38 Week Appointment

I realize that I never updated after my 37 week appointment. I had all kinds of lab work done and everything came back normal and negative. I do not have GBS and my bile salts and kidney function tests al came back normal. That just means that my swelling is not caused by anything alarming. It's just normal pregnancy swelling.

Today was my 38 week appointment. I was hoping and praying for some progress, but was completely expecting for none. See my theory is expect the worst but hope for the best. That way, I can't be disappointed.

I had an internal and low and behold, I am only effaced 60%. Not dilated at all. Which means that Walter Goblin is comfy and not ready to come out yet. That's okay. I can live with that.

I asked my doctor if he could measure me and possibly guesstimate how big the bean is. He said "sure" and started probing away. I told him my theory while he was kneading biscuits out of my belly. "My friends and family all think I am having a small-ish baby. I want to see your opinion". Well, he smiled.

"You aren't having a small baby. Right now, he appears to be around 8 pounds".

SEE? I knew it! As much as I don't want to be right about this particular fact, I always knew he was going to be big. I have always guessed that I would have a baby that was over 9 pounds. It looks like I might be right after all. Take that family and friends! I told you so. Neener neener.

I realize I should not be happy about having a giant kid, but I am the type of person that loves to be right. This also means that my chance of having a c-section is going to be higher. It is what it is. I can't do anything to change that. I can hope for a vaginal birth but if I have a c-section, it's not the end of the world.

The good news? I apparently am good at growing big, healthy babies. The bad news? He might not fit into many of his newborn clothes.

Outside Baby Please!

I would like to preface this post by saying that of course, I want my baby to be perfectly healthy and because of that, I will hold out for another two (or three weeks) to make sure that he is. So no complaints about how I want my baby to come early. If you have ever been pregnant, I am sure you will understand the point of this post.

I am miserable. Seriously. I do not feel good at all. Not that my pregnancy has been a joy to begin with, but as it gets closer and closer to the end, I feel more and more gross. Tonight for example: My belly is so rock hard (I assume because of Braxton Hicks contractions) that it literally hurts. Every time this little guy moves, he bumps against my cervix and that hurts. I can't breathe, can't eat a lot because of severe stomach shrinkage and heartburn.

He is running out of room, that is evident. Evident from the way my lopsided belly looks, evident from the comments from my coworkers ("Oh my God, you are huge!"), evident by the way mommy feels in general.

It is getting very hard for me to walk. I don't think I have dropped yet and I haven't lost my mucous plug (ew!) so I don't think labor is coming any time soon. I can't walk because I have a 7.5-8.5 pound baby resting on my cervix. I can't walk because my feet are so swollen and painful that it hurts every step I take. I can't walk because my lungs are so squished that I pant and have to stop every third step.

I go to the doctor tomorrow for my 38 week appointment and I am hoping and praying for SOME progress. Something. Even a little effacement or dilation. I have a feeling I am going to be disappointed however. So I just need to be prepared for that.

I keep hoping that all my little symptoms are labor symptoms. I woke up last night feeling very crampy. So much so that it honestly felt like I was getting my period. Even though I know that's not possible, that is exactly what it felt like. I got out of bed and started pacing around the house like a lion because it was pretty uncomfortable. I was hoping and praying that labor was starting, but alas, here I sit.

Sometimes the pain and pressure are so bad that it takes my breath away and all I can do is sit out the pain and just breathe. I guess it's good practice for when I go into labor. As I type, he is resting on my cervix. Every little shift is like a lightning bolt of pain.

My coworker, who is due the day after me is currently at the hospital having her baby and I am very jealous. I have another two weeks to go. Again, I want el bambino to be healthy. So, I will tough it out. But honestly, I want an outside baby!

Should I resort to all the old wive's tales and start labor? I am torn because again, he will come when he is ready and I am afraid to force anything that isn't supposed to be. I do have a couple of recipes that are "sure fire labor starters". My husband has a friend who has a spaghetti recipe that induces labor and there is a cookie recipe I want to try. And of course there is always sex (unlikely to happen) and tons of walking.

I love you little Jack and hope you come soon! But don't come until you are healthy! Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you.

Happy Feet

No, not the movie, although that would be a much more pleasant post. I am talking about my actual feet.

