his gifts. So I helped him.

Here are a few pictures from our festivities.

Mommy and Jack over at Mamo and Cliff's.

Jack "helping" Cliff open a present.

Jack seeing his kitchen on Christmas morning.

Opening presents over at Nana and Papa's.

Jason and his enormous stocking over at my aunt and uncle's.

Jack opening yet more presents over at my aunt and uncle's. He got these trucks from my cousin and they were a favorite!

On another note, I am still getting used to my new camera (thanks Jason!) so it took me a while to figure out how to upload all these puppies.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! Now my next endeavor is to have a baby. OMG.

Food!

2011-12-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have been doing a lot of cooking and not because of the holidays. As a matter of fact, I have done very little holiday baking/cooking. We are trying to keep our eating out budget to a minimum so this requires me to cook more often. Also, with Jason home during the week, dinner is a must in our house. Before he was home I would just eat a PB&J or have a bowl of cereal for dinner. Jack would get a healthy dinner, no worries.

Here is what I have cooked lately:

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Lasagna

Beef Enchiladas (no link. I doctored a recipe I got from Betty Crocker and made it my own)

Spicy Chex Mix (the ONLY holiday baking I have done) - I double the recipe and add two tablespoons of Tabasco and about two teaspoons of cayenne. Be warned, it's HOT.

Chicken and Black Bean Burritos (very similar to the linked recipe but in place of the salsa, I used Rotel and then also added a packet of ranch seasoning and some additional spices. I shredded the chicken and we had it in burritos with a little cheese and salsa)

Spaghetti and Italian Sausages (no link. If you can't figure out how to cook sausages and heat up sauce, you might be in trouble!)

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans is what we are having tonight for dinner.

Tomorrow night will probably be leftovers since we still have some of the Chicken Burritos left as well as spaghetti and I know we won't eat a whole meatloaf tonight.

It's hard to plan so many meals during the week. I am trying to keep them simple and inexpensive. Simple so I can easily whip up something after I log off work, inexpensive for obvious reasons.

Here is my short list of meals that I want to have in my repertoire:

* Meatloaf and mashed potatoes
* Spaghetti with meatballs/sausages/meat sauce
* Baked chicken with sides
* Pork chops with sides
* Macaroni and cheese (homemade)
* Soup and sandwiches. Taco Soup is a huge hit in this house
* Red beans and rice
* Casseroles of many varieties: Tuna, hashbrown, chicken and rice bake etc.
* Breakfast for dinner
* Chicken pot pie (homemade)
* Slow cooker meals!
* Chili and cornbread
* American Chop Suey. HUGE favorite in this house.

If you can think of any other good and cheap recipes to add to this list, let me know! I would like to keep a good rotation in the works so we don't get bored.

I give my sister props because she cooks dinner every night for her hubby, toddler and herself after chasing around an active toddler. She better respond to this post because I bet she has really good ideas!

Day One

2011-12-19T12:39:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day that Jason is a stay-at-home dad. The transition has been slightly rough for him. First off, he didn't try adjusting his schedule yet. He got a whopping 2 hours of sleep last night since he wasn't able to come to bed any earlier than 4am.

I think he's going to do just fine. I know it's still early but I can hear them from my "office". They have been reading books, hanging out on the couch, eating and just being boys. Poor Jason. He's so tired that I have jumped in to help him a few times today. I showed him what an acceptable lunch consists of for Jack. I told him approximately what time Jack should go down for his morning nap. I did the dishes for him this morning during a work break while he took a shower.

Nap time was rough. He put Jack down awake which isn't something I do. Karen, his daycare provider does this with no problem. However, Jack needs to learn a new way of doing things so Jason got him drowsy and put him down in the crib awake. He cried for a few minutes but then went down for a 90 minute nap. Jason took this opportunity to nap himself.

Bedtime has been pushed back an hour. This is so Jack doesn't get up at 5am. Jason would like him to sleep until a more reasonable time, like 6:30 so an 8pm bedtime will now become the norm in our house.

This means dinner will be pushed back too. Sense a theme here? Instead of a 5pm dinner, we will aim for 6pm. No longer will we be old fuddy duddies and eat so darn early.

I will be cooking dinner most nights which is not something I am used to. I am used to giving Jack a meal and then eating a bowl of cereal or something later. However, with Jason at home, we will need to eat right? I have made a list of quick, easy and economical meals to add to my repertoire. Tonight's dinner is going to be spaghetti with Italian sausages. Quick, easy, and cheap!

This new schedule and arrangement is going to take a lot of adjustment and getting used to for all of us. I will try not to whine or be overdramatic as the changes occur.

Fluffy Mail

2011-12-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

Jason and I received a generous gift from his Mamo for Cal last week and I knew exactly what I wanted to spend the money on: DIAPERS!

I haven't purchased many cloth diapers yet because I was scared to actually pull the trigger on cloth diapers. I wasn't sure which styles would work for Cal. The cost of buying such a big quantity at one time.

But after a lot of research last week, I decided to purchase the following:

6 Charlie Bananas one-size with 12 inserts (the package I bought came with 6 small and 6 medium/large)
2 Flip diapers and 6 inserts
6 Sun Baby diapers and 6 inserts
24 pre-folds

Add this to the existing Flip and Thirsties cover I had purchased many months ago, that will give us 16 covers and 49 inserts/pre-folds.

I also purchased a wet bag for the house and two smaller wet bags for Nana's house and the diaper bag. I also purchased a sprayer (I already have a Spray Pal on hand from when the pre-order was going on).

All these items cost us under $350 total. That is for everything! I think that is a great investment. I just hope that with the variety of diapers that I purchased that some of them work for Cal. If not, I heard it's pretty easy to sell them.

Today, my first order came! The Charlie Banana pack came in the mail and I can't tell you how ridiculously excited I was to open the box and feel the diapers. I haven't used them yet (obviously), but from what I can tell, they are so incredibly soft and well made. And can I tell you how CUTE they are? Jason is scoffing at the hot pink diaper but it came in a "value" pack so I didn't have the option to trade out the pink diaper.

Who knew diapers could be so cute and exciting!

I still have some research to do on how exactly to fold these puppies. I am hoping there is a tutorial or something on each company's website. I already have done the research on what detergent to use as well as cloth diaper safe cream.

Now for the picture. Here is our cloth diaper stash so far. Nothing is washed yet. I am still expecting a ton more mail in the coming days.

Cute right?

Weekend Intended Quiche

2011-12-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

I had this recipe bookmarked to make on Sunday with leftover ham. However, after having photos taken and dealing with a cranky toddler, we ordered pizza instead.

I am not one to waste food so in a hasty decision today I decided to whip up this quiche for my lunch.

It was very easy to put together. I cheated and used pre-made pie crust but to make up for that, I shredded my own cheese. Since I hadn't frozen before baking, I put in the oven at the recommended temperature and baked for approximately 35 minutes.

The result? A beautiful golden quiche that tasted amazing. If I were to make it again, I would probably add a little bit of onion for some flavor.

I might have had two pieces.

34 Weeks

2011-12-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

Today marks the start of my 34th week. That means in 5 short weeks (or less), Cal will be here! It seems time has flown by.

I will start this post with a maternity picture. My friend Jenn over at PDXMomma took them for me and from what I have seen so far, they turned out great! I can't wait to see all the pictures.

I am carrying more torpedo style this time around. With Jack I was pretty flat and low. With Cal, I am carrying all in my belly and it's RIGHT OUT front. I look like I swallowed a watermelon.

What has been going on with me:

* I don't want to sound trite, but I feel pretty good. Of course, things could change and I could start feeling awful tomorrow. My only complaints are a very hard and heavy belly by the end of the night and some minor sleeping issues.

* With Jack I had horrible hip pain. It was so bad that no pregnancy pillow, no amount of position changes and couch sleeping could help. I would wake up in so much pain in the middle of the night that I would cry. This time? It's minor. I think it's because now my body knows what it's doing.

* I don't have heartburn. With Jack, I would have to ask myself with every morsel of food "Will this give me heartburn?". This time? It's minor. I have had it maybe twice and it was only when I ate super late. Last night I had two pieces of pizza and root beer pretty close to bedtime and I didn't have heartburn.

* This little guy seems to like wedging himself up under my ribs. His little butt is always on my left side. What feels the most odd is when he shifts positions and his little head or his arms bonk my cervix. Yowza! Talk about a suprise!

* I had an itching issue last week that required me to run into the OB's office for some labwork. My arms, legs and belly were so itchy that I actually scratched some raw spots into my skin. I had this last time with Jack too and they ran a liver and kidney panel to make sure everything was okay. I will call today and make sure the results are normal.

* I am about to finally purchase our big cloth diaper order. I plan on ordering two more Flip diapers along with inserts, 6 Charlie Banana diapers with inserts and 6 Sun Baby diapers with inserts. Add this to the two covers that we already have (pathetic, I know) and that will be about 14 covers. We can add some as time goes on but I am hoping this is enough of a stash to start out with. I will still need to buy some wet bags and a sprayer, but that should be about it!

* I need to pack my hospital bag but I don't have all the things that I need for the hospital. I am waiting for Christmas so I can use the gift cards and money that I get to buy nursing tanks, bras and a robe for the hospital. Let's just hope Cal doesn't decide he wants to come early!

* I am worried about how I am going to take care of a toddler and a newborn. The only saving grace is that Jason won't be going back to work so I will have tons of help. I don't think either of us know just how much work this is going to be and I am scared. We are both going to try and be more relaxed this time around. I will not freak out if breastfeeding doesn't work out. I will not freak out if Cal doesn't sleep well (Jesus I really hope he sleeps well). I will not freak out to take a shower in case he cries. Seriously, can I just be more relaxed this time? I was such a basket case with Jack and I think that is why I don't remember a lot of his newborn stage.

That is it for updates from me. And to add to this baby preparation panic, can you believe that Christmas is 19 days away? I am not prepared! Time needs to slow down for sure.

Jack's Christmas

2011-12-05T13:21:00.000-08:00

This post is all about Christmas and how spoiled rotten my son is. I swear, we were paring down the Christmas gifts this year after last year's toy explosion but Jason obviously didn't get the memo.

Long before we started purchasing gifts I knew I wanted to get Jack a play kitchen. He loves the one at daycare and he loves opening and closing doors. I had my eye on a couple but mainly wanted wood and small-ish since we have a lack of space.

This is what I ended up buying:

I am hoping it will be a big hit.

After I had ordered the kitchen, Jason announced to me that he had purchased Jack a tricycle. How cute that he thought of a gift on his own and bought one?!?

This is what he ordered:

Also on Jack's Christmas list are:

* 24 month sized clothes
* Pet net for his massive collection of stuffed animals (purchased)
* Slippers (purchased)
* Play food sets
* Elmo Rockin' Shapes and Colors

Since Jack already has two big gifts we are going to try and tame what else we buy for him. He will get a stocking but I think with a couple of other minor purchases (like some new books), that will be all we buy.

HOWEVER, he still has gifts at Nana and Papa's to open. And gifts from his aunts. And gifts from my Dad. Among other gifts. Seriously, this child is going to be spoiled. I don't know how much more this tiny house can take in the way of toy explosion.

I need to constantly remind myself what Christmas is all about. It's not about material gifts or spending money or baking. It's about Christ, family and giving back to others. So when I go shopping I will have to reign myself in from buying any more crap!

It's Been a While

2011-11-30T10:50:00.000-08:00

I have been a bad blogger. But I had my reasons. My entire family was sick. Jack had yet another trip to the ER after vomitting 13 times in an hour. Jason came down with an awful cold, I got two colds (although pretty minor) and then there was the whole holiday thing, yada yada.

At any rate, I am back.

I have lots of updates so I thought I would break them into categories. Easier to keep track of my thoughts that way.

Jack

* After another trip to the ER on November 19th, Jack is feeling much better. Since people are temporarily lactose intolerant after stomach viruses (who knew?) we still are giving Jack soy milk. This is to give him a chance to recover and build up some of the good bacteria in his belly. He took the ER visit in stride. After vomitting literally 13 times in less than an hour, our pediatrician told us to hightail it to the ER. That amount of throwing up is NOT normal. Coincidentally we had been to the Children's Museum the day before so I am pretty sure that is where he picked up the latest bug. I am going to place my child in a plastic bubble for a few months.

* Jack was home with me exclusively for 10 days. Between being sick, having days off from work myself, and having a daycare provider with sick kids, we spent a lot of time together. I tried to keep us busy with trips to the Children's Museum (fail!), the grocery store, trips to visit my in-laws and other random things. Boy this child is active. Seriously.

* The other day Jack was home with me and clearly in need of a nap. He was being a holy terror and I said to him "Jack, you are driving Mommy nuts". He looked back at me and said "Nuts". Clear as day. Jason and I could NOT stop laughing. It was so funny.

Baby Cal

* Well, after settling on baby Cal's name, it appears we have changed our mind. We decided that even though we love the middle name Charles, Cal Charles just doesn't sound right. So Jason and I talked and decided we will probably go with Calvin Wyatt. This is not set in stone so we will see what Cal looks like when he is born and then decide for sure.

* I am 33 weeks along which means Cal is going to make his appearance in 6 weeks or less depending on if I happen to go itno labor early.

* We pretty much have everything we need for Cal with the exception of diapers. Jason's Mamo asked us what we needed and when we told her diapers, she said "I will write you a check and you can buy what you need since I can't shop". This makes us happy! We are hoping it's enough to get all our cloth stash and buy a couple of packages of newborn diapers so we don't have to cloth up in the early days.

* This little guy is running out of room. His kicks are becoming much stronger and the rolling is down to a minimum.

Me

* Work has been slightly crazy. That's another reason that I haven't blogged as much. I am working or tired after working that I don't feel like updating.

* I am getting to the point in my pregnancy where I am getting uncomfortable. My symptoms have not been nearly as bad as they were with Jack though. When I was pregnant with him at this point I had so many things to lament about: Heartburn, terribly painful hips, swollen hands and feet, pregnancy carpal tunnel and a hard time sleeping because all of the above. This time my main complaint is just a hard belly and having trouble breathing. Thankfully my hips are doing okay so far since I religiously sleep with my pregnancy pillow. I don't have a hard time sleeping (yet).

* I had my 32 week appointment yesterday even though I am 33 weeks. I am really trying not to freak out but there were some things that came up that were slightly alarming. My doctor didn't seem overly concerned, but I am. My blood pressure was up (138/85) which is high for me. When the nurse weighed me, she asked me to step back on the scale because she thought she had made a mistake. Apparently, the last two appointments my weight has held steady but yesterday, I was up a total of 10 pounds. That is a ton for me since I have only gained 14 pounds the entire pregnancy. After my BP check and my weight gain, the nurse said she would do my urine dip and come back if there was protein in my urine. If there wasn't, she wouldn't come back and not to worry. Well, when I was talking with my doctor, she did come back. I did have protein in my urine. I know enough about pre-eclampsia to know that all of these are symptoms. I was asked if I had any noticable swelling, which I don't think I do. My doctor said that if my BP was high at my next appointment we would chat. I have no idea what he means. But in the meantime, if I have any headaches, dizziness or noticable swelling I need to call immediately. Well that sure puts my mind at ease.

* I made a lot of fun things for Thanksgiving. I made two pies, one pecan and one pumpkin and two casseroles: Sweet potato and green bean. They were all a hit at our family gathering. I felt accomplished. I haven't baked/cooked that much in a long time!

* I have maternity pictures this weekend. I am nervous because I haven't had professional pictures of myself done since our wedding. I hope I don't look like a whale. I am on the lookout for some cute boots to complete my outfit. Thankfully my friend Jenn is doing the pictures so I know even though I might look terrible, the pictures will turn out beautiful!

* I got my hair cut on Saturday and it feels wonderful. It looks better, I feel better, my head is lighter and it's a nice boost to my self esteem.

Everything else

* Jason is putting in his notice very soon. As soon as he gets his vacation paycheck in hand, he is giving his two weeks. We are nervous and well, nervous. We can afford this but it's going to be such a huge transition for him. Not only for his schedule being turned upside down but to take care of two little boys.

That's about it for now. I am sure I forgot some stuff since it's been so long since I posted.

I hope everyone is well and gearing up for Christmas!

Randoms

2011-11-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

Today is Friday and I have today off! I have extra vacation time that I need to use up before the end of the year and my mother-in-law is out of town today (she usually watches Jack on Fridays) so a day off today worked out great.

* I took Jack to the Children's Museum today. He had a blast playing in the water room, in the Lego exhibit and in the dig pit. He is very much an independent player and doesn't pay any attention to the other kiddos.

* He strung together two words yesterday! He has done this before but it's usually like "Bye dog" or "Hi kitty". Yesterday? It was "More milk". Jack has also recently started saying Thank You. It comes out more like "Dang ooo" but hey, it works. It's never too early to teach good manners.

* We are finally sick free in our home. After roughly three weeks of stomach viruses, colds, and other maladies, we feel much better! Jack is now back on milk and very happy about it. Now what to do with a half gallon of chocolate soy milk?

* Jason and I celebrated our anniversary last weekend and while we had a good time, it sucked that Jason was sick. We had a nice dinner, breakfast and tons of conversation. The room wasn't our favorite (it would have been more enjoyable had the pillows been comfortable) but all in all, it was a nice break. I even enjoyed a glass of wine. I sipped it over two hours and it will be the only alcoholic beverage for this pregnancy.

* I am starting to feel a little better about Cal coming. I managed to put together a nine bin storage unit for the boy's bedroom and went through eight Rubbermaid bins of baby stuff. It is now all organized and labeled. The newborn to 3 month sizes are all washed and mostly put away. So if this little man comes now, at least he has clothes to wear!

* Christmas shopping is underway. I am a slacker this year and started late. Jason ordered Jack a Schwinn tricycle and I ordered a wooden play kitchen. Those will be Jack's "big" gifts. We will also be stuffing a stocking for him and possibly getting two more small gifts. I want to make a run to WalMart (normally I am not a fan) on Sunday for some stocking stuffers for the rest of my family.

* Jack has been sporadically sleeping through the night. His sleep overall has improved and I couldn't be happier. Murphy's Law says that he will start sleeping great right in time for Cal to make his appearance.

* We decided to keep the tiny kitten I rescued last week. After a clean bill of health from the vet and falling in love in about 10 minutes, little Lisa is now a part of our family. She is extremely energetic and has that "kitten" personality. You know, the kind where they climb curtains and run all over the place? She loves playing with Jack's toys.

* My c-section is officially scheduled. January 10th at 7:30am. We need to report to the hospital at 5:30am and by around 8:30, we should have a new baby! This is barring that he doesn't come any earlier. Don't get any ideas Cal.

* Jason has less than a month of work left before he quits to be a stay-at-home-Dad. We are both nervous. Him for having the responsibility for taking care of two kiddos. Me for the financial burden and being the sole bread-winner. We have discussed it and if it doesn't work out, it would be perfectly fine for him to go back to work. I won't hold it against him and he won't feel embarrassed that it didn't work out.

That's about it for us this week. I am 31.5 weeks pregnant. Just about 7.5 to go before we have our new addition!

Christmas Survey

2011-11-17T10:28:00.000-08:00

I stole this from my friend Rachel over at B&R Plus 1....More.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I am not a fan of eggnog at all. It just seems......wrong. Egg? In an drink? Hot chocolate all the way. Even better if there is a bit of peppermint in it.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wrapped definitely. When I was a kid, my parents would disguise their handwriting so we wouldn't know that Santa presents weren't from them. We plan on getting a play kitchen for Jack for Christmas. Not sure how I am going to wrap that one.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I do white lights on our tree but growing up my parents always used those big fat colored ones.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? I did once but only because someone gave me some.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually the day or week after Turkey Day. I used to go all out but with a toddler, we have scaled down a bit.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? I have to choose just one? Oh my. Too bad, I will list my top three. The Chex Mix I make (I make it a bit spicy. Jason and I could eat a whole pan in a day or two if left to our own devices), Christmas cookies - Peanut Butter Blossoms specifically, and the Christmas rolls my mother-in-law makes for Christmas morning. So yummy!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? My parents would bundle all us kids up and pack chairs and a thermos of cocoa and we would trek over to the skating rink at White's Park. This is when I lived in New Hampshire and the outdoor pond would freeze over. Why the chair? Because when we were young and just learning to skate, pushing a chair in front of you was the easiest way to keep your balance.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I was about 11 and I cried when I found out. No joke people.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope. We like to prolong the excitement and tear into everything on Christmas morning.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? This year we will do mostly non-breakable ornaments and a smaller tree since Jack is of the age where he wants to touch everything. Last year he didn't pay much attention to the tree at all thank goodness. I have ornaments that I have collected all my life that go on my tree. I have ones that I made in grade school, some that I have purchased while on vacation, some that my family has purchased for me and other special ones. Some years I do an all blue tree with only blue ornaments and it turns out beautiful. One of my favorite ornaments by far is a Old World glass tomato that my mom bought for me. I have a lot of Old World ornaments and they always make it on my tree.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love it! Portland doesn't get nearly enough.

