Cal's Birth Story

Tuesday morning started out early.  We had to be at the hospital for my routine c-section at 5:30 with surgery at 7:30.  After very little sleep the night before (nerves anyone?) I was up at 4:00, showered, shaved and finished that last minute packing.

We got checked in at the Family Maternity Center and were brought back to a room immediately.  Our nurse came in and had me change into a gown, took my blood pressure and my temperature and put the fetal heart monitor bands on my belly.  All pretty routine things.  I did have a slight fever because Jack Jack gave me his cold.  Not enough of a fever to delay the surgery though!

Jason was the designated picture taker of the day since I obviously had other things to be concerned about.  He got some shots of me in my lovely hospital gown, filling out paperwork and other boring things.  I was more looking forward to baby pictures, duh!

The anesthesiologist came to my room fairly early so we could talk about complications, allergies, etc.  I am so glad I told her my entire history of anesthesia and its complications because I had a completely different experience this time.  More to come on that later.  With Jack, as soon as my epidural was placed, my blood pressure tanked.  I believe it was around 70/40.  It was enough to make all the monitors and bells go off.  After the blood pressure scare, I got severely nauseous.  I remember being so out of it that the delivery of my baby was a blur.  I don't even remember the next 24 hours.

After speaking with anesthesia, we decided it was best to do a patch behind my ear, similar to those prone to motion sickness would wear.  Speaking with the anesthesiologist took a lot of time which is fine by me.  It made the time go much faster and it kept my mind off the worries that I had.  She answered all my questions about how the line is placed, when it would need to be taken out, etc.  Come to find out, a spinal for a repeat c-section is different than an epidural.  The needle is smaller and there is no line that stays in.  It's a shot of numbing medicine in your spinal column and that's it.  The medication wears off in about 3 hours although you would still have the tingly feeling in your legs. 

My nurse placed my IV line but it took some time.  My veins have this pesky condition where they blow out as soon as the IV is placed.  In the end, the anesthesiologist had to do it.  When that was in, I was given a shot of antibiotics since I tested Strep B positive.  I was also pushed fluids to help curb the nausea that I was worried about.

Lynn, my mother-in-law arrived around 6:45.  She had dropped Jack off at daycare and came immediately to the hospital.  It was nice having the extra support. 

We visited and chatted and filled out paperwork until the time came.  I was able to walk myself to surgery without passing out or shaking uncontrollably from nerves.  Jason waited outside so my spinal could be done and the draping set up.

I remember the room being so cold and climbing up on the table and thinking I wouldn't fit.  The compression booties were put on my legs at that point and I sat criss-crossed so the spinal could be done.  Honestly, it didn't hurt at all.  The numbing shot worked so well and the only thing I felt was the warm sensation going into my butt.  When I was substantially drugged, I was laid down.  I was absolutely freaked at this point because I was expecting the alarms to go off because of my blood pressure or I was worried that I would throw up.  I was shaking a bit from the nerves, but I took deep breaths and prayed to calm down.  That was all it took for my mind to go calm. 

Believe it or not, I didn't have any issues with the anesthesia!  There was one point while I was being draped that I said "Uh oh" and the anesthesiologist came over with a basin for me to use.  I coughed (have you ever tried coughing when you are numb?) and I did spit up a little but I was instantly better.

Jason was brought back and the surgery started.  I could feel the pressure and tugging but no pain or any temperature sensations.  Jason held my hand the whole time and as soon as Cal's head came out, my doctor said "The head is out".  He pulled the rest of Cal out and said "Rachel, this looks like a big baby".  Cal immediately started screaming.  He was NOT happy to be ripped out of his warm environment. 

I got to see him being carried over to the isolette and that was my favorite moment of the day.  I never got to see Jack when he was fresh born.  I had my eyes closed and I was so sick that I didn't get to have that special moment.  When Cal was being carried over, I said to Jason "Oh my gosh, he has dark hair!". 

The nurses and respiratory therapist were cleaning Cal up, measuring him and getting him in a diaper.  Before the diaper went on, the RT said "Don't pee on me buddy".  He really shouldn't have said anything because right then Cal let off a stream.  It was pretty funny.  I got to see everything they were doing to him which was so great!  He was crying the whole time but I was so proud and happy to have a healthy baby that the crying was music to my ears.