Pregnant feet are not pretty. Correction: 38 week pregnant feet are not pretty. For the past three weeks, I haven't been able to recognize my feet. They have gotten so incredibly swollen. The swelling started with my hands and quickly moved to my feet. I have nicknamed them my Barney Rubble feet. You know, the kind where they look like one big indistinguishable lump? That's me!

I had to buy new shoes. That was hard. I always thought I would continue to wear cute heels until I deliver. Well, I still would be if I could fit into any of my heels. I can usually squeeze them on my feet, but after a few minutes, they look just gross. Like muffin top, but with shoes if that's even possible. My comfy running shoes were even getting tight, so I bought new shoes. I didn't spend a lot because the thought of spending a lot of money on shoes that I would only wear for less than a month was not appealing. Thankfully, I found two pairs at Target and spent $20 on both pairs (yay for clearance). Are they cute? Not really. But they fit. Here's the sad part: They are a whole size bigger than what I normally wear and they are still sometimes tight.

Sad sad sad. Enter today. My wonderful mother-in-law bought me a gift certificate to get a manicure and pedicure for Christmas. I haven't had the time to go but today, I made the effort. As soon as I logged off from work, I went to the nail place. Can I tell you how wonderful it felt to have my feet rubbed? Holy hell, if I could go in there every day, I would. Sadly, my wallet wouldn't like me very much.

I still have disgusting, swollen feet but hey, at least they are painted cute! I am forewarning you. If you get grossed out easily, don't scroll down.

Really, don't say I didn't warn you.

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Last chance!

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Here they are in all their swollen glory! Barney Rubble feet!

My Best Friend the Couch

I figure I might as well get most of my blogging out of the way since pretty soon, the babe will be here and I won't have as much time.

The past few nights, Jason has arrived home from work to find me passed out on the couch. I honestly can't help it. It is way more comfortable than our bed. I am finding myself getting more and more stir crazy and uncomfortable trying to find a place to sleep. If I try to sleep in our bed, I just toss and turn and get up fifty times a night to pee. It's hard for me to roll over and sometimes I get too hot. My solution to these problems have been to either sleep on the couch for part of the night, or when Jason comes to bed in the morning.

I honestly wish I could sleep on the couch every night. That wouldn't be conducive to Jason's gaming habit however. With our computer now out in the living room, he can't play games or be a boy with me sleeping on the couch two feet away. But I just can't help it! The couch is just so comfy! It has good back support, it's cushy, and my kitties usually keep me company.

I wonder if I could move the couch into the bedroom? That might solve all my problems.

Vent of Sorts

The point to this post is to vent about two things, although, I am sure I will think of more. Ha!

Vent number one: Why do people try and get you to disclose your name choice even after saying you won't be sharing? No, sorry random friend I only speak to once a year, you won't be finding out. Sorry mother-in-law and mom, you won't be finding out either, no matter how much you beg and plead.

Why did we decide to keep the name quiet? Because people have opinions and we don't want to hear them. We don't want to hear the "oh I know a guy with that name and he's a jerk" or "Are you sure? Aren't you worried about him getting made fun of?". Our name choice is not bizarre by any means, but we aren't sharing. End of story. Unless you are an internet stranger because I don't care about your opinion. I will share with you.

Vent number two: Why do people feel the need to either call every day or comment every day that I am STILL PREGNANT!? So annoying. My mother-in-law, who I adore with all my heart, thinks she is being sneaky by calling to "see how I am doing". Well MIL, you don't fool me. I know why you are calling. I am doing just fine thank you and no, I am not in labor. Don't worry, you will be one of the first people to know when I do go into labor. Don't fret my pretty one.

And to the random person in the bathroom at work, yes, I am still here. You really don't need to shriek "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE STILL HERE?!". It's not like I am 41 weeks pregnant. I am not even 38 weeks yet. I still have a full two weeks to go. I promise you, I will not go into labor in the bathroom or in the elevator and soil your shoes. Geez, calm down people! I am fine. All is well in the world. I am still pregnant and when I am not any longer, the world will continue to rotate.

You may now resume your regularly scheduled program.

My Birth Plan

This title is a slight oxymoron on its own just because you can plan all you want, but likely, it will go out the window. As I near the end of my pregnancy, I am trying to decide everything in regards to my "plan".