12. Can you ice skate? I love to skate. Haven't done it in over 15 years at least.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I have so many. As a child, I remember getting a scooter from my mom's best friend. We didn't have a lot of money growing up and she would always make our holidays special. I also loved the year that my in-laws bought us all the baby bedding stuff we needed. That was very special. They bought us Jack's mattress, crib sheets, bumper, and his glowing Seahorse. They spoiled me that year. My favorite gift from Jason probably had to be the year he got me my KitchenAid mixer. I knew what it was when it was delivered to the house and to be honest, I was not excited. I was like "he got me a mixer?". But in the end, I loved it. There are so many times I use it and think of him.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? I love the holidays but the most important thing is to keep up tradition. I could not make it through the holidays if I couldn't do the "traditional" things that I do every year. A shopping day with just Jason and I wrapped up by dinner out. Stockings for the adults over at my aunt's house. Christmas rolls for breakfast after tearing into gifts at my in-laws. Starting last year, I made a new tradition and got Jack Christmas jammies and read him The Night Before Christmas. I will continue this tradition every year.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Christmas cookies! Of any sort really.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? See my answer above. Christmas jammies for Jack and reading him The Night Before Christmas.

17. What tops your tree? I have a beautiful blown glass topper. It looks like a genie's lamp. That is the best way to describe it.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Would it sound selfish if I said receiving? I am really bad at gift buying.

19. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yuck to eat. But I always buy a box to hang on our tree!

20. Favorite Christmas show? Movie? It's a toss up between Love Actually and It's a Wonderful Life. Every year on Christmas Eve I wrap last minute presents and watch It's a Wonderful Life.

21. What is your favorite Christmas song? A song from the 80's called "Do They Know It's Christmas?". It's a compilation of British bands/rockers singing. I crank that up every time I hear it.

To wrap up this post, I cannot wait for Christmas this year. Last year was fun because it was Jack's first Christmas but I think he "gets it" a little more this year. I want to do so many things with him: Cookies for Santa, watching him open all his loot, singing Christmas songs. Watching Christmas through a child's eyes is so special.

Unexpected Kitten

2011-11-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

This morning as I was driving Jack to daycare, I was crossing a very busy intersection and noticed something running across the road. I slowed down, expecting it to be a rat, but instead, it was a kitten! It was a small little guy in the middle of a very busy street. I swung into the center turn lane, threw on my hazards and got out hoping to grab the kitty.

Little kitty ran away and under a fence before I could grab it. I felt awful. I jumped back in my car and drove about half a block and saw another kitten! This one was in the gutter and I was able to safely pull over, grab it and then get back in the car. Don't fret moms out there. Jack was safe the whole time. I didn't go far enough away from the car that he was in danger.

I held the kitty on my lap and dropped Jack off at daycare. Poor little thing was shivering and purring at the same time. And I will be honest, she smelled.

I can only assume that some asshole dumped a litter of kittens. The area is all businesses and no houses nearby so I don't think they would have escaped from a house. I didn't see a momma cat nearby. They might be feral but regardless, that situation is not safe for a tiny kitten. They would have gotten run over.

Kitty came home with me and I woke Jason up to help me bathe her. Like I said, she was stinky. Of course being the softie that he is, he instantly fell in love with her. I keep referring to her as a her because she's a calico and most calicos are girls. I believe the percentage is 95% girls. She was such a good girl while we were bathing her. She just sat in the sink and mewed a little bit.

Once we got her cleaned off, I put a towel in our kitty carrier and put here in there away from the other cats. I let her rest for a while and got some cat food and wet it down with some canned food. She scarfed it down immediately. I will run to the store later and pick up some actual kitten food.

Now here's the issue. We don't need another cat. I know Jason wants to keep her but we really can't take another cat. I have put my feelers out and asked my in-laws if they want her. My mother in law is coming over this afternoon to see her and I have a feeling she is going to fall in love. Good! They can have her. If they don't want her, I am going to negotiate with Jason. One of our other cats needs to be put to sleep. She has health issues that aren't getting any better and she isn't living a productive life. She has needed to be put down for quite a while but Jason just can't bear to part with her.

I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I couldn't grab anymore kittens. I even drove back the same way on the way home to see if I could spot anymore kittens. I am so scared that they are going to get run over. I wish I had done more to find the others. I feel guilty about thinking of putting our older cat down. Why is guilt such a nasty rude emotion? I know deep down I did what I could to at least save this one.

What makes me the most mad is how anyone could dump a litter of kittens? It was an incredibly busy road and they were going to get run over. How hard is it to take the kittens to the Humane Society if you don't want them? Or post an ad on Craig's List? There are always people that want to adopt kittens. Especially ones with a sweet face like this girl.

I think "kitty" is still young to be away from mom even though she ate some cat food. I would guess she's around 5 to 6 weeks old. She is still too little to use the big cat litter box so I temporarily made her a litter box out of a box lid (I think I am already smitten, ugh!).

At any rate, that is the story of the unexpected kitten. Please pray that those other babies got rescued and not run over.

Mish Mash

2011-11-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of random stuff to post about. It's easier to do snippets rather than type everything out.

* Jack hasn't thrown up since last Wednesday! I credit the soy milk. The only side effect? The world's stinkiest diapers.

* HOWEVER, he now has another virus. After a very high fever Monday and a trip to the pediatrician, his poor little body is recovering. When will this poor child catch a break?

* I have a 4 day work week which is awesome considering how crazy last week was. I plan to spend my Friday off by finish up the painting in this house. I lead an exciting life huh?

* Our 5 year anniversary is Friday. I can't believe it's been 5 years.

* On another anniversary note, we are staying the night here on Saturday and enjoying a nice dinner at the Black Rabbit. It's one of our favorite places to go. I have already scouted the menu and I know that Jason is going to be ordering the rib eye. I will probably get the steak medallions unless there is another special that catches my eye.

* Have I mentioned that my older sister is expecting another baby? And it's going to be a BOY! She already has a 2 year old and this baby is due in March. I love that we are going to have newborns at the same time again.

* I am ridiculously excited for the holidays this year. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and when you have little ones, it just seems so much more special. My due date is shortly after Christmas which makes me a little bit nervous that I am going to go early but I will remain positive! We have lists already for Jack. We plan to buy him one "big" gift and then a couple of smaller gifts. His "big" gift is going to be a play kitchen. It's wooden and nice quality and small enough to fit in our small living room.

* The Duggars announced that they are expecting baby #20. Why does everyone seem to have a negative opinion about this? Yes, she is of an advanced maternal age. Her last baby had complications but they don't have any correlation to her age. I am personally happy for the family and think they are so grounded and faithful. Haters need to zip it!

* I made an interesting soup this weekend out of Food Network magazine. It's a variation of a chicken noodle soup. It contained toasted spaghetti noodles, chick peas and a bunch of cilantro. It was very healthy and tasty! I would link the recipe but it's not on their website. Intead, here is a picture:

* This pregnancy is so much more different than Jack's. I have been lucky enough not to have hardly any of the same symptoms. I didn't have severe morning sickness. My hips don't hurt as much. My heartburn (when I have it) isn't horrible. I have gained weight at a slower rate. It just seems so different! I wonder if my body knows what to do this time or something?

* I have a kitten post that I am going to be doing later. I am pretty disgusted by humanity right now.

The "Yuck"

2011-11-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

I have gotten to the point where I have time to actually post about Jack's stomach issues.

Last Saturday, upon waking up and eating breakfast, Jack threw up. Threw up his entire breakfast right where he was sitting in his highchair. Poor little guy. He seemed fine after that though and wasn't running a fever. In the next hour, he threw up two more times, mostly bile/water. At that point, I got a little concerned and so I called my mother-in-law. She hadn't fed him any new foods at her house the day before and he hadn't gotten into anything weird.

Since my son has had a stomach virus before and the hospital explained how to go through a re-hydration routine, I decided to try that. I gave Jack half a Zofran tablet, waited minutes and then started him on small doses of Pedialyte mixed with grape juice. Note: We didn't have any in the house so my mother-in-law stopped by with some liquids and some saltine crackers. How nice of her! Jack seemed fine after that but we still took it easy for the rest of the day. I gave him very bland foods (crackers, non-acidic fruit like bananas, etc.) and his regular milk and he seemed fine. No more throwing up.

Saturday night he went to bed as usual. Jason went out on Saturday night. I woke up around 12:30 and decided to go check on the little guy. He had completely flipped himself around in his crib because he had thrown up and didn't want to lay in it. First, cue the bad mommy feelings. I didn't even KNOW he had thrown up. He didn't fuss or cry or anything.

I then had to get him undressed, cleaned up and re-dressed. He must have been so tired because I picked him up from his crib and laid him down on his changing table and he didn't even fuss. Normally he hates being changed in the middle of the night be he seriously just laid there and didn't move. I decided rather than stripping down his crib and changing the sheets in my blurry state, I would just bring him to bed with me.

I texted Jason and he came home immediately. He really didn't need to since Jack was sleeping but he did and I am grateful. He brought a towel in to lay under us and no sooner did he do that, Jack threw up again. I don't think I got much sleep the rest of the night since I was so worried about my boy.

Sunday was fine. I didn't give Jack milk. At the ER they said that milk is hard to digest and can irritate their little stomachs. I had remembered that and followed through. Jack didn't throw up all day on Sunday and seemed fine.

Monday he went to daycare and had milk - I thought it was fine since he was fine all day on Sunday - and threw up at breakfast and pooped through three pairs of pants. I had to go pick him early because he ran out of pants. Sigh. I called the pediatrician and talked to a nurse that I didn't really love. She made me feel pretty stupid but explained I should keep him off milk for 24 hours. When I explained I had been doing that and he threw up as soon as it was reintroduced, she disagreed with me. Apparently I am a liar. He had no milk for afternoon snack, dinner or before bed in the hopes to give his little tummy a break.

Tuesday: No milk, no puking but still had the diarrhea.

Wednesday: I told daycare that if he was able to keep his breakfast and morning snack, he could have milk for lunch and afternoon snack. At lunch, it would be over 36 hours with no milk. He did fine. Except at dinner. He threw up his entire dinner in his highchair. Sigh sigh sigh.

Thursday: I called the pediatrician because at this point it seems it's been a long time for this virus to clear up. The better nurse was much more helpful. She explained that stomach bugs can last weeks. And it's not unusual for kids to be fine on cheese and other dairy but have a reaction to milk. She suggested switching Jack to soy milk for a period of time to give his tummy a break and to give him yogurt to replenish the good bacteria in his belly. After a week on the soy he can start having milk again but slowly reintroduce it. If he starts vomitting again, back off the milk. If this all continues for about three weeks, he needs to be seen for a GI consult.

All this time I have thought maybe it was a lactose issue or milk allergy. It still could be but I want to rule out the stomach virus first.

This whole long drawn-out story leads to this: Jack now is on soy milk indefinitely. At least now he gets his "milk". He was upset at not being able to have it. He gets a cup before bed which helps him sleep. He hasn't been sleeping well which means this momma hasn't been sleeping well.

And to add insult to injury? He now appears to have a cold. Seriously, this child never can catch a break. I am tired of this stomach "yuck" and I am sure Jack must be as well.

28 Week Appointment

2011-11-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

On Friday I had my 28 week appointment. I double-teamed my appointments that day. I did my 1-hour glucose tolerance test in the morning before work and then had the appointment with my OB in the afternoon.

When I was pregnant with Jack I failed the 1-hour test miserably. It could be that I fasted beforehand which I didn't realize was not very smart. This time, I ate some scrambled eggs for breakfast before I drank the orange glucose solution. The results were available yesterday and if there was a problem my doctor was supposed to call me. Considering I haven't received a phone call, I will assume that I passed. Thank goodness because that 3-hour test is brutal.  I got really sick when I had to take it the last time and I was not looking forward to doing it again this time.

My appointment was pretty routine. I had my blood pressure checked which was higher than usual. I typically run right around 110/65. Friday I was at 135/70.  The nurse mentioned that she wanted to have my proteins checked to see if I had any in my urine. If I did, obviously, this is an issue. If not, then my blood pressure will be watched closely to make sure I don't have any underlying issues. The biggest concern they have is pre-eclampsia but at this point, since I haven't heard anything, I will consider no news as good news.

Up until Friday I had never asked about my weight gain or even looked at the scale to see how much weight I have gained.  I told myself with this pregnancy I would go easy on myself and not track every single calorie like I did with Jack. I had high expectations of myself the last time and in the end, I was disappointed. This time, I want to have a healthy relationship with my weight and not worry unless the doctor says something to me specifically.

I asked. And I was very shocked at the answer. 14 pounds. I honestly thought it would be much much higher. By 24 weeks with Jack I had gained 16 pounds. So at 28 weeks I have gained 14. I am very happy with this. Of course, I know this could change dramatically and the scale could jump a huge number but for now, I am happy.

My OB and I talked about when I would deliver. He generally schedules routine c-sections for 39 weeks. I asked him if I would be allowed to schedule for a day earlier at 38 weeks 6 days. That is the 9th of January and a Monday. I don't have any valid reason other than it's a Monday and it would be easier on my mother-in-law's schedule (she is planning to take a week off when the baby comes) as well as Jack's daycare schedule. I realize that both of these are very stupid reasons and I should want to keep this baby put for as long as possible. That is why I was not disappointed when my OB explained that in the last couple of months the hospital changed its policy and they don't allow women to schedule a repeat c-section before 39 weeks.

This means Cal's official eviction date, if he hasn't made an appearance already, will be Tuesday January 10th. I like this date. First, it's a nice even number. Second, it's a Tuesday which is the same day Jack was born.

Mark my words: I have a sneaking suspicion that Cal is going to come earlier. Jack was 9 days early. I think Cal is going to be 10 days early. Not sure why I think that but that is my marked prediction. Now that I officially stated that, he will be right on time!

My last update is regarding my labs. At my lab appointment I was told all the blood work would be back Monday. My nurse said that if there were any results that were off (low iron, protein, I failed the glucose test, etc.) that they would call on Monday. Here it is Tuesday and I haven't heard anything. Like I said before, no news is good news!

I am officially 29 weeks pregnant today. 10 weeks to go! Holy shit.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T19:12:00.000-07:00

I had a whole post typed out about "the yuck" and my 28 week appointment but I deleted it. I will post an update on "the yuck" when I feel like Jack has officially gotten over it. I thought he was doing better but alas, he's really not.

Instead, here is my little Yoda. I only took him to four houses for trick-or-treating since he has been feeling off. He was way more interested in picking up rocks and putting them in his bucket.

"Hey Mom, look! People give you CANDY!"

Someone thought he was a lamb. I can't say I blame him. He sort of does look like a lamb. Maybe a light saber would have helped his costume a little.

Yoda is sorting through his loot. I think he picked up more rocks then candy.

Now hopefully Yoda will use the force and sleep okay tonight. No "yuck" in your crib buddy okay?

Nursing in Public Debate

2011-10-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

I swear, The Bump is a source of good debate material! Yesterday there was quite the heated argument about nursing in public on one of the boards. I was surprised to see that while most women support nursing, about 50 percent supported nursing in public without a cover. I saw post after post stating that women who are nursing should use a cover or a blanket.

This is such an interesting argument to me. I wholeheartedly support breastfeeding. I really hope that I am successful this time around as I was not with my son. He had reflux issues, had to be "taught" how to eat and I suffered from constant supply issues. I pumped almost exclusively for 6 months and then had to start introducing formula.

I only successfully nursed in public once. I remember feeling so scared that someone would comment but in retrospect, Portland is so liberal that it is doubtful anyone would have spoken up. I used a cover and tried to be discreet. Afterwards I felt so confident in myself! The opportunites to nurse in public were very far and few between for me but when they did present themselves, I always tried to keep other people in mind. I used a cover, or left the room if I thought I would make anyone uncomfortable. This was due to my own body image issues, not because I thought people would be offended by nursing.

I wish more people would be accepting of breastfeeding in general. If more people would accept it, nursing in public wouldn't be such a huge issue. I plan on trying again and if I am able to nurse successfully, I will have no issue nursing with or without a cover depending on how my baby tolerates it. I just have to get over some of my body issues first ; )

The Genius Argument

2011-10-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

I belong to a community of message boards (The Bump) and today's heated argument was about whether your child is advanced or super-duper smart. I have always felt Jack was a little behind based on what other posters say their children are doing.

Back when I first had Jack, I was on these message boards a lot. I eventually had to stop posting. Mostly because of my PPD and constantly comparing my child to the other kids. I was jealous of all the moms whose kids slept through the night, had no problem nursing and on and on and on. I am not sure what made me start posting again. Maybe I have finally found my groove feeling like I have a good, healthy, normal kid. Maybe it was boredom.

At any rate, some of this comparing has come back recently. I see a lot of posters saying their toddlers can count to 10, say the ABC's, etc. I think to myself "Wow, Jack can quack like a duck and that's about it". My child says quite a few words but not pronounce most of them correctly, understands most of what we say, repeat some things, say some animal sounds when prompted and point out body parts. If I compare that to what other kids his age are doing, he is behind.

Today, someone pointed out that they felt most posters who brag about how smart their kids are probably embellishing the truth a little. Huh. You know, I have often felt the same way.

I know most people want to think their kids are smart. I for one think Jack is smart in some ways but not all. He is certainly not well advanced when it comes to speech and language. He was pretty advanced in his motor skills and still is. He crawled fairly early (not super duper early), walked early, uses utensils pretty well, drinks from a cup, etc. I am not deluded and think that my child is a genius.

You know what kid is smart? My nephew. When I was visiting in May, my nephew was 18 months old. At that time, he could name all kinds of things. He could say fruit, shoes, what's that?, nose, dog, etc. etc. etc. I commented to my sister several times about how smart he was. And you know what? She never once claimed he was a genius. I think people with smart kids know it and don't feel the need to broadcast it. People who claim their kids are smart probably just feel like they need to prove themselves.

There are all levels of smart and all children develop at different rates. Just because my 21 month old doesn't recognize colors yet or count yet he isn't stupid. In the reverse, if your child does, that doesn't mean they are a genius.

I am not sure what the point of this post is. Maybe that the comparing in my head should stop. Because it will never get anywhere. I need to accept that my child is fine and developing at a normal rate. And I am never going to claim my kiddo is a genius unless he can solve world hunger by the time he's 2.

All About Baby #2

2011-10-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am officially 28 weeks and 1 day pregnant. That means in 11 weeks or less I will have another little boy in the house. My doctor performs repeat c-sections at 39 weeks. I have a feeling I am going to go into labor a little earlier than that though. I could be wrong, but that is my feeling.

First off, I am getting a little more nervous that another baby is going to be here in 11 weeks. We are nowhere near ready. With Jack, his nursery was being cleaned and organized at this point. I am having panic attacks that I am going to go into labor early and won't be ready for baby #2.

That being said, Jason and I have talked about fast-tracking getting ready. We haven't bought a crib yet. Not sure if we will at this point. I plan to keep the baby in our room for the first couple of months using a Fisher Price Rock N Play so he won't need a crib at first.

What else do we need to do? I need to go through our shop and pull out all the newborn gear: My breast pump, all the bottles, clothes, swing, bouncer, tub, etc. I have a day off in the beginning of November and I plan to start the sort then.

Second, I need to come up with a storage system for the boy's room. They are going to share a room and with another crib in there, it's going to get cramped. I am going to utilize the closet for a storage system of some sort. I am thinking of something along the lines of a Cubicle storage system with baskets. We have some room in the dresser, which I will use. The Cubicle will have a ton of space for onesies, burp clothes, blankets, etc. That way, we can squeeze another crib in there without it being too incredibly cramped. Jack's toybox is coming out into the living room where my desk lives currently. This whole wall will become a baby/toddler play area. Toybox, play kitchen, bouncer, swing, etc. My desk is going to be moved into our bedroom so I can work from there while Jason stays home with the boys.

This is not going to be easy. Living in a 720 square foot house with two small children is NOT ideal. We have plans to move in the next year or so pending the sale of our house. We must make do at this point. We have no choice!

In other baby news, we have most likely chosen the name of this little boy. Most people are going to hate it but that's okay. That's the wonder of having a baby: YOU as the parents get to chose the name. Not other people.

Funny story about this name. Jason and I were chatting on Saturday night and I was getting increasingly mad at him. Every name I suggested he would say "Eh". Meaning "I don't really care for any of those". The problem was that he wasn't offering any suggestions himself. I asked at one point "What names DO you like?" and he couldn't answer. At one point, I read off the name Calvin and he says "Oh, I do like that name". Calvin!?!? I emphatically told him I hated it. I love the nickname Cal but I just can't get happy with Calvin. It reminds me of an old man's name. A creepy old man.

By Monday, the name was growing on me. Calvin. It doesn't sound THAT bad. It's certainly better than Egbert or Alcanzer.

By Tuesday, I had agreed that Calvin would probably work. I love the name Cal so I plan on using that more often than Calvin. I swear I have some weird pregnancy hormone thing going on because two days ago I was laughing about the name. No I really like it.

So, without further ado, Calvin Charles Lastname. Charles was my brother's name and it's also one of my nephew's middle names.

I know this could change at any minute but for now, we both like it and that's what matters. I probably won't share with everyone (most of my family and Facebook friends don't read this blog anyways) but if we do, I am ready for the negative comments.

I have an argument though. There are a lot of famous people with the name of Calvin/Cal. Cal Ripken the baseball player, Calvin Coolidge the President, Calvin Klein the fashion designer and John Calvin the religious figure. So if people tell me "ewwww" then I will point out that I am sure Calvin Klein doesn't think his name is ewwwwww.