I got stitched all up and then rolled onto the hospital bed.  As soon as I was in place, they brought the baby over to me so I could hold him on the way back to our room.  I finally got to see his handsome face and see who he looked like. 

I closed my eyes on the ride back to the room so I wouldn't get sea-sick so to speak.  When back in the room, I laid in bed while the nurse checked over Cal and weighed him.  He cried quite a bit but that is completely normal.  After all, he had just been cut out of me and was probably hungry and cold and the light was so bright! 

After a few minutes, Cal was showing hunger signs so the nurse helped me latch him on.  I was glad to do so because I really wanted to establish a good breastfeeding routine this time around.  It took a bit but we got Cal latched.  He still doesn't really open his mouth super wide but he's eating so I will assume his latch is normal for him.  He ate for a while and then rested.  I made sure and mark down on the feeding chart when he ate so I could make sure and nurse every 2-3 hours. 

All in all, my repeat c-section was a success!  My overall experience has been completely opposite from my first time around.   I got sick, I was having severe hormone crashes, didn't sleep, didn't take advantage of the help that was offered to me and got so frustrated with how I felt afterwards.

I will do a post about my recovery later but let's just say it's been much better this time as well.

Things I Forgot

While watching a Baby Story today, I was reminded by some things I forgot about my labor/delivery.


* The nurse couldn't get my IV in. She kept trying for veins in my arm but none of them worked. Instead, I needed to get it in my hand which was absolutely no big deal. She kept apologizing.


* I had to wear these plastic weird compression stockings after my c-section to curb any blood clots in my legs. I remember that they were hot and I kept kicking my blanket off. The nurse finally figured it out and turned the fan in them on. Much better! They only stayed on for a few hours until I was able to get out of bed.


* I totally and completely forgot that Jack got a bath and diaper change in our recovery room until I was looking at the pictures the other day. There is a video too and he is screaming his little head off. How was I not hysterical over that?

* I ate a lot of my meals one handed. Do you realize how hard it is to eat cereal with one hand? I just couldn't put my baby down sometimes. I even cleaned my hospital room (yes, I cleaned) with one hand.

I am sure there are lots more things that I have forgotten. It's sad that so many details were forgotten so soon. I wanted to remember every detail of my birth story and I don't. I kick myself now that I wasn't blogging as I went, or that I didn't keep a notebook with some snippets.

My Recovery

I am going to state in advance that I remember very little of my recovery. I don't know if that is because I was in shock, or if it was from my lack of sleep, but I am regretful that I don't remember. I have to constantly ask Jason or my mother-in-law what happened or if I was dreaming a certain detail.

After my c-section, I remember the nurses and Jason taking care of Jack while I was being stitched up. It took them a good 5 minutes to finish before I could even see him for the first time. That 5 minutes was an eternity! He was crying, I was crying, Jason was crying. Finally I got to see and hold him and I was wheeled to my recovery room holding my precious boy.

Mike and Lynn (My in-laws) were waiting in our room and as I was holding him, they were gazing at my beautiful baby. Being a selfish person, I didn't want to give him up. After a cruddy birth, I wanted to cuddle my bundle. It was a good couple of hours before Lynn got to hold him (I am so mean!).

One of the nurses got to work on me. I think they were making sure I was comfortable in bed and taking my vital signs. The other nurse, Molly, was taking care of Jack. After I was all checked out, he was brought over to me to try and nurse. He latched on okay with Molly's help and started sucking. Little did I know that he wasn't doing it right (see my Breastfeeding Failure post). Molly tried helping us along and let me tell you, all modesty goes out the window. She was grabbing my breast and grabbing Jack and my mother-in-law was in the room. I don't remember if my father-in-law was gone or had stepped out of the room at that point.

After nursing, Jack got his first bath and diaper change. I am really glad that Jason took a video because I honestly don't even remember this detail. The video shows him crying and screaming away, but again, where was I? I am sure my heart was wrenching to hear my baby crying, but I don't remember! The video is very sweet. It's amazing just how much he has changed already from when he was first born to 11 days later.