I always knew I would want an epidural because let's face it folks, I am a huge wimp. I do not tolerate pain well at all. When I had my miscarriage, I had to take misoprostol to induce the miscarriage. Miso makes you contract and expel the baby. I have never been in such pain in my entire life. I have broken my nose, had stitches in my head, gotten ear infections, dry socket after having my wisdom teeth out and other maladies. However, NOTHING could prepare me for that pain. Even on very high doses of pain medication, I couldn't even move off the couch. All I could do is just lay there and wait for the wave of contractions to pass. Breathing didn't help, getting into different positions didn't help, nothing.

Page forward 18 months later. I know that actual labor is going to be one hundred times worse. I am not looking forward to it. Here is my plan. Again, this is laughable because I am sure it will not happen anything like I hope.

If my water breaks at work, I have a friend all ready to drive me to the hospital. This is actually the ideal situation. I can get my desk cleaned off, let me boss know I am out of there and forward my phone to voicemail. All likely not to happen based on curious coworkers trying to come over and chat and my pain threshold (see above).

If my water breaks at home, I want to take a shower and get all groomed. After all, my mother-in-law will be there for the delivery and if she sees my hoohah, the least I can do is shave. I have a towel under the sheets on our bed in case it breaks while I am sleeping. If it breaks in the middle of the night, I can just go get Jason. He will be awake anyways since he works swing shift.

Likely to happen: I am not going to have my water break. Likely what will happen is that I will be induced because I am overdue.

Also likely to happen: Something embarrassing like having my water break at Costco or on my way to work taking the train.

My husband and mother-in-law will be at the hospital with me. I am not sure exactly when Lynn will get a phone call. Whether we call her right away or wait until we get to the hospital. That is one element I haven't decided.

I want pain meds, however, I am going to try and hold out until I am 5cm dilated. I have heard and read that if you can hold out that long, your labor is less likely to stall. However, I am trying to be open minded. Why? Because again, I am a huge wimp.

Likely to happen: The first contraction I will be begging for meds. I bet I won't even be dilated.

Now, depending on how I feel at 5cm, I will re-evaluate the pain med situation. If I feel good, I might just keep going without. Who am I kidding though? This is UNLIKELY to happen.

The hospital I am delivering at has a jacuzzi tub. Depending on how I feel and if I am not already hooked up to an IV, I might labor in the tub. Again, another UNLIKELY. I probably won't feel up to it, but the hot water and jets sure sound good.

So there, that's my plan. I am sure it's all going out the window once my water breaks (if it even does break). I will probably be an out of control madwoman. Running around crazy, forget to shower or even brush my teeth, and probably will even forget my darn hospital bag.

Oh well, one can only hope right?

The Carseat

The ending to last weekend was the installation of the carseat. Well, I take no credit. My husband did it all himself. First off, we bought a travel system. It came in the biggest box I have ever seen. The nice thing was that the carseat was already assembled. The stroller was another story.

Jason installed the base in less than 10 minutes. I was extremely surprised. We will see just how well it's in there when I go to the firestation tomorrow to get it inspected. Next up is a second base to be installed in his car.

So the point to this blog post was to point out my absolute and utter klutziness. Jason had finished putting together the stroller and we decided to take everything out to the car and just store it in the trunk. I had the empty carseat to snap into the base and Jason carried the stroller.

I am walking out to the car and being my usual graceful self, I fell flat on my ass. I did impress myself however because I managed to hold up the carseat so it didn't hit the ground. My pants were covered in mud, and my pride was wounded. Of course, Jason was freaked out. "Oh my God, are you okay?!" Yes honey, I was fine. Just a little muddy. He then says "Don't do that with the baby in the carseat". Okay, I feel bad enough as it is, don't make me feel worse.

I clean myself off and decide I am fine. It was just my big butt after all. I didn't hurt myself at all. Later in the Goblin household:

Jason: So here's what you need to do. When you go somewhere and need to use the stroller, you need to take the stroller out of the trunk, set it up and THEN go to the car and get the baby.

Me: ...............................Um, what?

Jason: You didn't know that?

Me: Of course I knew that. Do you think I am stupid? What am I going to do? Take the baby out, leave him on the ground and then set up the stroller?

Jason: Well, you have never done this before, I want to make sure you know how it works.

Me: You have never done this before either!

Men.