Sorry this post was all over the place. I am tired and getting to the point in my pregnancy where I am uncomfortable so I am not sleeping well at night. Must.Get.More.Sleep.

Jack's Favorite Things

2011-10-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

If Jack were able to talk or write, this list would be completely from his mouth. These are a few things that he loves right now. As you know with toddlers, they are fickle and the things they love changes on a daily basis.

* Balls. Throwing them, talking about them, looking for them. When we were at OMSI the other day, he spent almost an hour playing with nothing but.

* Elmo. He loves Elmo's World on Sesame Street. If he could watch Elmo all day, he would. He asks for it by name "MoMo?".

* Doors. He loves to open and shut doors. This holds true for cabinets, regular doors and things like his toy box. He loves to say "door" and if we are on a walk, he makes a point of showing me all the doors. One day at my in-law's house, he said "door door door door" for 15 minutes and ran up and down the kitchen pointing at all the cabinets.

* Spaghetti or anything in a tomato sauce. I could probably cook up insects and smother them in spaghetti sauce and he would eat them. And in the reverse, he would probably eat any noodle known to man.

* Sleeping with mom. This mom is not a fan. I used to be. Jack slept with me until he was about 15 months old. But now that I am pregnant, huge, uncomfortable and we are trying to get Jack to sleep in his own crib, he yearns to be near me even more. He does come to bed at around 5:00am for some snuggle time which I like. But having a toddler roll around, smack you in the face constantly and kick you in the gut is not fun.

* Time with Nana. Jack ADORES his Nana. He loves to go to her house on Friday and sometimes cries when we head home.

Like I said before, this list could very much change by tomorrow. But for now, this is a love affair.

Fir Point Farms

2011-10-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

I have been looking forward to today for over a month. I wanted to take Jack to his very first pumpkin patch/farm for some fun fall activities. He was too little last year but this year I knew he would enjoy the animals and all that comes with a pumpkin farm. My friend Michelle suggested Fir Point Farms when we were on our way back from the State Fair over a month ago. She told me about all the activities and what sold me? The homemade warm donuts. Me and donuts? BFF's.

The weather was very nice today. Not too warm and not too hot. The drive was very short. Once you got outside the city, it was about 15 minutes away. We got to the farm early enough that it wasn't super crowded. I had done my homework and knew how many tickets I would need to purchase for Jack and I to do all the activities that we would want. I also stocked up on quarters for goat food.

Jack had a blast! He loved all the animals. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the goats eating out of his hand, but after a couple of tries, he would pick up one nugget of food and try to stick it through the fence. He "talked" to the goats, cow, chickens, bunnies and pigs. He loved watching the baby piggies eating and digging in the dirt. A couple came over to the fence and he thought that was the cat's pajamas.

Jack and I went on the barrel train ride together as well as the hayride. He really enjoyed both. He thought the tractor pulling both were pretty neat. But his favorite activity of them all? The giant slide. I paid three tickets for him to go up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down. Seriously, no wonder he took a 2 hour nap this afternoon. All that climbing and sliding is enough to wear anyone out. I was very surprised that he wanted to go down all by himself because as you can see, it's quite the slide.

Jack didn't care much for the nuthouse (it's a little log cabin with the bottom few inches of the floor filled with hazelnuts) or even the pumpkin patch but I did get him to show me a tiny pumpkin just right for his size.

Another activity he enjoyed was the pony ride. At first, he was scared to sit on the pony even after petting him. Once the ride got started though, he held on like a big boy and even enjoyed himself. I think I have a picture of him cracking a smile.

And the donuts did NOT disappoint. There is nothing quite like pumpkin or apple cider donuts straight from the fryer. Good Lord, I could have eaten a whole bag of them.

Fir Point Farms has a nice farm stand with all kinds of produce, candles, fresh pies, cider and other yummy treats. I purchased some cider because it's hard to find real apple cider. You either have to buy it at the farmer's market or at Sheridan Foods. The grocery store's version of "cider" is really just apple juice.

It was a fun morning. We will definitely be going back next year, although Jason will have to wrangle Jack while I carry our new little one.

And for those of you in the Portland area, here is the farm's website:
http://firpointfarms.com/

My Husband Rocks!

2011-10-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

This is such a different post from my whiny vent the other day isn't it? I promise my husband doesn't read this blog so he does not know that I was upset the other day.

This weekend was particularly rough. Jason was gone most of the weekend, which is fine, but he didn't tell me about it beforehand. I had planned nice dinners both nights and was looking forward to having some family time. Instead, on Saturday he went to the gun show (classy right?) and then attended a bachelor party. Fine. I still made dinner even though I didn't eat it. At least the leftovers were available to the two of us when we were ready to eat them.

I was in a bad place on Saturday. I had to work most of the day and was cranky. Jack was cranky. By the end of Saturday, I was angry with Jason. I felt like he didn't want to spend time with his family. I felt like his friends were more important than we are. And after a conversation last week about us not being able to afford to celebrate our anniversary (his words not mine) I felt like maybe he didn't want to be married anymore. Especially since he purchased a very expensive item this weekend. So he can buy a $600 toy but not spend anything on our anniversary which we supposedly cannot afford? I was not happy.

I didn't say one word to him about how I was feeling. Sunday rolled around and I was in a better mood. I didn't have to work much and when Jason woke up, he told me he had canceled his plans with his friends to stay home. I promise you, I didn't say anything to him. He must have known.

So what happened on Sunday to turn me around? Jason stayed home with us, his family. He went to Jack's tumbling class with us. And he surprised me with plans for our anniversary. Apparently his excuse for not being able to afford it was a cover-up because he had made plans already.

At this point I am feeling like crap. Clearly, my whiny vent was a little premature. Clearly I don't give my husband enough credit. After all, he is awesome most of the time. We are all allowed to be "bad" once in a while. He isn't any different.

What am I looking forward to in the next month? Spending my 5 year anniversary alone, with Jason. We are going out to McMenamin's Edgefield for happy hour and then dinner and then an overnight stay. Alone. Without Jack.

In a nutshell, my husband rocks. He planned this all himself. And I love him for this.

Weekend Review

2011-10-17T10:01:00.001-07:00

Let's not mince words here: My weekend sucked.

Not because my kid was sick or out of control or anything. Only because I was on-call for work and literally had to work all day on Saturday. Of course this was the day that my husband was not home at all. So dealing with a toddler who didn't want to nap coupled with the fact that I was attending to work was hard. I didn't even have the energy to eat dinner on Saturday night (I made a lovely chili in the crockpot along with cornbread). I don't even know why I bothered making dinner when Jason wasn't home to enjoy it.

Sunday was a bit better. I was on-call again but since it seemed to be slow at work, I managed to get a couple of minor errands in and Jason and I took Jack to tumbling class. I planned on having my little sister over for dinner as well. I *was* going to eat dinner on Sunday no matter what.

The weekend is over and while it was not great, I survived. This next weekend is going to be much better. I plan on taking Jack to Fir Point Farms. It's a farm with a pumpkin patch. It's his first time to a pumpkin patch (he was too little last year). That is our grand plan for Saturday and Sunday is another round of tumbling class.

Lord help me I just hope this upcoming weekend is better than the last.

Funky Funk

2011-10-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

Every few months I get annoyed and irritated with my husband. It's always the same issue over and over again: His work schedule and the amount of freedom he has.

The past few nights we (meaning me) have been trying to get Jack back into a normal sleep pattern again. Since we have been home, Jack has actually sleeping and going to sleep pretty well. The occasional night he will wake up and I will try and get him back to sleep but not always.

This is where my vent comes in. My husband works swing shift. I am used to this schedule. However, when my husband goes out with friends two or three nights a week after work, leaving me home alone with a toddler having issues sleeping, he has absolutely NO ROOM to criticize my parenting.

The husband goes out after work often. Which I normally don't have issue with. This week it's really bothering me though. Jack has woken up twice in the past week and hasn't been able to go back to sleep on his own. This means he comes into bed with me. I refuse to listen to him screaming when something is clearly wrong. Last night, he had a completely soaked diaper and soaked jammies. I am not going to just let him cry. I am going to remedy the situation and change him and then bring him to bed with me so we can both get some sleep. Earlier in the night I had no issue getting him back to sleep so it's not like he is waking up and screaming just to get his way.

Jason came home at close to 3:00 and says "So you gave in to his demands huh?". I explained that he had woken up earlier and I got him back to sleep with no problem. The reason he was in bed with me was because he was stressed about being wet and I had to change him. I asked Jason to go check his bed and see if it was wet. Guess what? It was.

I'm sorry but when I am doing 99% of the parenting myself you had better believe that any advice (even from my husband) is going to get my hackles up. He is constantly saying things like:

You can't let him control you
He needs to learn
I know it's hard to hear him cry but.....

Sorry dude. You don't have to listen to him screaming in the middle of the night. You don't have to deal with behavior issues when I bring him home from daycare. You don't have to feed him his meals or bathe him.

While Jason is home on the weekends, he chooses to play his computer games rather than help me. Yes, I could ask for help, but more than half the time, I get a big sigh and an eye roll. That pisses me off. The man has it very very easy. He doesn't have to cook, clean, any house projects, take care of the child (except at night time when he's not out with friends and even then, it's easy), take him to outings, grocery shop or anything. Hell, I pack his lunch for him. He has it easy.

I feel taken for granted a lot of the time. When I try and tell him that he has it easy, he agrees but once in a while it would be darn nice to get a "thank you". And stop telling me what to do. When you start staying home and taking care of the kids full time than you have every right to criticize and judge.

Now, on to my second vent. I wish *I* could go out with my friends. Heck, I wish I could go get my haircut without having to ask my husband to watch Jack. It's annoying and I deserve some time by myself or to have a girl's night. Having a girl's night is hard because I am alone with Jack during the week. I can't ask my in-laws to watch him unless it's a Friday because they get home from work so late. My options are limited and I have to ask them well in advance if they can babysit. If I want Jason to watch Jack, I have to make darn sure he doesn't have any pending plans. He often will make plans and not tell me leaving me high and dry.

I am in desperate need of some time with my friends. I can count on two hands (barely) the number of times I have been out with friends since Jack was born. It's sad. And it's starting to take a toll.

This is a whiny vent and like I said, it happens a couple of times a year. I need a good night's sleep, a tasty meal and perhaps a massage and then I will feel better.

Saturday Cooking

2011-10-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

I was really in the mood to bake and cook today. After not being able to cook or bake in my own kitchen for over a month, I really wanted to get back in the swing of things.

Fall is in the air and what better way to celebrate fall than with a spice cake. Betty Crocker's recipe had way too many ingredients that I didn't have on hand so I went to my trusty website for finding any and all recipes: http://www.allrecipes.com/

I found a lovely sour milk spice cake recipe. I wanted to jazz it up a little by adding some raisins and apple and I am glad I did! The apples made the cake incredibly moist and I don't think it needs frosting. If you absolutely have to use frosting, I would suggest just some whipped cream.

Here is the linky to the recipe. If you feel inclined to add raisins, add about 3/4 cup of raisins. If you want to add apples, peel the apple (I used a Honeycrisp apple) and cut it up to about the same size as the raisin. Use about 1/2 cup.

And the obligatory picture:

For dinner, I had thawed some pork chops and didn't want to make any old mashed potatoes. Boooooring. Instead, I decided I would make Jason's favorite side dish: Macaroni and cheese. Not just any macaroni and cheese but his mom's recipe. It's pretty good. She adds a little heat with cayenne pepper and white pepper.

Here is the picture of what it looks like before baking:

And here's the after picture:

Yum right?

And the recipe:

Macaroni and Cheese

4 cups cooked elbow macaroni

4 tablespoons butter

1/3 cup flour

2 cups milk

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 teaspoon white pepper

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1.5 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1. In a saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat and then whisk in the flour. Let the flour cook to a golden brown.

2. Slowly add the milk while whisking constantly. Let the milk heat to almost boiling. It will get very thick. Just before boiling, remove from the heat and stir in the cheese. Depending on how cheesy you want the sauce, add more to your liking.

3. Mix in the elbows and then pour into a greased casserole dish.

4. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

I served the mac and cheese with our baked porkchops and green beans. Yes, we like canned beans in this house. After having frozen green beans for several years while living with my mom, I grew tired of them. Canned all the way.

To cook the porkchops, make a breading out of plain bread crumbs and whatever spices you like (I used smoked paprika, granulated garlic, salt and pepper). Dredge the pork in the breadcrumb mix and place on a pan. Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 20-25 minutes or until done.

Voila! My day of cooking. I think I am going to take it easy tomorrow.

A to Z of Me

2011-10-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

I borrowed this from my friends Katie and Hope.

A. Age: 33. I honestly had to think about this. Sad.

B. Bed: Queen.

C. Chore that you hate doing: Cleaning the bathroom. I hate everything about it.

D. Dogs: None. My Mom got one when I was about 18 but that's about it. I prefer cats.

E. Essential way to start your day: Does this involve actually waking up? Coffee with some sort of flavored creamer.

F. Favorite color: Sunny yellow. It's so bright and happy!

G. Gold or silver: Silver please.

H. Height: 5'7"

I. Instruments you play: I played the flute for many years and also know how to play the drums (not well), tuba and piccolo.

J. Job Title: Senior Application Analyst

K. Kids: One boy, 20 months old and another one on the way!

L. Live: Portland, Oregon. Known for it's rainy season that goes from September through May.

M. Mother's name: Deborah

N. Nicknames: Pachey

O. Overnight hospital stays: My c-section when I had my son.

P. Pet peeves: People who don't drive the speed limit whether it be driving too fast or too slow.

Q. Quotes from movies: I love the movie "JFK" but can't for the life of me think of any good quotes.

R. Right or left handed: Right handed

S. Siblings: Two sisters and a brother who passed away in 1986.

T. Time you wake up: Dreadfully early. 5:00 during the week, even earlier if the hubby brings the boy to bed with him. On the weekends, I am extremely lucky to make it to 6:00.

U. Underwear: These days it's granny panties for me. I used to wear thongs under my professional work clothes. Those days are long gone since my work attire is jeans and a t-shirt.

V. Vegetable you hate: I am not a fan of a lot of raw veggies. I will eat them cooked but raw? Gross. The veggies that fall into this category are carrots, broccoli and cauliflower.

W. What makes you run late: This rarely happens but when I do, it's because I am waiting on the husband to get ready.

X. Xrays you've had: My nose. I broke it when I was 13.

Y. What happened to Y?

Z. Zoo animals: I love the zoo. LOVE IT! My husband and I went on our first date there. I am obsessed with the cats (cougars, bobcats, etc.) and I love the Lorkeet exhibit. You can feed them apple juice.

Final House Updates

2011-10-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

Of course there is always more to do when it comes to house projects. At this point, I will call our house "completed". I still have to paint in some places and hang some pictures but I want to share the final pictures. For those of you who are friends of mine on Facebook, these are duplicate pictures.

The bathroom before.

The bathroom after. The burgundy tile was ripped out, new drywall was put up, new shower tile and I painted it a nice color called New Penny. Even though it looks a little peach, we love it! I also bought a new shower curtain to brighten the space. Long term: New light, paint the little shelves that surround the walls and a new, smaller pedastal sink.

The living room before.

The living room after. The carpet was removed, the wall heater (it's on a different wall from this picture) was removed, new trim was put in and I painted. I still have painting to do and the blinds to hang back up. In this picture you will see I was going for a "lived in" room with Jack's toys all over the floor. Long term: Area rug, a door mat, and a new home for my work desk.

The kitchen before.

The kitchen after. The countertops and backsplash were replaced and new trim put in. I haven't painted yet but it's on the list to do. Long term: Paint, install a shelf above the stove and change out the hardware in the cabinets.

Jack's room before.

Jack's room after. The carpet was removed, new floor was laid and new trim installed. Long term: Hang his corner shelves, get an area rug, install the curtains and blinds and make room for the new baby's crib. I have a hard time thinking about this!

I don't have pictures of our bedroom right now. Mostly because I hung up some blankets instead of curtains (classy right?) until we can get everything rehung. This room didn't change dramatically anyways since there was already wood floor in there.

These are "lived in" pictures and how our house looks on a daily basis. I don't fake my pictures or clean much before I take them. I hate staged pictures where not a speck of dust is out of place.

That is the end of our month long project folks! I am glad it's over!

Things I Love

2011-10-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

I am trying to put a positive spin on the day after a crummy night in our household.

* I love when I can put Jack down awake in his crib for bed and he puts himself to sleep. This was definitely not the case last night.

* I love being back in our own space and the "newness" of our house.

* I love how my husband always thinks of me when he comes home after boy's night. He usually stops for food and gets me something. Even if I don't eat a cheeseburger at 2 in the morning, he saves it for me.

* I love the mattress in the hotel in Denver. I could have slept forever on that thing. I really should call and find out what it is.

* I love learning new things and having something "click".

* I love the lovely fall weather we are having in Portland. Bring on the sweater weather and cozy socks!

* I love being able to feel this baby move all the time. He is a mover and a shaker that's for sure! I wonder if he will be as energetic as Jack was?

What do you love? Add your positives or favorite things in the comment section.

Chaos

2011-10-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

Chaos is what my life feels like right now. It's nothing I can't conquer, but it's still frustrating.

My life for the last two weeks has been a whirlwind. Here is what we have been up to:

* Saturday the 24th: Jack went to the ER for a stomach virus and Jason and his peeps moved all our furniture back into the house.

* Sunday the 25th: I moved all our boxes, unpacked and then had to pack for Denver.

* The week of the 26th through the 30th: In Denver for business while Jack stayed home with Nana and Jason. Let's not forget to mention that Jack got a black eye at daycare during this week.

* Friday the 30th: Returned home from Denver to a half unpacked house and half of our belongings over at the in-laws.

* Saturday the 1st: Unpack, wrangle a cranky boy with a mild cold who slept horribly the night before, and run over to the in-laws to pack up the rest of our crap. Oh, and grocery shop because we have no food in the house.

* Sunday the 2nd: Unpack some more, take care of the boy, cook and get my workstation set up so I can actually work, and tons of laundry.

I haven't checked email, my bank account, or done anything remotely productive other than work.

Our house is pretty much functional, although there are painting supplies stacked in our bedroom because I still have touch-ups to do. Jason has some computer stuff still to unpack and I have some boxes to break down and stuff to still grab out of our shed.

I hate chaos and being unorganized. HATE IT. I thrive on cleanliness and organization. I want all the painting to be done RIGHT NOW. I want all the curtains and blinds up in the windows RIGHT NOW. I want all the house unpacked RIGHT NOW.

It will get done. I just have to keep telling myself that. In due time right?

A Stomach Virus

2011-09-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

On Friday, Jack came down with a bug of some sort. He was fine all day, playing and running like normal. At about 4:30 in the afternoon, he threw up and from there, it was all down hill. My mother-in-law was watching him that day and after he threw up the first time, he started running a fever. Then at 7:00 on their way home from a late visit, Jack threw up again in his carseat.

He went to bed almost immediately when he got home after a bottle of milk and a little baby Tylenol to bring his fever down. He slept for several hours just fine but around midnight while he was in bed with me, he started squirming, tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable. He kept trying to relieve his stomach pain by tooting but it just wasn't working. In bed, he started dry heaving and threw up just some clear liquid.

By the morning, he had thrown up a couple more times and wasn't able to keep any fluids down, not even water. After a call to his pediatrician, they suggested I take him to the children's emergency room at Emanuel because dehydration could become a concern.

After hurriedly packing Jack's diaper bag with extras like towels in case he puked in the car and a blanket and some snacks for me, I brushed my teeth, threw my dirty hair in a ponytail and got dressed. Thankfully my mother-in-law offered to come with me which is awesome because Jason was sleeping and had to move us back into our house (great timing huh?).

I got to the hospital in record time and the check-in was immediate. We didn't have to wait to get Jack back into a room. The nurse came in quickly and took his temperature (rectally, poor guy), got a blood pressure reading and a pulse. His temp was 101.8 which is pretty high for him. Not his highest fever ever but enough to make me know something was definitely wrong. He was given one of those little soft baby hospital gowns to put on.

The doctor came in and did an exam and his lungs sounded clear, his belly was making good noises and since he didn't have diarrhea, they were able to figure out it wasn't a few things. It wasn't appendicitis due to the good belly sounds. It wasn't food poisoning because of no diarrhea. It MIGHT be a UTI but they wouldn't know that unless they were to catheterize him and that was hopefully to be avoided unless his fever continued for a couple of days. She was pretty certain it was a stomach virus which is easily treated.

Another nurse came in the room and by this time Jack had enough. Everytime someone came in he would cry. This nurse made him cry even more when she gave him a Zofran and a rectal dose of Tylenol. We were told that if he could keep the Zofran down for about 30 minutes, they would start giving him small amounts of liquid over the course of an hour. If Jack threw up anymore, they would have to give him an IV of fluids. Of course, this scared me so I silently prayed that he wouldn't have to go through that. The nurse explained we would be there for a few hours and to make ourselves comfortable.

Jack was very tired so he mostly sat on my lap and snuggled while watching Disney. He dozed off and on as well. He was so warm, even in his little hospital gown. Poor little guy.