Because I had a c-section, I couldn't get out of bed right away. I still had my catheter, my IV and all kinds of monitors hooked up to me. FINALLY, I was able to have some water. I hadn't been able to for close to 12 hours. When you have an epidural, all you are allowed are ice chips. My mouth was so so so dry. I sucked down close to 16 ounces of water right away. That might have been a terrible idea because about an hour later, it all came back up again. The nurse was standing at the sink and I asked "If I need to throw up, what should I do it in?" She wasn't paying attention, but I felt the nausea coming on, so I covered my mouth and motioned to Jason that I was going to vomit. Jason literally had to shake the nurse's arm to give me something to yak in. And throw up I did. Amazingly, throwing up didn't hurt my incision. I was probably so drugged up at that point which might explain it. Because I had gotten sick, I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat until at least the next morning. Dude, that is mean! I was starving! Even if I could have had some fruit or crackers, that would have been fine. Nope, no food.

The rest of the night is a blur, but I remember Karen, my nurse, telling me that around 3:00am, they would be waking me up to get me out of bed. I didn't need to walk anywhere, they just wanted me to stand up. I probably didn't even sleep. Again, I can't remember. Jason took care of Jack and brought him over to my bed if he got hungry.

The witching hour of 3:00am came. Karen maneuvered me around in bed (that was hard enough since my legs were slightly numb) to try and get me to stand. You try standing on legs that feel like pins and needles that have been that way since the early afternoon. It was such a bizarre feeling. It didn't hurt when she stood me up, but boy, my body revolted against me. Even though I had thrown up all my water earlier, there must have still been something left in my stomach, because I threw up again. I no sooner stood up with the nurse's help, sat back down and said "I need to throw up again". Geez, could I catch a break? I am sure it had something to do with adrenaline and the anesthesia finally wearing off, but still. Icky.

The rest of the night passed and the next morning, I was feeling so much better. I was still not able to eat (meanies). I think my first meal came at 6:00 and that had been 36 hours since I had last eaten. Honestly, the roast beef and cheese sandwich tasted like the best thing ever. I figured roast beef because Jason and Lynn had oh-so-kindly eaten delicious looking sandwiches in front of me the day before.

On Wednesday morning, I finally got out of bed to use the bathroom and to get "freshened up". That is exactly what the nurse called it. Her words, not mine. I had a nurse on either side of me and they helped haul me up and out of bed. Thankfully, I did not get sick this time. I shuffled very slowly to the bathroom and was able to sit down on the toilet with the help of the grab bars. My catheter was removed as I was sitting on the toilet and boy did it feel weird! I remember the nurse explaining that it wouldn't hurt and that it would feel slightly strange. She also explained that since I had a catheter for so long, my bladder wouldn't be able to know it needed to be emptied. I was instructed to get up every two hours even if I didn't think I needed to pee. I sat on the toilet for a good five minutes trying to pee, and finally it came! I would pee a little and my bladder would get confused and then stop. This continued until I was done and by that time, the nurse was ready with all her "equipment" to clean me up. Again, all modesty goes out the window.

Being cleaned up felt amazing. Seriously, I felt like a new woman. She filled this nifty squeeze bottle with lukewarm water and "hosed" me off. I wasn't allowed to wipe and needed to use the squeeze bottle for a while. Fine with me! It felt good! Like a little bath every time I needed to go potty. Everyone talks about the huge mesh panties that the hospital has you wear. Confession: I stole some from the hospital. They felt soooooo good. I didn't want to soil my own underwear so I wore mesh panties for a few days after I came home from the hospital. They are stretchy and comfy and fit those giant elephants pads that they give you. My "freshening up" was over and I was put back into bed with my giant panties, pad and puppy pad under my butt.

Karen, my night nurse (didn't like her, that's another story) said that for the first day of recovery, all I was allowed to do was go back and forth to the bathroom. I shouldn't be getting out of bed for anything else. I shouldn't pick up my baby or walk the halls. The following day I could walk around the room and the day after that, I could walk the halls if I felt up to it. If I needed to use the bathroom for the first day, I should call my day nurse for the first couple of times for help getting out of bed. The funny thing is that when my day nurse, Larissa, got on shift, I asked her about this and she poo-pawed those instructions. She said if I felt fine and up to it, I could go by myself but to take it slow. That wouldn't be the first time that a different nurse poo-pawed Karen's instructions.