The nurse came back after a half hour with Jack's first dose of fluids. She had mixed Pedialyte with some grape juice and he was given 5.5 ml of that through a syringe. If he was able to keep that amount down, we should double it after 10 minutes. Over the course of 90 minutes, Jack got small amounts of his "juice" and at the end, he was up to 22 ml. When he was able to keep that down, he was rewarded with a popsicle. Because he had lost a lot of electrolytes and vitamins, a popsicle is good because it quickly gets his blood sugar back up.

After he ate his popsicle it was like I had a whole new child. He wanted down from my lap and explore his room. Once the nurse saw that we were told to go home, yay!

The rest of Saturday was spent nursing a sick kid who got very small amounts of food along with small amounts of liquid as to not upset his stomach. I tried following the BRAT diet as much as I could but since Jack is pretty picky, he had other things as well. Saltines, some pears, applesauce, toast and oatmeal was his diet for Saturday. Unfortunately, I had to go help at the house for a couple of hours but Nana took care of Jack. Between napping and watching "Mo Mo" (Elmo) he would quietly play with toys.

After staying up late - he literally would not go to sleep. It was like he was making up for being sick and all the down time. - he woke up bright and early on Sunday morning. 4:30 am came quickly and that was when I knew my little man was feeling much better.

We will never know what made Jack sick. None of our family is sick, no one at daycare has been sick, he hasn't come in to contact with any weird substance.......I will never know. I will definitely be more dilligent when it comes to wiping down the shopping cart and washing hands. That trip to the ER was enough to scare me into becoming the psycho germophobe.

Mish Mash

2011-09-20T17:25:00.001-07:00

* We are still living with my in-laws, although we are moving this weekend. It honestly hasn't been that bad.

* The house renovations are officially DONE! I am still in the process of painting, but I will be done by the weekend. I appreciate all the help that my friend Michelle provided this weekend. I wouldn't have been nearly as far without her!

* Jack is having a rough couple of days. I am not sure if he's teething, tired, or just plain wanting to go home. He cried when I dropped him off at daycare yesterday and when I picked him up, he was very cranky and ended up not having a bath because he wouldn't stop crying or let me undress him.

* I travel to Denver for work next week. This is the worst possible time. Seriously. I am very grateful for my job but with moving back in and unpacking and wanting to enjoy my house, it's just not a good time.

* Speaking of Denver, I didn't have any work appropriate clothes that fit my fat butt so I had to go buy a pair of black pants. I am going to be "that" person that wears pants for several different days. I have two dresses and plenty of tops so it won't look like I only own one pair of pants, which I sadly do.

* There is a huge list of house stuff that I want to buy. I am not talking an entire redecorating process, just a few things that would better match. For example, since the burgundy tile is gone from the bathroom, I can pick a new shower curtain that will look much better with the new paint. I am thinking of something in the aqua family to brighten the room up. We also need area rugs so our floors aren't ice cold in the winter. I can't pull the trigger and spend over $150 on a single rug though. I am cheap.

* I am 23 weeks pregnant today. If I assume that I am going to deliver at 39 that means I have 16 weeks to go. Holy chit.

* A Facebook friend of mine, Cara, delivered her baby boy early yesterday and he's in the NICU with several issues. If you could spare any good thoughts and prayers, I would greatly appreciate it and I know she would too.

I will get some new and updated pictures of the house soon. Keep checking back!

And Then There Was Floor

2011-09-15T10:23:00.000-07:00

Our house is mostly done. There is very little work to be done and what there is should be finished by Monday. That means we are still living with my in-laws but that's another story.

When I went by the house yesterday the flooring was virtually done. The only room that was left to complete was Jack's room (the temporary kitty condo).

Here is what our floor looks like:

Along with the new floor there is also brand new baseboards. It really makes our house look virtually brand new. When we paint this weekend it's really going to look new.

I need to do some shopping for new rugs. I noticed that when Jack was running around the house and playing, he dropped a toy and it made a huge noise. We definitely need the rugs to muffle the sound.

It's all coming together. Keep your fingers crossed that we can move back in soon.

Go The F*%$ To Sleep

2011-09-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

I want to buy this book or at least read it. I would be willing to bet it would help my mood with Jack's recent sleep regression. Folks, this sucks.

Jack was never a good sleeper by any means but it's gotten bad. I chalk this up to living with my in-laws. He is in a new place, a new crib, new people and all that crap.

My son used to go down to sleep at 7:00. I would place him in his crib awake and he would eventually put himself to sleep. Not so much now. The past couple of nights if I try to place him in his crib awake, he screams inconsolably. Normally, I would let him cry for a few minutes, but guess what? This is not kosher with the father-in-law. He gets distressed if Jack cries so he goes in and rubs his back to sleep. I keep explaining that it's no big deal and he will stop crying after three minutes max. Let him cry. No dice. The last two nights I have had to resort to rocking him to sleep. This sucks for many reasons. It's really friggin hard on my back to rock a toddler on a bed in the spare room. It teaches him that this is the new norm for going to sleep. This is the first issue.

The next issue? Since we are sleeping in the same room, when Jack wakes up, he refuses to go back in his crib. Guess what that means? My no longer bedsharing toddler now wants to bedshare. Damn it! I thought we had broken this habit. Almost four months of sleeping in his crib and not bedsharing and the child regresses. This is the second issue.

The third issue? Jack used to sleep from about 7:00 to 2:00 or sometimes 3:00 in the morning. Now? He is waking up anywhere from 10:30 to 12:30 and wants to come to bed with me. So much for a long stretch of sleep. Nope! He wakes up and wants to come to bed with Mommy. This child is spoiled.

I am hoping all these issues can be corrected once we are back in our own place. It will likely take a week of breaking the "habits" he has acquired while here. This week will consist of crying it out in his crib (likely), waking up every hour (very likely) and wanting to sleep with Mommy (almost certain).

This SUCKS. Truly sucks. I am tired and want my bed back. My 22 week pregnant body needs rest without a toddler constantly kicking me in the stomach and smacking me in the face.

House Updates

2011-09-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today is day 11 of the house remodel. It's going very well! The contractor is hoping to be finished this week. I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will be done Wednesday or Thursday so I can go in and do some painting on Thursday night and Friday night. We'll see.

I want to show the dramatic changes of before and after on the bathroom and the kitchen. These rooms are virtually done with the exception of paint.

So without further ado!

The bathroom before:

The bathroom (mostly) after:

The kitchen before:

The kitchen (mostly) after.

Obviously, paint needs to happen here. I am thinking a nice neutral tan-ish color since a lot of my kitchen accessories are red.

And because it's so beautiful, a close up of the countertop and backsplash:

I still want to do some smaller projects like replacing the cabinet and drawer pulls in the kitchen. And because we are now having hardwood floors rather than carpet, I will need some area rugs.

I can't wait to see today's progress! The floors should be mostly done. Keep your fingers crossed that we finish on time!

Living "Abroad"

2011-09-06T19:18:00.001-07:00

I put abroad in quotes because let's face it, living 8 miles from your home isn't really abroad.

I want to do this post because it's important to evaluate our situation at the in-laws while our house is being remodeled. I was leery of living in their home for potentially up to a month. Not because we wouldn't get along, but because I didn't want to invade their space.

The first week was rather smooth. They were on vacation and out of town for the majority of the time so our paths really didn't cross. We have our own bathroom here, our own bedroom (which the three of us share) and during the day when I am working, my in-laws are both at work. The house is very quiet.

The biggest advantage? The space. Their home is at least 1400 square feet which is about double the size of our home. Jack has a fenced in backyard to play in. He has free roam of the open floor plan and he loves running from room to room and causing trouble. I can be in the family room/kitchen and not bother my in-laws if they are in the living room. As a matter of fact, that is what I am doing now. There is a tv in here and I have my own little space. I can read, watch tv, surf the net, or whatever.

My mother-in-law cooks every night but I have made it clear that she is under no circumstances to cook dinner for us. She offers but I tell her no most nights. I don't want to eat their food on top of staying in their home. She will cook for herself and my father-in-law but since they eat pretty late, Jack has already eaten and usually so have I.

I have bought almost all our own groceries and cook for Jack using food I either brought or have purchased while we have been here. Yes, I have eaten some of their food as well (so has Jason) but I have either restocked it or bought something similar in its place.

We are really trying not to be a burden. I tidy up the house every night, put our dishes in the dishwasher, don't rely on them to take care of Jack, have vaccuumed and cleaned when they were on vacation so they don't come home to a messy house, watered the plants and cleaned the cat box. All our laundry is done by me and I have it out of the dryer immediately so as to not impose. I do not want to be "that" houseguest.

If you asked my in-laws, I would be willing to bet that they don't notice us most of the time. Yes, we are present in the house but all in all pretty quiet.

Ask me again in a week. Things may have changed dramatically. Let's hope not.

The Toddler Tantrum

2011-09-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

We have all witnessed it. The child that pitches a fit in a public place. The mom that is very clearly embarrassed, or even the mom that doesn't give a rat's ass that her child is screaming.

I had "that" child and I was "that" mom today.

Jack and I went to the mall today in search of maternity slacks for me and new picture books for him. I told him over and over on our car ride that if he was a good boy that he could play in the play structure when we were done and maybe pick a new toy. I am not delusional enough to think that he actually understood me but what the heck? Maybe he did.

Off to the mall he went and honestly, he was an angel like he usually is. He has always been very good about sitting in his stroller for short periods of time. Jack likes to people watch and the mall is always a good place to do so. I tortured him through two clothing stores looking for pants. We made a trip to the book store and I got him two awesome new books.

Then, as promised, we went to the play structure. All was well for about 10 minutes. He happily played with the other kids, ran around and climbed the tree. Then he realized that it was an open structure and started taking off down the mall. He was almost three stores down by the time I caught him. That kid is super fast! I had my eye on him the whole time but I had to dodge other kids to gather him up. Jack had seen those little riding toys and wanted to climb on them.

Since he wasn't able to be contained I told him it was time to go. Cue the tantrum. He arched his back, started screaming and kicking making it impossible to get him in the stroller. Instead, I carried him down the mall to some benches (all the while he was kicking and screaming) so he could calm down. I struggled to get him in the stroller but I did somehow manage. I was sweating and I am sure people were looking at me and thinking "Wow, that child is out of control". I kneeled down on the floor and told Jack "I know you are upset but you can't run in the mall. Mommy can't see you and you could get lost". I try to reason with him but I know he doesn't understand.

Once in the stroller, he finally calmed down and we walked towards the end of the mall where we were parked. I thought as I walked "Wow, I managed to keep my cool. I never raised my voice. I corraled him the best I could". I honestly was proud of myself. I survived a temper tantrum in public!

Tomorrow we are heading to the state fair. I am hoping to avoid the tantrums but we will see. I can just do the best that I can in the situation. I think that might become my new parenting mantra: Do the best in the situation.

It's a.............

2011-09-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

Today was our "big" ultrasound. It went great! The baby is measuring right on track. With Jack, he was a few days ahead and weighed 14 oz. This baby is exactly on track with it's due date and weighs 13 oz.

I just love watching the sonographer take all the measurements and point out the body parts and organs. It wasn't quite as foreign this time since I remember Jack's ultrasound.

The difference this time is that this baby is a huge wiggle worm! The sonographer could not get good measurements at first because of the baby's position. It was laying on it's side kind of transverse but facing my back. That meant that measurements of the heart were difficult. In the end, the sonographer was able to get the right measurements, but every time she would go in and get a good shot, the baby would either flip or completely change positions. I honestly don't remember Jack moving around that much at his ultrasound.

We were asked if we wanted to know the gender and of course we said "yes"! Well, it was very very clear as to what the baby's gender is! BOY! Everyone was wrong except for my husband. He has been the only person this whole pregnancy who has thought boy. I thought girl (I did last time too) and so did everyone else in my family. Jason admitted that earlier in the ultrasound he thought he saw a peek of the penis but didn't want to say anything. Me, being the ultimate unaware person didn't even notice.

It was a pretty great appointment. Today was also our big boy's 19 month birthday. I can't believe in 4 months I am going to have two little boys! It's exciting to think about Jack having a little brother to play with. And the best part? We have all the clothes and toys and things for a little boy! I had saved all of Jack's clothes and I am so glad that I did.

What a great day! Happy Friday to everyone.

Days Two and Three

2011-09-01T13:09:00.000-07:00

I didn't do a separate post for Day 2 since there wasn't a huge amount of change. Therefore, I am combining. It's dramatic the changes that have been made over the last two days!

Here are some pictures of the progress along with my thoughts.

The carpet is gone! I was concerned that when the carpet was pulled up that the floor would be in super good condition. What a concern right? The reason I was concerned is because then I would regret our decision to lay new floor instead of refinish the existing. However, with the patch work that would need to be done on the fireplace hole (picture in a minute) along with the supplies, it would have significantly added to the budget.

Look at this floor. It's beautiful. Sigh.....

But here is the deciding factor as to why we won't be refinishing. The gaping hole where the fireplace used to be. Finding flooring to match and making sure it's secure would be a project. We will be keeping the hardwood underneath in case the new owners really want to refinish it.

Here is the kitchen. The backsplash is gone, revealing lovely 80's wallpaper. Isn't it nice?

Lovely wallpaper complete with pastel flowers.

Does anyone have an idea as to what this mysterious hole might be? I am not sure. Maybe old plumbing?

The hole where the wall heater was is now spackled (or is it mudded?) and covered. I am shocked at how good it looks!

And now that the wall heater is gone, the thermostat is no longer needed. Yippee!

And, here is the bathroom! The drywall is up and mudded. I am not sure how many more layers of spackle are needed but I am hoping the tile will come soon.

All in all, I am very pleased with the progress. Today when I go over, I am hoping to see the tile in the shower being started and maybe the kitchen counter destroyed. Am I the only odd person out there that loves seeing destruction of ugly house stuff?

The Name Game

2011-08-31T08:23:00.000-07:00

I am 20 weeks pregnant and even though my husband refuses to discuss name choices until he knows whether the baby is a boy or a girl, I still want to get them down on paper.

I am 99.9% sure this baby is a girl. I just have a feeling based on how this pregnancy is going. I have felt completely different, haven't been as sick or tired and have felt pretty good! Based on that, my body has either adjusted to being pregnant, or it's a girl. I vote for the latter.

At any rate, these are my favorite name choices. Jason hates almost all of them but that's okay. I have my opinion and I am allowed to like them.

Girl Names

Sophie
Josephine (Josie for short)
Norah

Boy Names

Finnegan
Wyatt
William (Will for short)

Those are my top three names for each. Here is the problem. Sophie is beautiful but paired with Swanson, it just sounds too "sing-songy". Will is great, but you know when you have a William, people are going to call him Billy or Bill. Both of which I HATE. Even though Jack is a simple, short name, people still feel the need to give him a nickname: Jackie. I loathe this and cringe every time someone says it.

Based on how long it took us to come up with Jack's name, I have a feeling we will be waiting until the last minute this time too. We fought almost up to the bitter end. I desperately wanted to name him Emmett but my husband just couldn't fall in love with that name. Instead, he compromised and said we could use Emmett as a middle name and what about Jack as a first name? I immediately fell in love.

Just like last time, we will be keeping this baby's name a secret. Likely it won't be any one of the names above because like I said, my husband hates almost all of my name choices.

Day One

2011-08-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jack and I went by our house to see the progress of the demo. He was super cranky after I woke him up from a nap at the sitter's house. He didn't calm down or stop crying until we got to the house and he got to explore the chaos. Don't worry, I didn't let him play with nails or eat anything toxic.

I get giddy just looking at these pictures. It's fun to watch a job in progress and dream about what it's going to look like when it's complete.

Look at this bathroom! Half of the burgundy wall tile is gone. I saved a piece, because I am weird like ,that, as memorabilia. Maybe I will frame it to show just how far we have come with this house.

Does anyone know what this box in the bathroom is? I didn't inspect it too carefully but it looks like an electrical box of some sort.

Down to the studs! Currently our toilet and pedastal sink are sitting in our living room. Classy right?

There isn't much going on in our bedroom yet. The baseboards and window trim are gone. Since there wasn't any carpet to rip up there won't be a whole lot to show here.

The living room. Look! The wall heater is gone. Jack had a blast exploring and playing with the stuff on the floor. Apparently he had thrown a Spongebob toy in the wall heater because he found one on the ground.

Another shot of the living room and hallway. I can't believe how much space was made just by removing that wall heater. Look! There's Jack running through the house!

I love this shot of our toilet sitting in the living room next to where the wall heater used to be.

One more shot of the living room with the window trim gone.

The backdoor. The door trim is gone. All of the baseboards and trim/moulding are being replaced so they match and don't look so old and beat up.

I can't wait to see what today brings. I have a feeling the carpet will be gone and possibly some stuff in the kitchen like the backsplash and countertops. I will be curious to see what condition our hardwood floor is under the carpet. If it's in good shape, I will feel bad about laying new floor over the original oak flooring, but again, because of budget we couldn't justify paying a few extra thousand dollars to have it refinished.

Demo Day!

2011-08-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today is demo day at Casa De Swanson and I thought I would post some lovely before pictures. Huge amount of sarcasm on the word lovely. This is going to be a picture heavy post so bear with me.

I plan on taking pictures daily to see the progress but I don't plan on posting daily! I don't want to overwhelm people.

The thing I am absolutely most excited about is the destruction of this burgundy tile in the bathroom. It wouldn't be so bad if the old homeowners grouted the tile correctly but they did a sloppy job and the lines are uneven.

Exhibit A: Bad grout lines

Exhibit B: The entire bathroom covered in burgundy tile.

In defense of the old homeowners they had a clawfoot tub that broke and pulled the plumbing out of the wall which in turn cased a flood. So in the haste of repairing they probably didn't care too much about what the grout looked like.

There isn't too much exciting stuff going on in the bedroom other than new flooring. Yes, we could have refinished the existing floor, but this would have added thousands to our budget. It wasn't in good shape either.

Exhibit C: The bedroom with its worn flooring

The living room is going to have this bad boy wall heater ripped out! Woo hoo! It's the monstrousity on the right of the picture. And that ugly gross carpet is being ripped up and new flooring installed.

Exhibit D: The living room with the soon to be gone wall heater

Exhibit E: Gross carpet. The cats use it as a clawing post. And one of our cats has a sensitive stomach which makes it impossible to keep carpet clean.

The kitchen! Bye bye worn gray laminate countertop and backsplash! Hello beautiful new counter and tile backsplash!

Exhibit F: Countertops. If you look carefully at the edges, they are orange from old age. It's time.

Exhibit G: The kitchen in its entirety

I am truly excited to see the transformation over the next few weeks. My house will never be so empty again that's for sure. Once we move back in it's going to look like a whole new house.

Moving Day!

2011-08-27T07:32:00.001-07:00

Well, the time has come. Our house is (mostly) packed up and ready to be moved to our little POD out in front of our house. Jason's dad will be here at 10:00 before the heat of the day is too intense.

I am planning on taking pictures of them working their butts off. I can lift some things but I have already been told under no circumstances to lift anything heavy. Whatever, I am not disabled. I can help.

The thing that makes me the most nervous is spending three weeks at my in-laws. I get along well with them but I also haven't lived with them for any amount of time. Vacation, weekends at the boat, etc. That is the most time I have spent 100 percent involved with them.

I cannot WAIT to see the transformation of this house. The plan is for me to come by every night to feed the cats and clean their litter box and to take pictures of the progress. Week one will entail the bathroom demo and putting up new tile and drywall. Week two will entail everything else! Week three is an 'extra' week in case our contractor runs into any problems or thinks he needs more time to complete a project.

God speed Swanson family. I will need all the luck I can get in these upcoming weeks. Oh and did I mention that I might need to fly to Denver during all this? Oh boy.

Random Stuff

2011-08-23T17:31:00.000-07:00

* Well, Jack woke once last night around 3:30 so I will consider him sleeping through the night for two nights in a row!

* Toddler eating habits drive me bonkers. My child does not like much protein or much of anything really so I try to give him something new and two things he likes for dinner. Tonight? Bean and cheese burrito, corn and oranges. He ate the oranges, the corn and about three bites of burrito. I know he won't starve, but seriously? He will eat one day right?

* I am 19 weeks today. Woot! We have our "big" ultrasound on September 2nd.

* This weekend we move completely out of our house for 3 weeks. Our remodel is starting and I am nervous. Not nervous that it won't be done right, but nervous that we will be living with my in-laws for three weeks. Hopefully we won't all drive each other insane.

* I am stoked for my upcoming trip to the Oregon State Fair. Jack has never been so I hope he really likes it. I think the animals are going to be his favorite. My favorite? All the terrible, unhealthy fair food. Funnel cake, mmmmmmm.

* I have been bad about cooking these days. I have a post started about a recipe I made a couple of weeks ago and I can't seem to find the motivation to finish it. Moving in with the in-laws who like to wait on us hand and foot is going to be challenging. I won't be able to cook while I am there.

* I still haven't talked to my mom. It's been since May. There is a whole big long story behind this, but I think she is mad at me for whatever reason. She doesn't know that I have a new job, how my pregnancy is going or how Jack is doing. The very last thing upsets me the most.

* We went to Enchanted Forest this weekend and Jack had a blast! He loved running all around and he especially loved the big slide. He went on three times and probably would have kept going if we didn't move on to the next exciting adventure.

* Jack's speech has really exploded. He has started saying the following words: Go, ow, choo choo (for what a train says), baby and he sings the E-I-E-I-O part of Old MacDonald. Although it just comes out "oh oh oh oh oh".

That's about it. Life is pretty busy, which is great!

A Sleep Update

2011-08-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

Because sleep is important to me and it's been about 2 years since I got a full night of uninterrupted sleep, it's time again for a sleep post.

Jack's sleep has gotten significantly better. Ever since I started putting him down at night awake but drowsy, he has been putting himself to sleep. There are some nights when he cries and I have to go into his room to comfort him or I have to pick him back up and rock him again or give him more milk, these times are growing less and less. I am still waiting for the magical night where he sleeps through the night. Granted, my husband usually takes over the night time shift, but I still hear every little noise in our tiny house so I wake up too.

The past few weeks, Jack has been waking up about 2 to 3 times a night. Last night? He didn't wake up at all. Wait, what? I should count this as sleeping through the night but since he was dead dog tired, I don't. I think it was probably a fluke. Let's see if it he does it again tonight. If he does, then I will officially say he is sleeping through the night.

When he does wake up at night, it's generally after about 5 or 6 hours of solid sleep. He goes to bed at 7:00 and generally wakes up around 1:00 or 2:00. My husband usually goes in and gives him a hug and Jack lays right back down and goes to sleep again. I think he just needs reassurance that someone else is still in the house. Or maybe he just needs a hug. We are very lucky that usually he just needs a hug and goes right back to sleep. I know some parents have to rock or nurse or feed their kiddos back to sleep.

Now that I have posted about Jack's apparent good sleep these days, tonight he is going to sleep rotten. Cross your fingers that I am wrong.

Paci Fail

2011-08-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

Last night we tried weening, or starting to ween Jack from his pacifier/bah/paci. Big.Fat.Failure! I am not sure if he's teething or didn't feel good, but he wailed. And wailed. And wailed. The bedtime routine went fine and normal. But when it came time to pop the paci in, I gave him the one I had cut the tip off. He definitely did not like it. He got confused and then angry and started crying and squirming around for a new paci. I held strong.

Down to bed he went and with a little crying, he went to sleep. He slept for a grand total of 30 minutes and then woke back up crying. Jason, who happened to be home last night, finally came into my bedroom and asked "Where are his pacis?" At this point, I didn't want to hear my little guy crying anymore so I told him where the good pacis were stored. That seemed to calm Jack down for a little while, but he still woke up several times crying.

Me thinks there are some toofers coming through. Now is probably not the best time to break him of his paci habit. We are moving out of our house in two weeks which is going to be a big disruption of our life. Maybe once when we are back in our house and settled, we can try again.

I honestly feel like a terrible parent. Listening to him crying like that broke my heart. It wasn't a normal "I am pissed off" cry. It was more of a "Mommy, why are you punishing me?" cry. I wanted to cry right along side him.

Poor baby. I think I can let him have the paci for a little while longer...........

18 Month Appointment

2011-08-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Jack's 18 month well baby check. Not only did he do great but the appointment reassured me that I am doing something right.

His stats:

34 inches (90th percentile)
25.8 pounds (48th percentile)

His pedi was pleased with his speech and how many words he is saying. She said that anything between 4 and 20 words at his age is perfect. Jack is at the high end of that range so I can stop worrying. His speech was the only thing that I was concerned about, mainly because he doesn't pronounce words correctly all the time.

Despite the long wait at the doctor, Jack was in good spirits. He was interested in all the things the doctor and nurse were doing. This is the first time that he didn't cry when they checked his ears or put the tongue depressor in his mouth. His tubes look good and are placed correctly with no sign of infection.

We have a healthy boy! That was pretty evident while watching him climb the play structure and interact with the other children. He is such a ham and is starting to really imitate others. When one child would yell or screech, Jack would do the same. While annoying, I consider that a learning milestone so I am happy when he does stuff like that.

He received two booster shots and I am not sure if it was the shots or just being tired, but my child slept from 7:15 to 3:00 without waking up! I am sure this trend won't continue and I am certainly not taking it for granted but boy was it nice!

Things I Love

2011-08-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is a post about things I love. Because, let's face it, we can all use a little happy.

* When my son grabs a book and climbs in my lap for me to read it.
* Starbucks Caramel Macchiatos. I may or may not buy one every morning ; )
* My car. A Ford Escape. Best 20 grand ever spent.
* My family, duh. I feel this is too obvious of an answer.
* Pancakes at Biscuit's Cafe
* Sleeping in (which comes very rarely!)
* Yankee Candle Macintosh scented candles
* Animal and baby videos on America's Funniest Home Videos
* When I ask Jack for a kiss and he comes at me with an open mouth. It cracks me up.
* Having no more morning sickness with this pregnancy
* Facebook
* When Jack is really interested in something, he opens his mouth really wide.
* Pretty much every cute thing my son does.
* The fact that my new job comes with very little drama. Soooooo not what I have experienced in the past. Love this!

I am going to try and make an effort to bring this topic up again. Back when I kept a journal, I made a point to write five things every night that I was either grateful for or that I loved. It's such a good way to remember the good things rather than focusing on the bad.

Another Similarity

2011-08-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

I frequently check my blog to see what "milestones" I had with Jack and when. I was curious to see when I first felt him kick for sure. I do remember it was a Friday and I was at work and when I looked back into old posts, I determined it was at 17 weeks and 1 day.

Yesterday was 17 weeks and 1 day and I was hoping for a repeat milestone. The day came and went with nothing.

Today, I felt the baby kick for the first time. 17 weeks and 2 days! I can't believe it is so close to when I felt Jack for the first time. Isn't that crazy?

I know it was the baby and not gas because it was three little thumps in the same exact spot. Go figure, that is exactly what I felt with Jack.

Seriously, this pregnancy is so similar in some respects but so different in others!

Uhhh Yes It Was a Surprise

2011-08-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

I am not sure when it became okay to ask someone if their pregnancy was planned or not, but I got asked this yesterday. I was so caught off-guard that I didn't know what to say other than the truth.

Scene: I was at the grocery store briefly after work to buy some milk and cereal.

Cashier: How are you? How is that cute little boy you have?
Me: He's doing good. He is going to be a big brother actually.
Cashier: Oh really? How old is he again?
Me: 18 months. He will be almost 2 when this baby comes.
Cashier: Wow, was this a planned baby? That seems like a short time period between babies.
Me: Uhhh, no it wasn't planned, but we are more than happy.

Yikes! How uncomfortable. I am an honest person so when asked, I tell people. But I didn't think it was really okay for an almost stranger to ask.

While I have said before that this baby was a surprise, that doesn't mean he/she isn't very much wanted. When I found out I was pregnant, I was in a state of shock for at least a day. Not because I didn't want the baby, but because it took 18 months to get pregnant with Jack. We did the whole planned timing thing and with this one, it honestly took one time. I don't mean that to be hurtful for anyone who has difficulties conceiving, I really don't. Another thing that I was in shock about was that our house is so small and I didn't know how we could handle another baby, or how we could afford another baby in daycare.

After the initial shock wore off (with huge help from my husband who was also shocked, but very happy), I became excited. I get to experience the baby stage again! This time around, I was determined to enjoy pregnancy and try and be more relaxed when the baby came.

It's amazing how my mentality changed literally overnight. One day I was in shock and the next I was already in love with my baby and wanted desperately for him/her to be healthy. So even though this baby was not planned, we definitely WANT this child.

Back to the comments from the grocery store cashier. I didn't think it was unusual for babies to be born approximately two years apart. My brother and I are two years apart. I have a friend who has two babies under one. My mother-in-law is one of 7 siblings, 5 of them born within 5 years of each other (5 under 5, wow). And, am I okay to be slightly offended that I was asked if my pregnancy was planned? Asking this question is almost like asking how much someone weighs, or if they breastfeed, both of which are uncomfortable questions to be faced with.

I suppose the point of this post is that yes, my child was a surprise, but nonetheless, we are excited and can't wait to meet our new little one. Secondly, don't ask a person if their pregnancy was planned unless you are good friends, and even then, it's awkward.

Cravings

2011-08-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

While I don't have many cravings this time around (yet), I do have some pretty noticeable and strange ones.

I have been craving red meat like crazy. Steaks and cheeseburgers are sometimes all that I want. When I was in Denver the last time I ate red meat for dinner every night and it was divine. I must be slightly anemic since I usually don't crave meat in any form. I was borderline with Jack so I would not be surprised if I was again. Even extra iron tablets don't seem to help.

I am also craving vinegar based stuff. If I make a sandwich, I load it with mustard. My go-to sandwich the last few days has been sliced cheese and mustard. That's it. Pickles are also another vinegar based food that I want. I could (and have) eat pickles straight from the jar. I keep buying a huge jar and it is usually gone within a few days. The only downfall to this is the salt that they must contain. At least pickles start out as a vegetable!

In my third trimester with Jack I would drink orange juice like it was going out of style. While I am not in my third trimester yet I imagine I will have some funky cravings.

If anyone knows why I am craving vinegar, let me know! It must be some sort of vitamin or mineral I am lacking.

Jack is 18 Months

2011-08-02T09:33:00.001-07:00

I have a baby that has gone from this:

To this:

I love this picture because it shows just how active he is all the time and that face is priceless. He smirks a lot which usually means he is up to no good.

What Jack is up to at a year-and-a-half:

* He is active. Moving all the time. He is still not the type of kiddo that sits and plays with toys. Instead, he is much more interested in running, climbing, getting into things, climbing some more and jumping. I keep thinking he will surprise me one day and just sit and play.

* One of the only times he is quiet is when I am reading to him. He will often go get his favorite book (First 100 Words) that has pictures in it. He will turn the pages and ask "Dat?" while I tell him what each object is. He can identify almost every picture in the book if you just ask him where xxxxxx is. It's so cute to see his brain working.

* We have a picky eater. While he has his favorites and will eat readily when they are served, he doesn't much like trying new foods. Right now, and these change on a daily basis, your favorites are any kind of fruit, especially pears, ravioli, spaghetti, and Crunchin' Crackers.

* You sleep exclusively in your crib now (Halleluah!). You still wake up about 3 times a night but at least you are sleeping in your own bed. This has been a life saver for mom. She gets better sleep and even if you don't want to admit it, so do you. You go to sleep around 7:00 and wake up around 6:00. Dad still brings you to bed with him for an hour in the morning while I shower, but that is just fine with me.

* You have a pediatrician appointment on the 15th, but I swear, you have grown in height and weight. I kept telling Daddy that I didn't think you are heavier but the last few days it's been harder for me to carry you so I bet you have put on a pound or two. Your 18 month clothes, which were too big for you a month ago, are fitting you just right now. You wear 18 month clothes and size 4 diapers.

* The absolute favorite thing of your's is to play outside. It doesn't matter if all you do is pick up rocks and sticks. You are definitely an outside boy! We have a small pool in the backyard for you to splash in but you are more interested in just running around and exploring. If I try to bring you back into the house you usually will throw a tantrum.

* Sesame Street has become your favorite show. It used to be Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but lately, you are much more interested in Sesame. You especially love Elmo and Monster Clubhouse. I don't think I have seen you so entranced in anything!

* We are working on identifying body parts. You know eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, feet, belly, belly button, bottom and a couple more. Even though you can't say them, you definitely know what they are.

* Speaking of words, you say about 15 different words consistently. I have just recently discovered that your paci is called "Bah". Not sure where that came from, but if you say "Bah" it means you either want a bottle or your paci. We are trying to wean you off both though, much to your dismay.

I am sure I am forgetting to put some important things in here but you are growing so much that it's hard to remember everything! You continually surprise us with just how much you know. Every day it's something new and we get overjoyed to see your brain working!

You are loved by all buddy. Keep up the learning and growing! You have a little brother or sister that is going to be looking up to you soon.

Mish Mash

2011-08-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

I am not sure why but every time I type that title, I think of the giant in the Mickey Mouse version of Jack and the Beanstalk. He pronounces pistachios like "mishmashmios". Meh, I am weird.

* Our weekend was awesomely busy. Being that I work from home now, I get a wee bit stir crazy during the week. To counteract it, I like to go out and do "stuff" during the weekend. This weekend, we did the following: Went to the farmers market, got Jason a new phone, went to Target and Kmart in search of a play structure but settled on a pool, went to Enchanted Playhouse so Jack could burn off some energy, went to Ikea to get my new desk and chair and then out to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings.

* Jack has been sleeping pretty good the past two months. He still wakes about 3-4 times a night but he has been sleeping exclusively in his own crib. Last night was a different story. He must have had an upset stomach because Jason or I had to hold him the entire night. He was screaming and crying and obviously wasn't feeling good. Jason sat with him on the couch, I sat with him on the couch and then finally, I brought him to bed with me at 3:30 where he passed out cold. Poor guy.

* I am almost 16 weeks and officially wearing maternity pants. I was able to squeak by with my other jeans, but now the bellah is a little too poofy to be able to do that. Jason took a picture of me last night and I look more pregnant at 16 weeks with this baby then I did with Jack at 23 weeks. Yikes!

* We are going cloth with this next baby and I am overwhelmed. It's so so so overwhelming to know which diapers to buy, but we are starting out with pockets. So far I have purchased a Fuzzibunz and a Flip. Thanks to Erin's awesome posts about cloth diapers, I am really doing my homework. I want to get about 8 more covers and 20 inserts before the baby comes. I also have a diaper pail liner bookmarked on Amazon that comes with a wet bag. And I also need to get a sprayer to clean the poo. Seriously, I am a smart person, why am I so overwhelmed?

* Want to see my fancy new desk? It's not really fancy, but it's better than what I use right now (the couch. No, seriously). It fits just right in the spot we are putting it in temporarily, which is great. Our house is getting quite cramped. I will be so so so glad to move to a bigger place whenever that is.

* I made the tastiest corn chowder in the crock pot this weekend. Paired with a ham and a crusty baguette from the farmers market, I was in heaven. I didn't take a picture since it just looked like a big bowl of yellow, but the recipe is here. My Memere used to make the best corn chowder so this dinner reminded me of her. I miss you Memere!

* Next weekend I am going to cook dinner both nights. One night I will be making a white trash casserole. You will have to stay tuned for why I say it's white trash. The other night I will be making spaghetti pie which is a favorite in our house.

* Can I say how excited I am for some upcoming outings? On the 21st of August our family is going to Enchanted Forest for a play day. My cousin's daughter Hazel (who is almost 2) will be there as well as Jack and everyone in my aunt's family. So fun! And my sister and I are heading to the State Fair at the end of the month. It will be Jack's first time and I am thinking he will love the animals.

To end this post, here is a video of Jack in the bouncy castle at Enchanted Playhouse this weekend. He had such a good time!

Home Remodel

2011-07-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if our home remodel can actually be called a remodel because it's mostly cosmetic things we are doing. We aren't adding a room on or ripping anything out (much). For the sake of convenience, that is what I am calling it.

I need to give a disclaimer here. I am not handy, nor is Jason. That being said, we have hired a contractor, who happens to be our uncle, to do the job. We know it will be done correctly with less heartache that way.

Here are some pictures of our house currently. These are real life pictures (all of them before Jack came along) of our small house.

This is our living room/computer nook area. Since we only have two bedrooms, Jason's computer has been relocated to our main living area. Not ideal, but this is exactly why we are remodeling: To sell and buy a new house!

What is changing? In this room, as well as both bedrooms and the hallway, that lovely Berber carpet is coming up. Ripped to shreds. Since we have a cat with a sensitive stomach (the Tabby in the picture ironically) who pukes all the time and a toddler who throws food, the carpet is looking rather dingy. In it's place, we are having new laminate flooring put down. There is hardwood under the carpet, but unless we wanted to add several thousand dollars to the price of our remodel, we went with laminate. If the new sellers want to refinsh the floor, great.

Here is the gorgeous floor that is going in.

Formica Flooring, Cordelia series, Sierra Oak.

The major work is being done on our lovely (puke!) bathroom. Since we have moved in, I have absolutely loathed the bathroom. You will understand why. What you can't see in this picture is that ugly burgundy tile is throughout the entire bathroom. On all the walls, in the shower......well, everwhere. The contractor is ripping it all out. We have considered painting it, however, the previous homeowners did a terrible job at grouting. The grout lines are uneven, overlap the actual tiles, and just looks plain bad. So out the tile comes. New dry wall will be going up on the walls, and in the shower is going lovely, neutral new tile.

Not sure why these pictures are showing up so tiny. Harumph. The tile is Florida Tile in Soul Spirit Pearl. They are 20x20 tiles so it won't take very many to cover the shower.

Next up is our kitchen, which is not horrible. It just needs some minor fixes.

What is changing? The older laminate countertop and backsplash are being removed. We didn't want to buy granite because let's face it. In a house this small, most buyers would not expect granite. Instead, new laminate is going in.

Formica brand laminate in Ivory Kashmere.

Next up is the backsplash. Currently, there is a laminate backsplash that matches the countertop which we both hate. It's ugly and impractical. So here is what we chose. I need to state that in our haste of choosing products, I forgot to write down the color samples. They have them on file at the store, but I didn't write them down. I am pretty sure it's this pattern. It might be the lighter one. Hmmmmm.

Daltile Stone Radiance in Mushoom blend. I love it! It has a mix of glass and stone and I think it's gorgeous.

Using such neutral products throughout the house allows us or the new homeowners to paint with either neutral or colors. It gives us a lot of options when it comes to paint. We aren't going to repaint Jack's room or our room but the main living area, the bathroom and kitchen will need to be painted.

This is not the entire list of what the contractor is doing. He is also ripping out the wall heater in our living room since we haven't used it in years and it's ugly. He is also going to replace all the moulding in the house with new Colonial moulding.

We are also going to do some projects ourselves: New lighting in a lot of the rooms, new paint on the kitchen cabinets, new hardware on the kitchen cabinets and obviously, since our carpet is being removed, we will need rugs in the living room and bedrooms.

The only downside to all of this is that it requires us to literally move out of our house for three weeks. That means we have to rent a POD, pack everything up and move. Since I love my in-laws, that is where we will be staying. I hope to God that we don't all drive each other nuts.

History Repeats Itself

2011-07-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

Early in the week, I started feeling like something could be wrong. I was feeling "off". Although I had a doctor's appointment on Monday, I called on Thursday and asked if I could come in to the office and leave a sample.

My lower back was aching so bad, which is very unusual for me. One day of lower back pain is one thing, but four days in a row is not normal. Plus, I had cramps in my abdomen and pressure in my bladder region. These are the exact same symptoms I had when I was 15 weeks pregnant with Jack and it turned out to be a UTI.

Guess what? I am almost 15 weeks pregnant. Me thinks this is not a coincidence. Something must be up with my anatomy for this to happen twice. I checked my blog history to find out exactly when it happened the last time, and I found this. Wow. Same exact symptoms, same time frame. Ironic no?

I am on medication now for a confirmed UTI. Quite a bad one too so I am glad I went in. My doctor wants me to come back in a week to make sure I am better and check to make sure it hasn't moved to my kidneys. Apparently it can be very serious if it does. I am not worried though. I doubt it will morph into a kidney infection when I am on antibiotics.

I wonder what other symptoms/conditions/issues are going to repeat themselves this time? Heartburn? Terrible hip pain (God, I hope not)? Swelling? Pregnancy carpal tunnel?

Eeesh, fun times I have in store.

Blabbermouth

2011-07-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be fun to start tracking all the words that Jack can say. I am going to put a log on the side of my blog and below is the start of it, along with the pronunciation of things. I am considering it a word if he can't say it completely right but he uses it consistently and knows the meaning.

Car = Cah (like the Boston accent with this one?)
Bye bye = Buh buh
Dog = Daw
Momma
Dadda
Nana
Banana = Noh noh
Duck = Duh
Bubbles = Bubbahs
Bath = Baaa
Please = Ease
Kitty = Key
Mickey = Key
What's that? = Dat

I am sure I will be adding more words very soon. His favorite thing to say right now is bye bye. He says it to everyone for every reason complete with the hand wave. It's too stinkin' cute.

Mediterranean Pasta

2011-07-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

This is a recipe that isn't really a recipe. I made it up one day when I was craving pasta and didn't really have sauce or the traditional toppings. I whipped this up for lunch yesterday and boy was it good! If you are not a tuna fan, you can probably leave it out or substitute some type of bean (white or even kidney). Even better if you top this with Feta cheese. Sadly, I didn't have any but Parmesan was rather tasty instead.

Mediterranean Pasta

Pasta of your choice - ziti, penne, or even fussili
can of diced tomatoes (14.5 oz). You can use fresh if you have them, which I didn't
can of tuna drained and flaked
heaping tablespoon of capers
Kalamata olives, 1/4 cup sliced
Italian seasoning
oregano
cayenne pepper for heat
olive oil
parmesan or Feta cheese

1. Cook the pasta according to the package directions and drain.

2. While the pasta is cooking, add a tablespoon of olive oil to a large saute pan over medium heat. Add the tuna, diced tomatoes (slightly drained) and the rest of the ingredients. Simmer until heated through.

3. Toss with the pasta and top with cheese.

Jack even approved! I was rather shocked considering he is picky. He ate everything but the olives. He even picked the capers up one by one and chowed down. Surprise!

What's In Your Fridge?

2011-07-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

I copied this idea from Meredith's blog. I think it's fun, but my fridge is nowhere near as neat and clean as her's is.