The day went by without any real events. I peed, watched tv, snuggled with my baby and chatted with my mother-in-law. Nursing was pretty hard. Jack had a slight issue with latching (he couldn't fish lip my breast like he was supposed to), so my nipples got very sore very fast. Nursing was not exactly fun, but I kept up. With the help of my Boppy, I kept nursing about every two hours.

In the evening, I had a few visitors. I honestly felt fine after eating so my co-worker and good friend Kelly came by first. She cried when she first saw Jack. Who wouldn't? He is that darn gorgeous after all (I will post a picture at the end for proof). My sister came by as well and so did my aunt and uncle. Even though I hadn't showered and was still wearing my sexay hospital gown, it was nice to have visitors and show off my baby.

Karen ended up being my night nurse again, lucky me. Here's why she kind of bothered me. First off, she kept calling me Babe. Everything was "Okay Babe", "good job Babe", or "no problem Babe". Yes, she was an older woman, but seriously, babe? It was annoying. She also would come into the room and say "It's just Karen". Not sure why it bugged me, but it did. She also would try and baby me. I realize that I had major surgery but I didn't need to be told to eat vanilla pudding at 4:00 in the morning, or when she brought my pills, she would try and get me to eat some saltines. None of my other nurses did stuff like that.

Here are the main reasons that Karen was not my favorite nurse: She told me I couldn't get out of bed the first day. When I mentioned that to another of my nurses, she seemed shocked. She told me that the information was untrue and that I SHOULD be getting out of bed and walking around. I missed a whole day of picking up and snuggling with Jack! I can't tell you how disappointed I was about that. The second reason is because she would give me information and then not explain it very well so I was left upset or putting the pieces together myself. For an example, read my Breastfeeding Failure post. That tells it all.

On Thursday, I was feeling much better and getting up and out of bed on my own. I got a Tetanus shot that day and I was able to pick Jack up and feed him without help. My first lactation nurse came in to help me with feeding since Jack was already losing so much weight. I thought after working with her, the problem would be solved, but no. Those issues have continued. Don't get me wrong. I am not upset. I know it's a process. She did give me some good information and had me start using these cooling gel pads on my nipples since they looked like I had been bitten by a vampire.

The only cruddy thing about Thursday was my gas issues. I don't know if it's because of the surgery, but I swear, it felt like I had another baby in me trying to break out. I had gas bubbles all day and night. It didn't hurt, but once in a while I would get a stitch in my side. If I walked around the room it helped relieve my issues. Poor Jason probably got grossed out by all the farting I was doing.

Aunt Laurie, Mamo and Vicky came to visit Jack on Thursday and then later that evening, Lynn came and roomed in with me so Jason could go home and get a good night's sleep. I figure that since I wasn't sleeping (I literally had about 5 hours of sleep my entire hospital stay, no joke) that Jason should be getting some rest. You could tell that he didn't want to leave because of the tone of his voice. As he was leaving, he kissed Jack and had tears in his eyes. I made a comment to Lynn that he would call at least twice before the next morning, and of course, I was right. He called 20 minutes after leaving and asked how Jack was and to give him a big kiss. He sounded choked up. It was heartbreaking.

Lynn and I spent the night together and I was completly delirious. A few times, she told me to get some rest and I did shut my eyes. It's hard to sleep when you are worrying about your baby. My eyes would close and I would say the most random, gibberish. I am sure Lynn thought I was losing my mind. Jack slept right next to my bed in his isolette. That way he cried I could easily pick him up and feed or comfort him.

That night lasted forever. It was hard to be away from Jason after he had taken care of us for four days. The only saving grace was my night nurse. She was an absolute joy. Her name was Cathy and she had the cutest Texas accent. She was so incredibly nice. She made mention that I should get some rest and that Jack could come to the nursery to give me a break. From that point on he had roomed in with me the entire time. Finally, around 4:30, I took Cathy up on her offer and sent Jack to the nursery. That was about as hard as sending Jason home! I knew he was in good hands. Cathy asked my permission to give him a pacifier if he was inconsolable. I got a few minutes of rest and no sooner did Jack leave that he came back. He was only gone an hour. He got so upset and wouldn't stop crying so he was brought back into the room. Looking back, I know he was so upset because he was hungry. In the hospital, he was extremely cranky and grumpy and that was because he wasn't getting enough food. My poor baby. I am so glad that he has turned a corner and is gaining weight now and getting the hang of eating.