The condiment door. What a disaster, but honestly? Who's looks very nice? If your's does, I think you are lying.

First shelf: Butter, eggs, sour cream

Second shelf: Pickles, ketchup, lemon juice, taco sauce, two different kinds of olives, relish.

Compartment to the right: That huge tub is full of sauce packets from various fast food restaurants. My husband insists on keeping them. Don't tell him that I periodically throw a bunch away. Three different kinds of all fruit jam, mustard and a tube of tomato paste.

Compartment underneath: Tub of garlic, jar of capers, breadcrumbs, shakey cheese (Parmesan in a tub, ick), and peanut butter.

Bottom shelf: Two kinds of coffee creamer, banana liquer, maple syrup from Maine (yum), mudslide mix, mayo and Ceaser salad dressing.

The main door. Don't worry about our lack of fruits and veggies. Our fruit stored in our fruit basket near the pantry along with onions, tomatoes and those other things that don't get refrigerated. I also have a stock pile of frozen veggies in the freezer. I don't cook often enough during the week to use up fresh vegetables fast enough.

Top shelf: Barbeque sauce holder and various sauces. Leftovers from Popeye's chicken (Jason loves that place), almond butter, fresh salsa and a huge container of hot sausage from Costco. The other side holds our two kinds of milk (whole for Jack and 1% for me and Jason) as well as our Brita pitcher and the rest of a can of cat food.

Second shelf: Leftover green beans, leftover spaghetti sauce and leftover fried chicken. The other side holds some tortillas and leftover chicken parmesan. I baked a huge batch for dinner and some for Jason's lunch.

Third shelf: Our salad spinner full of lettuce, Jack's yogurt, Jason's yogurt, a ready-to-use pie crust, hummus, mandarin oranges and leftover taco meat from burrito night. Our meat drawer holds various meats and cheeses. The freezer holds most of our meat (chicken, ground beef, steak, pork chops). I pull them out when I am ready to use them.

Bottom drawers: One side holds Jason's beer and a bag of baby carrots. The other side holds the containers of juice that don't have another space. Apple juice and pineapple orange, both for the boy.

What do you have in your fridge? How often do you clean it? I try to make a habit of cleaning it out every other week before I go grocery shopping. That way I know what I have on-hand and know what I need to shop efficiently.

12 Week Check Up

2011-07-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

It's only two weeks late right? Due to scheduling issues on my part and on the doctor's, I had my 12 week appointment today. I am 14 weeks tomorrow. Oh well!

This is probably the appointment that I like the least. The pap smear (ugh) and all the poking and prodding just aren't very fun. I did get to hear our wee one's heartbeat on the doppler, so that was very nice. It was a healthy 158 bpm.

I talked to my doctor about his thoughts on a VBAC and he is about 50/50 in favor. It obviously depends on the situation and the reason that the mother had a c-section the last time. Based on the fact that I didn't progress much more than 5 centimeters after 12 hours and Jack was in a funky position, I am not a good candidate. If I had a c-section because of a breech situation or had a previous successful vaginal delivery, he would be more in favor. He also explained the risk of uterine rupture is fairly low (about 1 or 2 out of 100 births) but it does happen. Plus, I would have to deliver at a different hospital in case of any issues with the baby. So, it looks like I will be having a repeat c-section. I am not thrilled but then I want my baby to be healthy.

He also discussed having my tubes tied after two babies, which I am not thrilled with either. I am toying with the idea of having one more but Jason thinks he is done with two. We shall see.

All in all, it was a good appointment. The fact that we have our 20 week ultrasound scheduled now is pretty scary! That means I will be halfway through at that point!

Blog Change Up

2011-07-18T12:47:00.001-07:00

It's been three years since I started this blog (and even longer that I started my cooking blog) and it's time for a change.

I do plan on using this blog primarily to talk about my kids, but I want to add in some personal elements as well such as recipes, changes going on in my life and our upcoming house remodel. It's time that I talk about stuff other than pregnancy and Jack. I need another outlet and place to update.

I haven't mastered how to change the title of my blog, so it will probably remain the same. I will update the tag line and the About Me section so readers aren't totally confused. Not that I have a ton of readers anyways!

I will be taking down my cooking blog which I haven't updated in well over a year. I might decide to link it for the historical stuff, but I plan to use THIS blog to add recipes if I feel inclined. I love to cook and want to cook and bake more. It's easier now that I have a toddler and not such a needy baby - although that is changing soon too!

If you are currently a reader, I hope you will stick around through these changes. As always, I value your comments so if there is something you want to see, let me know! If you hate something, let me know that too.

Enjoy the new changes!

Differences - This Time

2011-07-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

Now that I am expecting baby number two, I have already told myself that I am going to do things a lot differently this time. Of course, we learned a lot with Jack and I plan to use those experiences this time around.

* We use disposables with Jack. The thought of cloth diapering when I was pregnant skeeved me out. After all, I didn't want to have to touch poop or clean diapers. Ew! After about a week, that issue was no longer an issue. Poop no longer bothered me. This time, we are going to try cloth diapers. I say try because I might find it too cumbersome or time consuming with a toddler and a newborn. BUT, we will try. I have already purchased two covers and am on the lookout for the inserts I want (hey, Rebecca, get on that new Etsy project for me ; ) ).

* I plan on breastfeeding this time around. I did with Jack as well, but it was so stressful with his reflux and not knowing how to suck. I spent many days crying and stressing out. My supply suffered, I suffered, my husband suffered, and I feel that might be the root cause of my PPD. I refuse to let others dictate how I should feed my baby. Again, I will try, but I am not going to go through that heartache again. I know many people that formula fed right off the bat and their babies are perfectly fine!

* I WILL RELAX. This is a big one for me. I was so unable to relax and enjoy Jack's newborn stage and as a result, I have forgotten so much. This time, I will not freak out over every little thing. After all, I have been through most of it before so I know what to expect. I was unable to sleep or eat because I would freak out if my child made any little sound. I was afraid to take a shower in case Jack would wake up and cry for a millisecond. I know now that if this one cries, it's okay. I can finish my shower (as long as it's quick) or finish my sandwich without having heart palpitations.

* We will start this one on a sleep routine right away. Not RIGHT away, but within three of four months. I will try and not rock this baby to sleep every night. Yes, rocking is okay, but after a year of struggles with nap and sleeping at night, I realize that not allowing Jack to go to sleep drowsy on his own really had an effect. At 17 months he still does not sleep through the night. I will be brushing up on The No Cry Sleep Solution and reading what to do for small babies. I won't resort to cry it out, don't worry. He/she will be way too young for that. We will be putting he/she down drowsy and allow them to figure out what night night time means.

* I will let people help. This was hard for me. I am such a control freak that I didn't allow myself any time to just sit back and hold my baby. If someone was over to visit or help, I would take the opportunity to do laundry or fix them a drink. This time, the tables will be turned folks. If you come over to visit, yes, you can hold the baby, but be expected to help me out too. After all, I just had a baby. And if someone asks, YES, I can use some help. Bring over a meal, come watch the baby so I can take a nap. I wish I had taken advantage of this last time when people offered.

* I refuse to obsess over my pregnancy weight. When I was pregnant the last time, I would get upset at the doctors office on the scale. I would get upset if I gained too much. I am overweight to begin with and shouldn't be gaining all that much weight. But you know what? Jack was healthy and I lost all that weight almost immediately. I am standing backwards on the scale so I can't see my weight and I will eat what I want when I want it. Granted, this is not an excuse to go crazy, but I won't kick myself if I eat a damn cookie. Since I don't feel well most of the time anyways, this won't be too hard. I am lucky if I get three meals in during the day since I feel like I could throw up at any time. Plus, most foods don't sound good, so my caloric intake is pretty limited to what sounds good at the time. Last night, it was root beer. Seriously. I could have just drank a glass of root beer for dinner. Healthy right?

I know that it is likely that I will think of more things, and I also might change my mind on some of these tactics. After all, I am a pregnant woman who has a hard time making up her mind in the first place.

Dark Place

2011-07-09T08:48:00.001-07:00

I know I have so much to be thankful for lately (new job, new baby, good health, etc.) but I am very down. I have been in this dark place for a couple of weeks and I am not seeing an end in sight. I have been taking my Celexa religiously, but something just isn't right. It's probably the lack of counseling. Since I started my new job, I haven't been able to see my counselor Lindsay. I need to go back, I know this, but it's hard to justify being gone from work, a new job, for over an hour every Wednesday.

I have absolutely no motivation. The only thing that I can get in gear about is taking care of Jack. I sometimes do it half-heartedly. Don't worry, he isn't lacking or being neglected in any way. It's the energy level. I just don't have any right now to keep up with such a busy boy. I force myself to take him out on walks, to outings and on much needed errands.

I will be in Denver next week for work and I am not sure if this will give me a good time for reflection, or if it's going to hinder my mood.

I wish I could say what is going on in our house. It's nothing earth shattering, I just don't want to talk about it right now. I will get through it, but it's clear I need more help.

I honestly hope I can bring myself out of this dark place that I am in. It's not healthy for me or the baby that I have growing.

Sorry, I Lied

2011-07-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

This post won't be full of pictures sorry. I didn't take very many due to the fact that I was chasing a busy toddler and he doesn't generally hold still. We had a great weekend though.

Saturday was spent at the zoo with Julie and her little boy (he is smart and cute by the way). Jack conked out towards lunchtime, so I thought it was smart to get him home and down for a nap. We had a great time, but Jack was scared of the dinosaur exhibit. I don't blame him. They were pretty scary making those loud roars and such. We didn't get ice cream with Daddy like I wanted to because the boy (both of them actually) were pretty fussy. After a quick trip to the store for Drumsticks, all was well. Jack had a mini Drumstick, but he isn't the ice cream type.

Sunday was awesome. Seriously. Morning nap lasted an hour and a half. After a filling lunch, instead of going shopping like I had planned (boring!), Jack and I went to family swim at a local pool. I had chosen that pool because it had a kiddie area complete with fountains and a very shallow area. Oh dear. I could not drag my son out of that pool. He was fearless! He was jumping all over in the water, running as fast as he could, getting his head wet, playing in the fountains and the best part? He wanted to go on the waterslide over and over. We went on that waterslide about four times. And it was not dangerous, so my new wee one is perfectly safe. After tuckering the boy out, he had an afternoon nap of two hours. Yeehaw! It was heaven. I even had a little catnap myself.

Monday was cleaning up day and just being lazy for the most part. I did sneak in a fun trip to a playground where Jack spent his time picking up sticks and rocks and running in the grass. A man with his son commented "Boy, he sure is busy". People don't seem to believe how active he is until they see him in action. I hate fireworks and Jason had to work so we didn't have any real 4th festivities. He was dressed in patriotic gear, but that's about it.

This was a good weekend. Of course, there were times that I wanted to pull my hair out proving my theory that I would make a terrible stay-at-home mom. I do enjoy when he goes down for a nap so I can actually breathe. My friend Jenn over at PDX Momma says it best. They get into shit that they shouldn't and it just gets tiring. You can only say so many times "Jack, please don't play in the cat's water bowl" or "Jack, be gentle with the kitty" or "Honey, you shouldn't climb on the coffee table. You could fall and get hurt" or "Let's not push buttons on Daddy's computer". Seriously, the child is busy and I get tired. If that makes me a bad mom, so be it.

I hope everyone had a great 4th and got some rest! I sure didn't get much but that is okay in my book.

Busy Weekend

2011-07-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend, although we won't really be celebrating the 4th (Jason works and I hate fireworks), we do have other things planned.

Saturday
The zoo with Julie and her son
Go get ice cream with Daddy

Sunday
The mall so I can get some fat pants (aka maternity pants)
Church and time with Nana if they don't go to the boat

Monday
The park, a walk, or whatever fun strikes us. I would take Jack to the pool if they weren't all closed for the holiday.

Since I haven't posted a ton of pictures on this blog, I am going to make a point to take a lot of pictures this weekend so I have a fun post next week.

When Did That Happen?

2011-06-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Jack surprised me threefold.

1. He climbed our cat tree. It's tall so he really had to work at it. I realize this is not something to be proud of. It just surprised me is all.

2. I gave him a fork and a spoon at dinner and he used both like it was no big deal. My mother-in-law has been working with him on eating, but I had no idea he was that good! I guess it's time to offer them at every meal.

3. He drank from a straw. He did this two other times, but it was literally almost 6 months ago. He hasn't been able to do it since then. Tonight, he picked up my water cup and used the straw with no problem. He was very proud of himself and drank almost my entire cup of water.

When did my little guy get so.......old? Yikes!

Miscellany

2011-06-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I updated, so here goes!

* Jack's sleep has improved greatly. It all started when I accidentally let him cry it out. It honestly was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The longest he cried was the first night and that was 15 minutes and he didn't cry the whole time. Ever since then, I put him down fully awake and he falls asleep on his own! He still doesn't sleep through the night, but we are working on it. On Sunday, he slept in his crib the ENTIRE night. He woke up several times, but we were able to pat him and tell him "night night" and he would put himself back to sleep.

* I feel gross. Between nausea, terrible allergies and daily headaches, I am spent by the end of the day. I am going to bed at 8:00 most nights and I use the excuse that I am pregnant. Hey, whatever works right?

* After listening to my older sister talk about cloth diapers and doing some investigation on my own, we have decided to try cloth with the next baby. Jason still needs a bit of convincing, but his response is "Whatever you want honey". Score! I ordered just two covers to start with. A Flip pocket cover and a Thirsties pocket cover. I need to find some inserts now. I have a particular kind that I want to use, and the only place I have successfully found them is at garage sales. Guess I had better start purusing the garage sales around here.

* Jack still isn't talking much, but he is very good at imitating. If I say "head" and pat my head, he does it back. I know he can say words, he just doesn't want to. His vocabulary is good. If I ask him where the following items are, he will point to them or go and bring them to me: coat, shoes, duck, ball, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, head, feet, hands, belly, cat, cup, milk, bottle, pacifier. He can also blow kisses, wave bye-bye, and clap his hands if I ask him too. Personally, I think he is just stubborn.

* Is it too early to feel movement from this new kiddo? I am only 10 weeks, but I swear to you that I am feeling flutters in my belly. I keep trying to tell myself it's gas, but I know what gas feels like.

* Getting Jack in from outside is Hell. Seriously, he loves being outside and if I, or anyone else, try to bring him inside, he kicks, cries and pitches a fit. I guess he is just an outdoor type. He doesn't really play. He just squats down and picks up grass, rocks and sticks. He is more than content just doing that.

* I am being brave and squeezing myself into a bathing suit for the next 8 Saturdays. Jack has swim lessons! I hope he enjoys them. He looks awfully cute in his swimming attire after all. Don't you think?

All Alone

2011-06-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

I am all alone and in a strange city. What am I going to do for the next four days without my boys, especially my Jack Jack?

Let me explain. I am in Denver, Colorado for orientation for my new job. I mentioned that I got my dream job a few weeks ago and it's finally happening. I flew in this afternoon and got settled into the hotel room (which is huge by the way - I could entertain in here). Now I sit trying to figure out what on earth I am going to do. Yes, I do have work to do, but I am free in the evenings and am actually free right now until tomorrow morning. It's 2:30. Too early for dinner, too hot to do much walking outside, and tv just seems boring.

What scares me the most is how much I am going to miss Jack. I have never left him this long. The longest I have been away from his is overnight. A full 24 hours. This is like 4 of those 24 hours. Booooo! It's going to be weird not having a toddler snuggling in bed with me at 2:00am. However, my pregnant, fat body needs some rest, so I should consider this a good thing.

Jack is happily at home with Daddy. Jason took today and tomorrow off work so he could care for Jack. Nana will be taking over on Wednesday until I get home. I worry, not because Jason can't handle it, but because Jack is definitely a momma's boy. And let's face it, Jason hasn't cared for Jack more than 2 hours at a time since he was a newborn. He is perfectly capable and he's not nervous at all. Me, being slightly OCD made lists. Lots of them. What Jack likes to eat, a rough schedule of his day, what he should pack when going to Nana's. Seriously, Jason is not a dummy. He can do it. I think the lists were more for my own peace of mind.

I bet my son won't even miss me. After all, he didn't cry when I walked away at the airport. Jason said he went down like a log at naptime. He will be just fine. Mommy? Probably not so much.

One Baby

2011-06-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

All week I have had this odd feeling that I am carrying twins. That feeling quickly vanished when I had my first prenatal appointment this morning. There on the screen was one blob/kidney bean/Widget measuring one day ahead! The best part was her little heartbeat of 166 bpm.

My mother-in-law came to the appointment so she got to share in my joy.

This is really starting to feel real!

Notice I call the baby a her. That is because I feel totally different this time. I do have morning sickness, but I am not full on throwing up like I did with Jack. I also have sore girls which I didn't have with Jack. I am not nearly as tired which is pretty remarkable considering I am chasing around a toddler. My bets are on girl, although Jason is convinced it's another boy. Honestly? I don't care. I just want the baby to be healthy. Admittedly, last time, I desperately wanted a boy, but this time, I honestly am not biased. I will take whatever God has planned for me.

8 weeks 3 days

12 Minutes

2011-06-08T19:41:00.001-07:00

That is how long Jack cried tonight. See my last post as a reference.

12 minutes is better than 15, but it still sucks.

Suckage. Big time.

Feeling Guilty

2011-06-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

Last night was a rough night in our house. Jack would not go to bed. I started his usual bedtime routine at the normal time and by the time his regular "down" time came, he was wide awake. I waited and waited and waited and yet, he would not go to sleep (I rock him to sleep, I know, bad mom). At 8:00, I was so sick to my stomach from not eating that I had to put him down.

I knew it wouldn't take me more than 10 minutes to make something to eat and then eat, but still, I felt guilty. I didn't want him to cry that long but I had no choice. I had to eat otherwise, I was going to throw up.

Down in his crib he went and I was right, he cried. He was not a happy camper. I ate fast to try and limit the amount of time he cried and when I finally went in to pick him up, he was red faced. Secretly, I was hoping that he wouldn't cry the entire time and would lay down and go to sleep, but who am I kidding?

I tried again to rock him to sleep and no dice. So I then took him to bed with me. 9:00 came around and once again, I was sick. I had a toddler kicking me in the stomach and needed to rest. I couldn't get comfortable in bed.

What to do?

I made the hard choice and put him back in his crib. I very gently told him that "It's time to go night-night. Mommy loves you" and then I put him down. Once again, he cried. I layed down in misery and listened to him cry. This time, he wasn't hysterical. He was just annoyed. I am not 100% certain how long he cried, but I think it was about 15 minutes. Half the time he was quiet. He would get quiet for 3 or 4 minutes and then go "waaaaaah" and then be done with it.

I don't know how long this went on because I fell asleep. Now, you need to understand that I ALWAYS wake up when he cries, so I am pretty sure he went to sleep before I did.

Why do I feel guilty? Because I said I would NEVER do cry it out. Last night, I truly had no choice and I still feel guilty. Was he going to remember in the morning? Was he going to hate me? Is he going to be afraid of his crib?

He woke up as happy as normal. Smiling and playing. I still feel bad but I know he needs to learn to self-soothe. He's 16 months and still hasn't slept through the night. With a new baby coming, I cannot have a toddler in bed with me. I remember how uncomfortable I was with my last pregnancy and the thought of having a toddler in bed with me makes me more scared.

So what to do? Tonight, as much as it kills me, I am going to rock him almost to sleep and put him down in his crib drowsy. If he cries, I will go in every 5 minutes and comfort him but not pick him up.

I know a lot of people are hating this post right now, but you need to understand, he is old enough to have established sleep patterns. I can't continue on like this much longer, and neither can my husband. This is a hard choice for many reasons, but we will try this.

I am not going to let him get hysterical. If I feel he's reaching that point, I will pick him up. I know that I will still feel guilty. I probably will for quite some time.

Will this work? I don't think it will, but at this point, it's worth a try.

Sincerely,

Tired Momma

Jack is 16 Months

2011-06-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

I am a day early with this post, but my Dad arrives for a visit from the East coast tomorrow so I know I won't get a chance to update!

Jack Emmett, hello there big boy! This month has been pretty hectic for you, but in a good way.

Here are some things that you are up to lately:

* You got to take a cross-country trip earlier this month and you did great! You were such a good boy on the airplane. So good that many people commented that they didn't even hear or notice there was a toddler nearby. The time change affected you, but other than that, you did awesome.

* This past month you have been experiencing pretty severe separation anxiety. When I would try and leave you with anyone while back East, you would scream. Even if I left the room to go to the bathroom, you did NOT want Mommy gone.

* You have two top molars. They are still coming through, but they are about halfway. The bottom ones are a bit more pesky. They are swollen and painful but I haven't seen any sign of them! Maybe soon buddy.

* Because of the travel and teething, your sleep has been a bit disrupted. Mommy will work on that.

* You aren't talking a whole lot still, but you have become more interested in pointing and saying "Dat?" at objects. That is your way of saying "What's that?". It's so cute. Sometimes you will point to the same thing over and over again. I will slowly mouth the word to see if you can repeat it and you will just stare at my mouth and grin.

* You can identify both a nose and mouth. If I ask "Where is Mommy's nose?", you point right at it! Now I just need to convince you to point to your own face!