My doctors wanted me to stay in the hospital until Saturday but by Friday I was itching to go home. I was ready to beg Dr. P to let me go. I felt fine and was healing well. To prove it to them, I got up, took a shower and even did my hair. It felt so nice and I felt so human afterwards. I even wore some of my own clothes. Bye bye icky hospital gown! When Jason came back to the hospital, he would see me all showered and pretty.

The on-call doctor came around at 10:00 and I asked if I could go home that day. She said it would be perfectly fine! Yay, we were going home! I was given two prescriptions. One of Oxycodone and one for Ibuprofen 800. I couldn't wait until the afternoon when we would be discharged.

As we were getting ready to leave, a different lactation consultant came in and Jack was weighed. I was nearly hysterical when I found out that he had officially lost 10% of his body weight. All the pumping and supplementing (we were finger feeding along with breast feeding) along with breastfeeding were not working to stop his weight loss. Talk about a complete curve ball. We were on track to head home when Laurie (the LC) told us that Jack had a sucking problem. I couldn't stop crying and Jason kept trying to console me.

The LC was wonderful and told me that I was not a bad mom and that I was doing a good job and that Jack just needed some help. She evaluated his sucking and determined it was not very good. She gave us a plan and since then, we have been working with him. If you want to read about the plan, there is a whole separate Breastfeeding Failure post. I could rant and rant about my issue forever.

I was nervous about getting Jack in the carseat and taking him home because he hated to be unswaddled at that point (he is over that now). My stomach was in knots as Jason made his way to the car with all our things and to go get the carseat. I was alone with Jack in the empty hospital room for about 20 minutes which gave me a chance to unwind and let my emotions calm down. When Jason returned, surprisingly, Jack did really well being strapped into the carseat. We had him in a very cute blue bear outfit to make the journey home. He was so dang tiny!

We had to wait for a stupid wheelchair for me (hospital policy) and I was getting really upset. I just wanted to walk to the car and get the car ride over with. Honestly, waiting for 15 minutes for the dumb wheelchair was very stressful. I was unnecessarily snappy with the poor volunteers when they came to get us.

Jack did awesome on the ride home. He didn't fuss or cry once! He seems to enjoy the bouncing of the car. Every time we have taken him out, he has been so good. I hope I didn't just jinx us by saying that.

Being at home is amazing. It's been so much less stressful and we have found our groove. It's been awesome to wear my own clothes, feel comfortable nursing without flashing the world, going to the bathroom on my own toilet (I know, weird), etc. I have even found a few opportunities to cook and bake. It's been awesome and I know how blessed we are. I thank God every day for our miracle and the fact that he's such a good boy.

My advice to those recovering after having a baby:

* Take the Colace! Keep taking it until you are "regular" again or are off your narcotics.

* Give yourself a break. Send the baby to the nursery. Don't feel guilty. I wished I had done this at least twice so I could get an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep.

* Let the nurses help you. Don't try to be a hero. Let them help you out of bed, bring you water, bring you food, etc. Seriously, you just gave birth. Let people pamper you.

* Eat! Take advantage of some down time and get some food. Surprisingly, the hospital food was pretty good. I was bad about having three meals a day. I was lucky if I had two.

* Take the drugs. Again, don't be a hero. The pain medication you are given has no harmful effects on your wee one. Take them and don't feel guilty about it.

* Expect that your body will not bounce back immediately. Yes, I have already lost over 15 pounds, but I don't expect my flabby belly or my incision are going to look great for several months. You will have flab and if you were lucky enough not to have gotten stretch marks, don't be shocked if they appear post-delivery. I have some on my belly now even though they are light and white.

* RELAX! Sleep when you can, snuggle with your baby and try and give yourself some "me" time. Even if that "me" time is a 5 minute trip to the bathroom. You need it.

If you made it through this post, congratulations! Your reward is a super cute picture of Jack. Seriously, how handsome is he? He looks slightly annoyed in this picture. Probably because he thinks someone is going to steal his paci.