* You are eating more and more, although you certainly have your favorites. If it's pasta, ravioli or blueberries, you are sure to eat a TON! Mommy gave you a lemon slice just to see what you would do and surprise! You LOVED it. You wanted more. Funny boy!

* Mickey Mouse Clubhouse just might be your favorite thing ever. If you hear the Hotdog song, you will come running, no matter where you are in the house.

* More and more you sit and play with toys or read books for longer periods. You still would rather climb, explore and pull things off shelves, but you will sit for up to 10 minutes at a time and just play. Especially with your Fisher Price lawnmower.

Big boy, I am not looking forward to the 13th when I have to leave you for five days. I know you will have a blast with Daddy and Nana, but I sure will miss you! Don't do too many new things while I am gone.

I love you Jack Jack.

The Symptoms

2011-05-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

I have symptoms! I am very glad about this.

* Sore boobs - I didn't have them with Jack. I will take that as a good sign.
* Serious bloat - I am walking around with my pants unbuttoned. Tre sexy!
* Morning sickness - It's all day sickness actually. Time to break out the B6/Unisom combo.
* Fatigue - That could be because I am not sleeping well because Jack is not sleeping well.

I have my first OB appointment on June 10th. I am hoping for a good heartbeat and a healthy bean!

My baby is the size of a lentil bean right now (6 weeks 1 day). I am referring to him as my little lentil.

::Sigh:: I am in love already!

Baby Number Two

2011-05-22T09:12:00.001-07:00

I will be the first to admit that "adult" time in our house is rather, shall we say........limited. With Jason and I working different schedules, and a child that doesn't sleep, it makes it difficult to have much time together. The last time we did "the deed", it was on my cycle day 11. I don't chart, but I do keep track of my days on a calendar, just in case. I remember thinking "Oh, no problem, it's only day 11".

Fast forward to my time in New Hampshire. I was due to get my period the Monday I arrived. Nothing like Aunt Flo to ruin a vacation! When Monday and Tuesday both came and went with nada, I thought to myself "Eh, it's just stress from traveling and a death in the family. No worries!". Wednesday, nothing. Thursday, nothing. My mom and sisters and I happened to be out running errands, so I grabbed a test. Why not rule it out? Anyways, everyone knows that once you actually purchase a pregnancy test, your period will mysteriously arrive.

We got back to my Mom's house and I tested. As I was cleaning up the bathroom, I looked down and lo and behold. Positive. There was absolutely no doubt. Unlike other pregnancy tests I have taken, this one was very dark and very noticeable.

I walked around in shock for the rest of the day. I did make some time to call Jason and he was shocked, but very excited. His excitement made ME excited. I think my biggest worry was where we were going to put another baby in this tiny house. I was also worried how I would possibly love another child as much as I love Jack. I felt a little guilt about bringing another baby into the world and taking attention away from our son.

Please don't get me wrong. We knew we were going to have another baby someday. These thoughts were all ones that I had pondered, but at the moment I found out, they all came to the forefront.

When I woke up on Friday morning, the fears had all left me. I was now very excited. Was our baby going to be another boy? Or a girl? Would I have morning sickness this time? How would Jack react to a new baby?

This pregnancy is very very different from my pregnancy with Jack. That in itself worries me. I was terribly sick with Jack, had a ton of fatigue, and was ravenous all day. This time, I have nothing. Does that mean my baby is okay? I have to worry until June 10th when I have my first OB appointment.

In the meantime, today I am pregnant and I love my baby. Keep growing little one! And if you want to grace me with some symptoms, I will welcome them with open arms!

Life Changes

2011-05-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

Jack and I are back from our 11 day trip to the East Coast. What a whirlwind. I will post a longer entry later, but for now, two major life changes have occurred.

I am pregnant.

I am getting a new job.

Yikes! That was scary putting both of those out there.

I am nervous about being pregnant. Not to have another baby of course, but nervous because I have absolutely NO symptoms. That scares me. We are going to have to either move very shortly, or do some major renovations on our house to make room for baby number two. More to come on that.

I found out both of these things will back East which was difficult because my husband wasn't with me! I use him as my sounding board, and he wasn't readily available with me being in Northern Maine with no cell phone reception.

About the job. Eeek! It's my dream job. At a company I have wanted to work with for a year (since I graduated from college). I am in the process of negotiations still, but it appears that I will get the salary that I was hoping for. Which means in a few months, Jason will be able to quit work and be a SAHD.

I am still in shock over both of these things. I want to do a full post about what led me to believe I was pregnant in the first place along with all the details.

Baby Number Two
Estimated Due Date January 18th, 2012

Jack won't even be 2 yet! 2 under 2 here we come!

Surgery Success!

2011-05-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

After a month of anxious waiting, Jack had his surgery today. It went very well and we can stop worrying, at least about this. Here is a run-down of our day.

I woke up at 5:00 to get ready for the day. Jason stayed awake all night because of his schedule. Jack couldn't have any food or drink after midnight last night, so he was not a happy camper this morning.

With coffee cups in hand and the boy dressed in his jammies, we were out the door by 6:00. We arrived at the hospital at 6:15 and went through the whole check-in process. By 7:00 we were brought upstairs to Jack's room. The room is shared by four babies so it was a pretty tight fit. Jack was third in line for the same procedure, so we had some waiting to do. The doctor does surgeries based on age, so there were two babies younger than Jack who were first. After dressing in hospital scrubs (too cute!) and going through the weighing process (23.2 pounds) and having his vitals checked, we were off to the playroom!

Jack played for about an hour. It didn't matter that he was hungry or tired. He had a blast playing and running around with the other kiddos. It certainly didn't hurt that they had Disney Junior on the tv either.

Can I just say how awesome Legacy Emanuel is? It's a children's hospital with its own ER and staff of doctors and nurses who are wonderful with children. They treat you like family and every room and waiting area is really catered to children. It made the whole process a lot less scary for both Jack and me (and Jason too, although he won't admit that he was worried).

By 8:00, Jack was very tired so we made our way back to his room for some quiet. At that time, the nurse came in and dosed him with some Tylenol and some Verced (like Valium). It was explained to us that the Verced would make him relax and not be scared as much when it was time to carry him off to surgery. My little Jack didn't even throw up when he got his medicine. He happily opened his mouth (probably because he was starving by that time) and drank it right up! Then we were wheeled downstairs for the procedure. I held Jack since he was starting to get loopy from the medication.

Being the freak that I am, I took some pictures. Below is one of him all doped up and happy. Isn't he funny? Apparently he thought Daddy was pretty entertaining.

Here I am holding him. He looks a little "tired" in this picture. Well wouldn't you if you had a dose of Valium?

I look like Hell, but you can just ignore. I have been stress eating for the past few weeks, but that is for another post.

The anesthesiologist came and introduced himself and asked the regular questions. I explained that I get seriously nauseous with any form of anesthetic, so they wanted to watch Jack carefully. Then the ENT came and answered any questions that we had. After that, Jack was carried off for the procedure. Considering that he was well medicated, he was happy and smiling when they brought him back.

Jason and I sat in the waiting room, which was awful by the way. The waiting itself, not the actual waiting room. 15 minutes was all it took for the procedure. Dr. Hertler came to us and said the surgery went great although he had to suction Jack's ears because there was quite a bit of pus and mucus behind the drums. Isn't it amazing? He is on antibiotics for an ear infection as we speak and he still had the pus. That just goes to show you just how important this surgery was for him to have.

We needed to wait until Jack came out of the anesthesia - which is just a laughing gas mixed with something else - and was lucid enough to recognize us before we could be excused to Recovery. That was about another 15 minutes of waiting. Both Jason and I knew he was coming due to the wailing we could hear down the hall. I guess the anesthesia makes them a little disoriented when they first come to. Plus, it probably didn't help that he was being carried by a stranger.

Holding my little man for the first time after was such a relief! I was so glad that he did well and we could finally go upstairs to Recovery and Snuggle (that is my made up name for the department).

Jack felt a little yucky when he woke up, but mostly from being so hungry. He sucked down a small bottle of glucose water and then some apple juice when we got back upstairs. The nurse okayed him for other foods, so out came the bag of snacks! In between crying jags (this is totally normal for a child coming out of anesthesia) he would eat a few Cheerios and drink some milk.

After two rounds of vital signs and 45 minutes of snuggling and waiting, we were free to go home! Armed with our ear drops, instructions for after surgery and a tired baby, we went to the car.

And of course, because he was exhausted, Jack fell asleep on the way home. Meanwhile, the starving husband and I got breakfast and then came home and crashed on the couch.

Jack feels great! He ate a good lunch and now he's down for a nap. I can already tell he's hearing better because he is "talking" using totally different sounds than I am used to - if that makes any sense.

It really is answered prayers. After all the anxiety and worry, I am hoping that finally Jack will start to feel like a normal kiddo.

Jack is 15 Months Old

2011-05-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

How time flies! Jack, you are 15 months old today.

Boy you crack me up. Here are some of the things that you are up to this month:

* Words: You say "mama" and "dada" still as well as some other words. You say "Dat?" for What's that? And "gee" for doggie. And "ela" for hello. And "ah don" for all done. Okay really? I was starting to worry that you weren't saying a lot until I listened and realized that you were saying A LOT! The words may not come out perfectly, but we know what you mean.

* You can sign more and milk. We are working on water and all done for you. It's cute to see you eat your favorite food and when you want more, you sign.

* Tomorrow is your surgery for your ear tubes. I am nervous for you buddy, but I am also looking forward to seeing you feel a lot better.

* You actively wave bye-bye and hello. It's so cute to watch your chubby little hand waggle up and down.

* One of your favorite things to do is climb. I try and take you to the playground at least once a week during the weekends. As the weather gets better, I plan to take you more and more. You still haven't mastered the slide. You want to run down it rather than sit on your butt and slide down.

* You are doing so awesome with your eating! You are eating more and more every day. You aren't a huge meat lover, but there are some foods that are definitely your favorite: Peanut butter, turkey, blueberries and pretty much any carb.

* You are learning how to drink from a big boy cup. You can tip the cup back all by yourself. Sometimes this results in a shower and Mommy having to change your shirt, but hey! You are learning.

* We are going on an airplane trip in a few days. Be a good boy during the flight okay?

* Sleeping is still difficult for you. With six ear infections since February, it's hard for you to find your groove. But, on the nights you feel good, you go down to bed around 7 and then stay down in your crib anywhere until 9 to 10. One of these days you will start sleeping better. Until then, you are still in bed with Mommy.

* It's time for a new haircut! This will make two already. You have Daddy's hair because it grows so fast.

* You are now learning how to put the shapes in your shape sorter. You will sit and try and get them in the holes for quite a while. And you are discovering that some toys fit in other toys. I will often find you stacking toys inside one another. It's always fun shoving things where they don't belong! Like in the trash can or recycling bin.

* Um can you stop growing please? I swear to God you grew over night. I put a size 12 month pair of pants on you that fit and now, out of nowhere you are wearing high waters! You have super duper long legs.

Jack Jack, we love you. Grammie and Auntie Rebecca and cousin Greyson can't wait to see you again! Your Great Memere would have loved to see you again, but she's in Heaven now. How proud she would be of you.

Little man, you steal my heart every day. Some days are more trying than others, but at the end of the day, I love you more. You are showing your personality so much more these days and I love it! How independent you have become. Love you buddy!

Children are Great Distractions

2011-04-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful for my Jack today. He has kept me going when I just want to cry.

My Memere passed away this morning. She lived a very long life but yet, it is never easy saying goodbye.

I was going to fly back East on the 8th for a vacation, but now I will be going for a funeral.

Keeping up with a toddler, chasing him around the house, getting him fed and changed has been a welcome distraction. I just hope I can keep it together this week at work while preparing for the trip.

Je t'aime mémère. Vous allez nous manquer.

Discouraged and Depressed

2011-04-25T15:36:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while because to be honest, I have been depressed. To the point that I am being a hermit and not wanting to be social or chatty at all. I am avoiding friends, some family and quite frankly, have been incredibly crabby. I am almost positive my coworkers are probably getting the brunt of my grumpiness.

What changed? Nothing really. It just seems like a lot of things in my life are in chaos right now. My son has another ear infection, my grandmother is very ill and probably isn't going to live much longer, and I am anxious about our upcoming trip back East. Add to that some financial stress and work stress and it's about all I can take. I am not sure what my breaking point is, but right now, it feels close.

Maybe it's time for an increase in my Celexa. I still see my counselor every week and she's great. She helps me cope with a lot of my issues. I often don't feel like I have anyone to talk to, so she's really my outlet. I can only dump on my husband so much before it becomes detrimental to our marriage. And since our marriage is pretty good right now, I don't want to ruin that.

Jack has ear tubes put in next week and it can't come soon enough. At first I was nervous and scared and now I am actually embarrassed to say that I am looking forward to it. He has literally had back to back ear infections since his birthday and he deserves some relief. I deserve some relief since I get up with him at night when he's in pain and I give him his medication and I make sure he's comforted. I realize that lack of sleep comes with parenting, but it's getting to the point that I can't even function some days.

I am overwhelmed, discouraged and depressed.

Boy, this is such a sunshiney post. I hope I have something good to blog about in the next few days. Anything at this point would be great.

Mega Tantrum

2011-04-11T15:20:00.001-07:00

Didn't I previous blog that Jack doesn't seem to have tantrums? Because he had one this weekend. A huge one. Mega. Epic. And of course, it was while we were at church.

I brought Jack to the nursery and not even 15 minutes later I got paged (big shocker). So I brought him upstairs but couldn't keep him in the sanctuary because he was being chatty and loud. So we went to the "cry" room which was curiously occupied by a couple of old ladies. Jack started being fussy, so I brought him next door to a quieter room in the hopes that I could get him down for a nap. Cue mega tantrum. He did NOT want to be held or rocked. I put him down and he started to climb the stairs. I let him for a little while, but since he hasn't mastered the art of coming back down, I picked him up. That pissed him off. He started screaming.

When I say screaming, I mean SCREAMING!!!!! I am surprised that the people in the church didn't hear him. He literally screamed and kicked for 20 minutes. He screamed so much that he made himself hoarse. Having never gone through this before, the only thing I could do was talk softly to him and just rock him and say "It's okay" over and over. Was that the wrong thing to do? He finally calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. While he was falling asleep, he would have his eyes closed and every so often cry. Almost like he needed to make his point known that he was crying and did I get the message? It would have been slightly comical had it not been pathetic.

Parents of toddlers: What do you do when your kid is throwing an epic fit? I couldn't just put him down and walk away. We were in a public place (not like I could do at home) and I didn't want him falling down the flight of stairs that were nearby. Do you just hold them and shush them? Hold them and do nothing?

I felt like a bad mom and I am sure the people who could overhear thought I was the worst mother ever. "Geez, she can't even control her own kid".

At this point, I hate to say it, but I think we are going to have to stop going to church for a while. I have tried numerous times to leave Jack in the nursery, but it doesn't work. My mother-in-law keeps telling me that he will get used to being in there, but every week it's the same story. He cries, they page me, I get him and then miss the entire service. It doesn't really benefit either of us if I am not going to be able to hear the message.

Church falls during Jack's mid-morning nap and there isn't any way I can rearrange that nap. Already thought of that and it's not an option. Him being up in the sanctuary doesn't really work because he's loud and I don't want to disturb others. I don't have options to get him a sitter because my mother-in-law and I go to church together. My only other option is my aunt and she goes to church on Sunday mornings too.

Maybe when he gets a little older and doesn't have that mid-morning nap and possibly not as much separation anxiety can he come to church with me. I hate to lose that worship time, but I have to do what's right for us.

Big F You Ears!

2011-04-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

See a theme here? I seem to post about Jack's ears a lot. Sorry about that. It's a source of heartache these days.

Jack had his appointment with the Ear Nose and Throat specialist yesterday and he said that Jack is definitely a candidate for tubes. Tubes were one of the three options he laid out on the table:

1 - Do nothing. This option is not good because of how often Jack gets infections and how often he has to be on antibiotics.

2 - Treat with antibiotics until he turns 2 and then reevaluate. See number 1.

3 - Tubes

We opted for the tubes, mainly because the doctor thinks the constant ear infections are affecting Jack's hearing and speech. He mentioned that they like to see toddlers of Jack's age say more than just Mama and Dada consistently. While Jack says the occasional work, he doesn't say them consistently. He can hear, but with the constant mucus in his ears, it's probably muffled and no doubt painful.

While the doctor was checking Jack, he said "What ear was the one he had his last infection in?" We told him it was his left. "Because his right ear also has an infection". Jesus H.

That means in the span of 3 months, his ear infections have been virtually constant. He no sooner gets over one infection that he gets another one, usually in the opposite ear. He isn't even finished the antibiotics from our last trip to Urgent Care for goodness sakes.

That leads me to believe that no amount of antibiotics are going to work on this kid. I called the pediatrician today and they wanted to see Jack. When she checked his ears, she mentioned that she didn't know how he wasn't miserable because his right ear was very infected.

The only (and possibly last) option at this point is a shot of antibiotics rather than an oral. So that is what Jack got today: A big fat injection in his chubby baby leg.

The chance that this will work? 50%. 50 measly percent.

He goes back in about a week to check the status of his ears.

In the meantime, we wait for his surgery. I am feeling pretty down about this. Yes, he needs it, but that still doesn't mean I am scared and worried. This blows.

Every Day Life

2011-04-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

Now that we have a toddler, I thought it would be fun (for me) to post not only what our house looks like on a typical weekend day, but also what our schedule entails.

Be kind people. I am being completely honest in this post and with these pictures. We have a small house, so we deal with the baby mess as best as we can.

Our schedule on a typical Saturday:

6:00 am: Rise and shine! This is sleeping in to me. I usually am up at 5:00 am during the week. Jack usually gets up around this time and starts jumping on the bed or on me. I drag my heiney out of bed and while my cup of coffee brews, I get Jack some milk.

6:05 to 7:00: I wake up with my coffee and Jack plays (gets into trouble). We read books, I chase him and try to get him to not play in the catbox. I usually throw a load of laundry in the washer.

7 ish: Jack gets breakfast. He is not extremely hungry first thing in the morning so he usually munches on some fruit or a breakfast bar.

7:30: Jack gets fussy and it's time for his morning nap. He usually only is awake for 90 minutes to two hours in the morning before he needs to snooze again. While he goes down for a quick nap, I get a shower.

8:00: Jack is up from his nap and he is ready for breakfast number 2. He eats more at this meal.

8:30: Clean up from breakfast and Jack gets dressed for the day. I usually take the time to blow dry my hair and if I am feeling really ambitious, I might put on a smidge of makeup. Another load of laundry usually goes in around now.

9:00 or so: Every other week, Jack and I go grocery shopping. He really loves this errand. One of his favorite things to do is people watch, so we drive to the store, I grab a coffee and do our shopping. If it's an "off week", we will do something else fun for him. Usually a nice walk in the stroller (if the weather is decent), a trip to OMSI so he can play in the baby area, or whatever strikes our fancy.

10:00: Home from the grocery store. While Jack "helps" put away the groceries, I get him his cup of milk.

10:15: Jack is usually pretty tired by now. Sometimes he will stay up for about 3 hours, but usually it's 2 before he needs to recharge his batteries. Nap time! He will stay down for 30 minutes so I can grab some breakfast, clean something in the house, fold laundry, or God forbid.....Do nothing! I occasionally will read a magazine and just veg.

11ish: Jack is up from his nap and we play for a while.

11:30: Lunch time!

12:00: After clean up, it's play, play, play, chase, chase, chase, read, play, play.

2:00: Nap time! 30 minutes of freedom. Very rarely, Jack will say asleep for more than 30 minutes. He can surprise me though and sleep for an hour.

2:30: Up from nap and it's snack time!

3:00: This is about the time Daddy gets up. Usually, it's me going in the bedroom and saying "You getting up soon?". He begrudingly gets out of bed.

3:30: While Jason drinks his coffee and plays with the boy, I take advantage of a few minutes that I can put away any errant laundry, or clean something in the bedroom.

4:00: Jason and I share parenting duties and play with Jack. Me more so than him, but he does help out if I ask. Play, play, play, etc. etc. etc.

5:00 - 5:30: I prepare dinner. If Jack is absolutely starving, I will give him a light snack. During the week he eats dinner at 5:00, but on the weekends I try to hold him off so we can eat together as a family. This doesn't always work so I might end up giving him his dinner separately.

6:00: Dinner time for the adults. We eat, I quickly clean up and put away any leftovers.

6:30: Bath time for the boy! This seems early, but since Jack hasn't had a late afternoon nap, he gets really fussy by now. I found out that it was easier to not give him a late afternoon nap because he wouldn't go to sleep at a reasonable hour but still wake up damn early. It works better to put him to bed early instead. 6:45: Out of the bath. Clean diaper, lotion, jammies, get crib ready. We read stories, have a bottle and sing songs. In that exact order.

7:00: Jack is usually snoozing and he goes into his crib. He will sleep in his crib for anywhere from 1 hour to sometimes 4. It depends on what he feels like.

8:15 or so: Mommy takes a book to bed. The husband will be up for several more hours. I read for as long as I feel like, but I usually am exhausted.

9:00: Lights out for this Momma!

Now that you have seen a typical day, here is our typical mess.