Babies are Expensive

This is really a true statement, especially when you start seeing all the hospital and doctor bills coming in. Here is what has accrued so far:

Jack's nursery charges: $2665
My anethesia bills (includes my epidural and the c-section): $2630
My hospital bill: $16992
Misc doctor fees (for visiting me in the hospital): $350

Now, I shouldn't have to owe more than $3000 total for my bills because I have an out-of-pocket of $3000 with the insurance company.

Thank goodness for saving up beforehand and for a Flexible Spending Account! I will be curious to see what the final total costs are when all is said and done.

Jack Emmett is Here!

This is going to be a long post folks. I have a lot to say about my birth story. I find it ironic that my last post was about my 38 week appointment. Considering I was talking about my giant baby and the fact that I would go overdue. Well, surprise! This post is mostly for me since I want to remember what labor is like in case I ever decide to have a baby again.

On Sunday the 31st, my husband and I went to my in-laws for dinner. Right as we were about to leave at 8:30pm, I felt a gush of fluid. I went to the bathroom and my underwear was soaked but it was not enough fluid (or so I thought) to make me think it was my water.

On Monday the 1st I got up to get ready for work at 7:00am and felt another gush of fluid. I thought I would at least call my boss to see if I could work from home in case I had more fluid gush or the doctor wanted to see me. The on call doctor I spoke with was very nice. She explained that since it wasn't a huge amount of loss and I wasn't having contractions that it probably wasn't my water. She told me to come on in to Labor and Delivery just to be sure though.

Being that I am super organized, I called both of my bosses and then logged into work JUST IN CASE. I wanted to get all my open assignments reassigned and set my email out of office message so that people would know that I was on maternity leave if they happened to contact me. What can I say? I am a planner.

I ate a super quick breakfast, got some clothes set out and then popped my head into the bedroom and told my husband that I had another gush of fluid and that the doctor wanted me to go to L&D. I told him that he should stay at home since it was probably a false alarm and why bother coming and wasting sleep since he had to be at work at 3:00. Well, that was the wrong thing to do. My husband is a worrier. He said "There is no way you are driving yourself to the hospital if you are in labor". I told him that again, it was probably nothing and that if I was indeed in labor, I would call him from the hospital and he could either drive in or call his mom to take him.

I took a shower and of course, Jason got up and started getting all our bags ready. We had all the hospital bags packed but needed to throw in last minute items. I shaved my legs, got all pretty, put on makeup and did everything because again, I wasn't in labor! We even had time to drink a cup of coffee and headed to L&D around 8:45am. Jason was awesome and got all our bags into the car, the carseat snapped in and then made sure to ask me if I had everything and what he could do to help. He didn't want me carrying anything heavy.

Once we got there, the L&D nurses don't mess around. They didn't even ask me WHY I was there. They took us straight back to a room and had me change into a gown. The front desk nurse said "Your nurse will be right in". Okay, who needs a nurse when all they were going to do was probably check me.

The nicest nurse, Jeanette came in and explained that she would do an internal exam and check the fluid around my cervix, but probably since I didn't have that huge gush of water that is typical, it was probably nothing. I told Jason not to even bother calling his mom and worrying her because we would likely be home around 11:00. My cervix was checked, I peed in a cup, and then we waited. Jeanette had explained that when viewed under a microscope that amniotic fluid looked like a fern when dry.

About 20 minutes later, she poked her head back into the room and said "Well, you surprised me, I saw the plant". OH MY GOD. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY. Once your water breaks, you have to deliver within a certain amount of time in order for the risk of infection to remain low. Apparently, my bag of waters had sprung a slow leak. That is why I didn't have the huge gush of fluid that is normal.

The nurse said she would be back and get us some admit forms and at that point is when we decided to make all our phone calls. I called work, Jason called work, he called his mom (who was going to be in the delivery room with us), I called my mom, etc. It was pretty much excited chaos.

Funny thing: My coworker Melissa was currently at the hospital having her baby and I didn't know it yet! I guess since both her and I share a birthday, our babies probably should too.

Jeanette came back and explained that the next part of the process was to insert Cervadil into my lady bits to get my cervix to soften so that I would go into labor on my own. Once the Cervadil remains in for 12 hours, they would then start the Pitocin if I hadn't progressed or started having contractions. It would be at least the next day before our baby would be here, but we were required to stay at the hospital.