The living room in the morning. I usually have the tv on (yeah, I know, bad mom alert). At least it's not soap operas though. On the weekend, it's Food Network. Maybe Jack will grow up to be a chef. The toys aren't everwhere yet. Notice the sippy cup of milk on the coffee table. Look! It's Jack's room. He has recently discovered how to open the toybox and pull all his toys out and them slam the lid. It's cute, until he does it so much that all you hear is BANG........BANG..........BANG! This is our living room at lunchtime. There's that sippy cup again! Jack is eating in his highchair (see him peeking over the back?) and the toys are everywhere. It really doesn't look that bad but you can't see the other side where all the books have been simultaneously removed from the shelf. Here is our kitchen in the late afternoon. Two liter bottles of sparkling water have become play things. And the magnet toys on the fridge are strewn about. Some of them are probably in the recycling bin. Discarded paper towel tube is on the floor. Jack likes to yell into it. The dishes are done (thankfully) and sit in the dish strainer. And that would be a load of laundry in the dryer. I was in a baking mood one day and there are bags of muffins and cookies on the counter.

All in all, it's not horrible. Just a little cluttered. I didn't have the guts to post Jason's computer area. It's a disaster, straight up. I am embarrassed to have anyone over to our house. I keep the rest of the house relatively clean, but Jason's area is a hot mess.

Jack's Trip to Urgent Care

2011-04-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

I hope this post doesn't end up being super duper long.

On Monday when I picked Jack up from childcare, Karen mentioned that he didn't seem like himself and only wanted to be held all day. He hadn't eaten a whole lot and only was interested in milk. When we got home, I noticed he was warm. I took his armpit temperature and it was 99.8. That is pretty high for a kiddo that doesn't get fevers. As soon as I saw the number pop up, I knew I was going to be taking him in.

For the past few days, I had a suspicion that his ear infection hadn't gone away, or he had another one. His sleep never got better from his last infection and he wasn't napping well. I gave him some Advil to help bring his fever down. Since it was too late to go to his regular pediatrician, we made a trip up the street to urgent care. It literally is a mile from our house. Convenient!

The wait was about 2 hours so the man at the admit desk said we could come back at 5:30 rather than wait in a crowded waiting room for that long. I was relieved by this because the clientele was errrrr......How do you say shady in a politically correct way?

Jack and I drove back home and he quickly had dinner and I ran him a bath. I knew it would be late by the time we got home so I wanted him all ready to go in his jammies. I called my mother-in-law and she agreed to meet us up there. I was relieved since I didn't want to be by myself.

When we returned to urgent care, most of the people were gone and we were brought back relatively quickly. The very nice medical assistant weighed Jack and then took his temperature. Even after getting some baby Advil, it was still 101.1. Again, for a child who doesn't get fevers, I was a little shocked. Jack got a tiny hospital gown to change into and then quickly fell asleep.

When the Physician Assistant finally came in the room, he greeted us and immediately, turned into Jerky Jerkerson. I gave him Jack's history of ear infections and explained he had just gotten through with his last round of antibiotics a week ago.

JJ (Jerky Jerkerson): Well what didn't get better from the last time?

Me: Do you mean his symptoms? Well, his sleep never got better. He's waking up a lot and generally fussy.

JJ: No, you aren't understanding. What didn't get better?

Me: I am not understanding your question. Can you explain what you mean?

JJ: Huff. Never mind. What are his symptoms now?

This back and forth crap went on for a while. He checked Jack's ears and sure enough, red rotten infection.

He gave me the lecture about not giving children antibiotics for ear infections and yada yada. Now, I realize that when children are not symptomatic, doctors are opting not to treat them with medicine. That makes sense to me. But, like my pediatrician says, if they are symptomatic, miserable, their sleep is affected and they aren't eating, why WOULDN'T we treat them? The PA told me that the main reason that most parents want their children treated for antibiotics is because they were missing too much work and it was an inconvenience to them to see thier children sick.

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Did you just stare blankly at this? When he told me that, I sure stared blankly at him. The only words that came out of my mouth were "What?!?" I explained that it had nothing to do with me missing work and everything to do with my son feeling better.

The PA backtracked and said that since Jack has a prior history of ear infections that he thought that antibiotics were the way to go. That's right you jerk. After arguing with him about medication, he said that wanted to put Jack on Amoxicillin. I explained that particular medication does nothing to help Jack's infections. He responds well to Omnicef. The PA didn't listen and left the room with "Let me consult some of my colleagues".

20 minutes later he was back and explained that he had called Oregon Health Sciences University consult service and everyone agreed that medication and Jack not responding had nothing to do with bad luck. They thought that it had to do with the anatomy of his ears and no medication would probably be all that helpful. Sigh.

So after leaving with a prescription for Augmentin (so much for the Omnicef), we were off. An hour later my child was home, asleep and I was standing in line filling a prescription. Have no fear, my mother-in-law was watching him.

Fast forward to Wednesday. Jack is not responding to the medication. He's fussy and running another fever. I call his regular pediatrician and her nurse says "Why did they give you Augmentin? He was just on Augmentin?". Blah blah blah, more unimportant details. Blah blah blah.

Jack is now on Omnicef and has a consult scheduled with an ear nose and throat doctor. He is doing much better now, but he still isn't sleeping great. I hope we have some answers this week. I also hope he starts eating and sleeping better. My poor daycare provider is probably exhausted since he hasn't been napping well.

Please pray for our family. I know that ear tubes are no big deal. I also know that tubes might not be the way to go for Jack. I just want my son to feel better.

14 Months Old

2011-04-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

You are 14 months old today Buggy! It's been a rough month for you. Not that you can help it. You have had two ear infections this month, a trip to the urgent care and a bad cold. We are going to get those ears under control little man.

Jack, you have quite the personality! This month you started doing a few new things.

* When you see others dance or clap, you follow along. It's so cute to see you clap your chubby little hands! You bob your head back and forth when you see Mom do it.

* In the car, you are starting to entertain yourself. You have complete conversations with people in cars and giggle and smile really big. I get quite a kick out of peeking at you in my mirror.

* You are starting to talk a little more. You say "all done" now. It's only happened a couple of times, but it came out clear as day. You also say "dah" a lot. It means several things, but usually it means "what's that".

* You point and are starting to point at things to signal what you want. Yay! I have seen you point at your cup of milk which is very convenient for me.

* Your favorite book is still "Little Feet Love". Books are probably your favorite toy in general. You happily pull them off your shelf and just sit and "read" for a while.

* Boy do you have some energy. Rather than play with toys, you would much rather run around the house and get into things. Shelves, drawers and doors are your best friend. You were pretty sad when we started locking up the drawers and cabinets. You can't play in them anymore. Sorry buddy.

* When someone shakes their head no at you or says "no", you shake your little head back.

* The temper tantrums seemed to have slowed down for now. Every once in a while, you get mad and stomp your little feet when we pull you away from something you shouldn't be doing.

* Some of your favorite foods are the family spagetthi sauce with penne pasta, pears, peaches, Cheerios, and peanut butter. You are certainly a carb lover, just like your momma.

This month has been the most fun in terms of the things you are doing and learning. It is so much fun watching you grow and see your little brain calculating and thinking. We love you so much Jack Emmett!

Darn Ears

2011-03-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's confirmed: Jack has his fifth ear infection. Next up? Consult with the Ear Nose and Throat Doctor. The pediatrician thinks he is a good candidate for tubes, but it's all up to what the ENT Doctor thinks.

I want what's best for Jack, but the prospect of him having surgery scares me. Yes, it's a routine surgery, but he's my child and I am going to worry. I get sick every time I am given anesthesia, so I worry that Jack is going to be the same. I worry that he's going to be in pain and can't help him. The worry is never-ending.

His appointment is on April 7th and Jason is going to take the day off work so we can go together.

My next post is going to be about our trip to Urgent Care on Monday. What a joy that was (note my sarcasm).

What the Boy Eats

2011-03-26T19:54:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks, Jack has really turned a corner with his eating. Ever since we switched him to whole milk, he is eating more and drinking less. I have to be honest, I was nervous about the switch from formula to milk, but honestly, it's been great! He doesn't miss formula at all and took to the taste of milk immediately. Some days are better than others.

Some days Jack will eat a TON and some days he picks like a bird. He has stopped eating most purees. I still have a few left in the cupboard so he gets a container every once in a while, but ever since he started being able to feed himself finger foods, he doesn't want to be fed with a spoon.

Jack normally eats about three meals and two (sometimes three) snacks. This might seem like a lot to some people (two snacks rather than one), but he really needs to eat every couple of hours.

During the weekend, when Jack is at home with me, this is what a typical day of eating looks like:

Breakfast #1: An organic cereal bar and fruit

Breakfast #2/snack: Some dry Cheerios and yogurt or more fruit

Lunch: Peanut butter and all fruit jam, cheddar crackers and either a fruit or a veggie (peas or green beans are his favorite).

Snack: Annie's Organic bunny snacks or the occasional homemade cookie or banana bread

Dinner: Pasta with sauce and a veggie. Or turkey with a veggie and bread

You can see that my child loves fruit. A lot. Over the course of one weekend, he went through an entire half pint of blueberries on his own.

I always serve water or milk with meals and snack. He loves to drink water from a cup (no lid) and he takes about 6 ounces of water total throughout the day.

Now, here is where I get honest. I try and feed Jack organic food where I can. There are some things that I don't buy organic (bananas and milk and usually not meat) because I don't buy organic for Jason and I. But, I think it's important to feed Jack that way. He doesn't eat organic at daycare. However, I am not perfect. He has gotten the occasional Oreo or bite of my donut from Starbucks. It sounds slightly hypocritical, but I think it's okay to feed him a few junky things once in a while if he eats pretty good the rest of the time.

My mom works on a dairy farm (really, she does), and she told me not to buy organic milk because all that means is that the cows when they are sick and getting antibiotics don't have their milk used in the general supply. I should do some reading to see if that's true because I might change my mind about buying organic. I don't right now but if the cows are getting gross feed, I might want to buy organic. In Oregon, you can buy milk that is hormone free, which I already do purchase.

I also try not to feed him foods that are full of added sugar or high fructose corn syrup. That is why he gets all fruit jam and organic boxed things. Those typically don't have added junk. If I feed him a cheese cracker, I can at least feel okay that it's organic.

While Jack eats a variety of foods, he doesn't eat a huge volume overall. Like I said before, some days he picks like a bird. Dinner is his smallest meal volume-wise. He sometimes only eats a couple of bites. I don't push him though. If he is getting veggies and fruits and protein, I am happy!

What food does Jack totally hate? I try to feed him everything that we are eating (if we happen to be eating together), but he isn't a huge fan of beets or pickles. I guess that is probably not that unusual for a baby. He has eaten some really weird foods that I was surprised that he liked: Black olives, mushrooms (both canned and fresh), lettuce?!?, coffee, and beer. The coffee and beer were from my husband and I was not too thrilled. He only got a finger taste though so I guess it could be worse. Some kids eat poop after all.

The final thing I want to touch on is mealtime. Since my husband works swing shift and I don't cook during the week, Jack eats a different meal than I do. He gets a good healthy meal and I find that I usually eat leftovers or a frozen dinner (I know, I know). I am on Weight Watchers, so I don't want to feed him my "diet food". I much prefer to give him a separate dinner and I don't mind cooking different foods for him.

I would love to hear what you are feeding your little ones and what food strategies you have. Leave a comment!

Woe Is Me

2011-03-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

I am feeling sorry for myself lately. If you read my blog, you realize that I hardly complain about my husband or our funky schedules. Until today. It's really wearing on me. Some background: I work a normal (mostly) schedule of Monday through Friday from about 7:00am to 3:00pm. My husband works Monday through Friday from 3:00pm to 11:00pm. We have held this schedule for years and I am used to it.

What this means is that I don't see my husband at all, or very little during the week. Maybe a few minutes in the morning when we are ships passing in the night. Since he sleeps in on the weekends, we only get to see each other for a few hours on the weekend.

It sucks.

I am feeling more and more like a single parent these days. I get Jack up in the morning, get him ready, drive him to daycare, pick him up, feed him dinner, give him bath, put him to bed and deal with the whole sleep issue. I do all of the housework. Really, all of it. The only thing that my husband does is take the trash cans down to the curb. He doesn't take out the trash, I do that. Often, he will make himself a meal at night (when Jack and I are sleeping), and leave the dishes in the sink for me to do.

I am tired. I have a huge amount of respect for single moms. They work so hard. I am feeling a touch of that lately. In all fairness, single moms have it harder than me. I at least have a tiny bit of help on the weekends, and we do share about each other's day and are a team when it comes to parenting in general.

My husband goes out with his friends every Sunday night. I would prefer he stay home so he can have more time with his son since he only sees him for a few hours a week. But, I say nothing. It's important to him to spend some time with his buddies and I respect that. But again, I am tired, and *I* want some time with *my* friends.

This is the life I knew when I got pregnant. We have had this same schedule for years, but occasionally, it wears on me.

I feel like an insensitive bitch because I know someone very close to me that has her husband leave for a whole different state every Monday and doesn't come home until Friday. And I never once hear her complain.

I want to have dinner with my husband and our child like most families do. I would love to be able to clean the house together on the weekends, or go out to breakfast. Or heck, maybe take the baby to the zoo before 4:00 in the afternoon as a family. I do these things alone. I take Jack on outings all the time.

Yes, I sound like a cry baby. I will be over it soon. Maybe.

Language

2011-03-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to post about Jack's talking, or lack thereof, for a while, but I didn't want to sound like a lunatic. Even though I still will sound like a lunatic, I don't care.

Jack doesn't talk much and I am concerned. He mostly babbles and uses "baby talk". I know I shouldn't compare babies, but I know lots of other babies his age that are using tons of words. Jack only says a few things: Mama, Dada, Up, Nana, Hello (sounds like Ella when he says it), and some random other things.

Should a 13.5 month old be saying more? I guess it depends right? I need to stop.

Instead of lamenting about his lack of language, I will focus on some pretty awesome things. The other day, Jack was looking at pictures with Nana and he pointed at a picture of himself. Nana said "Jack, that's you. Jack." Jack looked back at my mother-in-law and said, clear as day, "Jack". Good Lord, he knows his name! Here we thought he was going to think his name was "Bug" or "No".

Karen, Jack's daycare provider has been practicing some sign language with him. She did it with her own boys, so she does it with her daycare kids too. I actually didn't know she did this until Thursday when I picked him. She asked me if I practice sign with him. I admitted that I tried a few months ago but gave up. Maybe I shouldn't have, because he knows how to sign. He signs "more" and "milk" when he's at her house. Back the truck up! Now that I know he can do this, I started practicing those words with him at home. I also picked up a baby sign book and am trying other words like "Mommy", "Daddy" and "water".

I would appreciate comments on what words your kids know and how old they were when they first started talking.

Still Here!

2011-03-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy couple of weeks and I haven't had time to update my blog. Sorry gang.

Here is what we have been up to:

* Jack has ANOTHER ear infection, so we are working on getting him healthy. Augmentin seems to be working, but honestly, I am so over these darn infections. I am sure my little guy is very much done with them too.

* Sleep is going GREAT! He is starting to sleep at longer and longer intervals. He goes down in his crib for the first put down of the night. Jack sleeps in his crib until he wakes up. This is usually anywhere from 2 hours to 3.5 hours like last night! Progress!

* I am planning my trip back East in May. I need to purchase plane tickets and a new stroller so I can tote this guy through airports easier. I am looking forward to the trip, but anxious about certain things, like keeping a toddler entertained for a day of sitting on airplanes and then long drives from Maine to New Hampshire.

That is really about it. Nothing too extraordinary. When I get more than 5 minutes of "me" time, I will update this thing again.

Sleep Update

2011-03-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

It's time for a sleep update! I officially started this sleep "training" program:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I say *I* because let's face it, Jason isn't helping. Jack is in bed with me since Jason works swing. And training is in parentheses because I think of sleep training in a negative term. This program seems much more gentle to me.

Nights one through four: This is honestly not hard. Jack is used to eating and then being put down awake. This is not a change nor outside of the ordinary.

Night five (Thursday): This was the start of the second portion of the program. I was dreading this portion. The first night wasn't so horrible. Yes, the boy was up many times. At one point, he cried a little bit, but in my arms. He did catch on pretty quickly that he wasn't going to get his bottle though.
I woke up the next morning feeling optimistic and not entirely exhausted.

Night six (Friday): Ugh, this night sucked. Jack had a hard time this night for some reason. He was up a lot. And cried at one point for about 15 minutes. I did not get very good sleep at all. It was so bad that I literally felt like a zombie the next day. I still tried to go about the day like normal. We went to OMSI in the morning and I got my hair cut on Saturday evening.

Night seven and eight (Saturday and Sunday): These nights were pretty bad. But not because Jack woke up a lot. It's because Jack was/is sick and he's not able to get comfortable in bed. He woke up a lot but not for a bottle. Just to be snuggled and find a comfortable position. Lesson learned: Need to run the humidifier and give the baby some medicine before bed.

Night nine (Monday): Technically, this is the night I was supposed to start the third stage, BUT, my kiddo is sick. He is getting over a bad cold so I don't want to implement a new stage. The article talks about these types of situation and I didn't want to go backwards. As a result, we will be still on the second stage until Jack is better.

All in all? It's getting better. Jack still wakes up, but it's less frequent and he's not cranky about it. He doesn't have a bottle fro 11pm until about 6am the next morning. He's not starving. I know this because if I give him a full bottle in the morning, he only drinks about 3 ounces.

What I have mostly learned: I could have started this sooner. I now know that Jack waking up and getting a bottle was his form of comfort to go back to sleep. That's okay though. We are fixing the situation now. Apparently he didn't NEED those calories like I thought he did.

I feel slightly guilty about all this, but you know what? It was no harm to him, just to me. And I can say that I am excited to get more than about 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. One day, that shall come!

Bodily Functions

2011-03-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

Two stories for you.

Last Sunday, I gave Jack his bath as normal. I usually don't put him down naked after bath because, well, I know better. Cold air + Naked baby = Dirty carpet. He wanted down and I thought "What the heck?". Big mistake. I put him down and said "Come on Jack, let's get our jammies on". He wasn't following, so I turned around to see where he was. He was peeing on the carpet. So what do I do? Well, what any sane mother would do. Went for the camera. I have a picture as proof, but since people are on the interwebs are creepy, I won't be posting it. Lesson learned.

Last night, Jack had his bath (see a pattern here?) and as I was washing my face, I hear him farting in the tub. That in itself is pretty funny. I didn't think much of it since he does it all the time. Just as I was kneeling down to soap him up, I hear him toot a slightly different toot and up floats a turd. Ack! In the tub! I never have moved so fast in my life. I yanked him out of the tub so damn fast. Now, I was getting him ready for bed (quickest.bath.ever) I was thinking to myself "How in the world am I going to get a turd out of the tub?". I don't have any paper cups, I sure as hell wasn't going to pick it up with my bare hands, and I didn't think a paper towel would really do the job. I rummaged through my cupboards and found a plastic Christmas container. Good enough! Before I scooped the poo out of the tub I took a picture for evidence. Wanna see?

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Haha! I bet you scrolled down didn't you? I didn't really take a picture you weirdos. Pee on the floor is one thing but poop in the tub is another.

I've reached a Mommy Milestons. Two bodily function accidents in one week! It only took him 13 months, but I officially have a tub-pooer.

For the record, my husband was conveniently not home for either event. Lucky me got to clean up both times. Golly gee.

13 Months Old

2011-03-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

Wow, I thought 12 months would be an eye-opener, but for some reason, 13 months is more so. Yikes. I didn't even realize that today Jack was 13 months old until I typed out the date for the first time. Maybe once you get past the year mark, it doesn't seem as.......concrete?

Kiddo, look how big you are! So handsome!

You are doing a few new things these past couple of weeks. You are now throwing mini-tantrums. It's not terrible yet, but it's still not fun. When I take you away from something you are interested in (usually it's something you shouldn't be playing with), you screech or throw a fit. I try and tell you "Dangerous" or "Please don't play with that", but you don't care.

You are starting to be very independent. Every now and then you will be content to sit and play with toys, but usually, you are more interested in exploring and climbing.

You are officially on whole milk and eating more! The milk transition was easier than I was expecting it to be which is great! With the milk transition, the eating became a little better as well. You are eating more at each meal now. Grapes, the family spaghetti sauce, and any bread product are your current favorites. You will chow down on grapes like they are the best thing on the planet (which they certainly are!). And you who used to hate any tomato product will stuff spaghetti into your mouth like it's your last meal.

Running is how you prefer to move these days. You are a pro walker and have started bouncing and jumping and RUNNING rather than walking. Thank goodness you haven't had any bad falls yet. Let's hope that continues!

You still aren't sleeping through the night, but we are working on that (crosses fingers). Maybe by this time next month we will have made some progress.

It's so cute to watch you stack your Legos together and put your shapes into your shape sorter. You still need a little help, but you are getting really good at it!

No new words yet, but you certainly do listen intently when we play with the See and Say and make animal sounds. The cow and turkey are your favorite.

People can still be a little intimidating to you Jack, but I swear, you are a closet flirt. You hide behind my knee for a few minutes but then peek out and smile. Once you warm up to a stranger, it's like you are best friends for life! My little ladies man!

Jack Emmett, oh how we adore you. Keep making Mommy and Daddy smile!