The Cervadil was put in around 12:00pm (lunch time) and my cervix was checked to see if I was dilated at all (I was at about 1cm at that point) and the next few hours were pretty much boring and uneventful. I had my gown on, hung out in bed, cat napped when I could, chatted with my mother-in-law and called and texted all my friends. I had brought my laptop so I was able to keep myself busy. My cervix wasn't checked again because the risk of infection is high when your water has broken.

I didn't bother wearing underwear the rest of the day because I kept having gushes of fluid (gross, sorry). They had these pads on the bed (I called them puppy pads) to catch any fluid. I can tell you that it had to be changed a couple of times throughout the day. Throughout the day, I felt crampy, but that was probably due to the fact that my cervix was effacing and dilating. The Cervadil was supposed to be taken out at around midnight, but I went to the bathroom and thought I saw the string in the toilet. So, instead of having it removed by one of the nurses, it came out on its own.

My mother-in-law went home because she knew I wouldn't be having Jack until the next day at least. Jason stayed with me. I slept a few hours and he played on the computer or watched tv.

The next morning around 7:00, I was hooked up to a Pitocin drip. Now, keep in mind, I am pretty scared of hearing stories about Pitocin. I have these horrible thoughts of your labor going from zero to sixty in just a couple of hours. I hate to say it because I don't remember, but I believe my cervix was checked at one point (I don't remember what time) and I was dilated to 3. The contractions were getting more and more painful. One would come on and I would breathe through it which worked for quite a while. My mother-in-law and husband would rub my arm or my leg and remind me to breathe. I could still talk through them, so I knew that they weren't that terrible yet.

They became pretty terrible at some point when I couldn't breathe through them anymore. My pain threshold is pretty low so I knew it was time for the epidural. The nurse had warned me that when I knew I wanted one, not to wait too long and to allow 30 minutes for the anesthesiologist to get there. You don't want to be at your breaking point and still have to wait another 30 minutes.

I called uncle and the anesthesiologist came to administer my epi around 12:00. Once you receive an epidural, you can't get out of bed. So, I was there in bed to stay (which meant a catheter, ew) until I delivered. Adam, the very nice anesthesiologist came in and questioned my body's ability to have anesthesia. Basically he asked me questions about what surgeries I had in the past and how I reacted to the anesthesia.

I got into position and bent over. Adam walked me through everything. My husband held my hand while the numbing medicine into my back. Then, the needle for the epidural went in. I do not know how big the thing was, but I felt a lot of pressure and it overall just felt strange. I kept saying "ow" even though it didn't really hurt. Poor Adam and poor Rachel. He tried several times to get the needle in with no luck. I guess I have small spaces between my bones in my spine. I started feeling really sick because he was trying so hard to get the needle in with no success. My mother-in-law told me that he had a big frown on his face and concentrating about getting the needle in. Finally, he did and he started administering the medication. That is when things got ugly.

As soon as the epidural medication was pumped into my back, I started getting lightheaded and nauseous. I was still bent over and said to the nurse "I don't feel good, something is wrong". The got me back into bed and apparently I turned white as a sheet. I don't remember much, but I could hear the monitors next to me going off and I believe a wet washcloth was put on my head. I couldn't even hear people talking in the room.

It took a good 20 minutes to start feeling better, but what happened was that once the medication went into my epidural space, my blood pressure plummeted. Jason said he saw the monitor and it said 70/64. Yikes! Again, because I couldn't remember what happened, Adam or the nurse put a medicine in my IV to raise my blood pressure as well as an anti nausea medication so I wouldn't vomit. After that, I started to feel better. As a matter of fact, I started feeling great after about 30 minutes. I was not feeling any pain at all. It was explained to me that I might still feel the contractions, but they wouldn't be painful. Sure enough, I could feel pressure, but absolutely not one ounce of pain. I would jokingly say to my husband "Oh, there's a contraction" and sure enough, on the monitor, there would be one.

I feel awful saying this, but the details of my labor are all starting to disappear. There are things that I am going to get out of order. I probably should have blogged about it sooner but golly gee, with a new baby, it's sort of hard.

I know that I wasn't able to eat or drink anything after a certain time, but honestly, I can't remember why. I was allowed ice chips only after the epi was put in, but I can't remember if the Pitocin was the cause of me not being allowed to eat. Jason and my mother-in-law ate a roast beef sandwich in front of me though. Seriously, how cruel is that?!?

At one point, Dr. P came in to check my progression. I THINK it was after my epidural. He checked me internally, which is kind of funny because my mother-in-law was in the room the entire time. She has now seen every body part of mine that there is. Teee hee. Okay, so Dr. P checked me and there was a visible bag of water. He asked the nurse for a hook to break it. Talk about bizarre feeling! It was like peeing my pants but just not with pee. It was very warm and I soaked the puppy pad. After that, I would have a lot of gushes throughout the day.

I had an internal contraction monitor put in me at one point. It was pretty cool watching the contractions on the monitor. Even though I couldn't feel them (due to the epidural), I could see them on the monitor. I was having them every 2 to 3 minutes and they were very strong. I also had some contractions that were doubled up. Of course I can't remember the names of them now. But I would have one, immediately have another and then have a break for 5 minutes. So odd.

I started getting super excited around 2:00 when a nurse came in and checked my cervix progress and told me I was dilated to 7! Yippee! That lasted all of about an hour when Dr. P came back, checked me again and said "well the nurse was being generous. I think you are only about 4 or 5". Well hell. So much for progress. And I had texted several of my friends too to let them know that the baby was getting closer. How embarrassing.

Again, the details get sketchy but at around 6:00 Dr. P came back in and checked me again. Or maybe it was the nurse. I was dilated to about a 5 by that point. One centimeter in four stinkin' hours! Dr. P sighed really loud and said "Well kiddo, let's talk about what's happening". Normally, once your water is broken, they want you to progress about a centimeter per hour. I was only progressing about a centimeter every two to four hours. Due to that fact, and the fact that they thought Jack was a big baby, he told me that I would probably need a c-section.

Does it make me terrible that I wasn't even sad about this? When I first became pregnant, I had a theory that I could plan for the worst but hope for the best. So, if I needed a c-section, so be it. I was told that they would check the schedule, but likely, I would have my baby within a couple of hours. My father-in-law had gotten to the hospital at this point and I am glad he was there because I know my mother-in-law was super disappointed that she couldn't see our faces when we saw our son and I know she wanted to be there to see him born. He was a good support person for my mother in law.

Jason changed into scrubs and our items were moved from the labor room to our recovery room where we would spend the next few days.

I ended up going in for a c-section around 7:00. A few minutes beforehand, a wonderful anesthesiologist came in and explained the process of anesthesia for a c-section. They use the same epidural line but just up the dosage of medication. A couple of nurses and the anesthesiologist worked on me for a while. Again, when they upped the medication, I got sick. Immediately after the drip was turned up, my blood pressure crashed, I got nauseous and had to shut my eyes. It was very hard for me because I wanted to be present and aware for when our son was born. I had anti-nausea meds and blood pressure medication pumped into my IV and I was quickly wheeled off to the OR.

All I remember is keeping my eyes shut as I was being wheeled into the OR. I had no idea where Jason was at this point, but I believe he came in about 5 minutes later. I was moved from the gurney onto the surgery table. I heard a nurse say her name was Jennifer and I was aware of my other nurse from the night shift Molly there (Molly was absolutely wonderful by the way). I had to keep my eyes closed because I was shaking so hard from the anxiety and adrenaline. I couldn't stop my arms from shaking. Jason came in at that point and stayed with me behind the sterile drape. I can't even remember if he held my hand or not.

I was not aware that the surgery had even started until I smelled the cauterization of whatever the doctor was doing. I asked Jason, "Have they started yet?" and he replied "Honey, they are almost done". All the tugging and pulling I was feeling was the incision and all the cutting. I had no idea, that is how completely out of it I was. The whole time, the anesthesiologist was talking to me, although he didn't really say what was happening. He was just a soothing nice voice that helped keep me calm.

The second I found out the surgery was almost done, I was instantly better. The shaking stopped, I stopped being nauseous and I was ready for Jack to be born. I finally heard Dr. P say "The head's out!". I think someone else said "Happy Birthday little guy!". Jack instantly started crying. And of course, to hear that beautiful sound, I started crying too. It really truly was the best thing I had ever heard in my life. He had such a strong cry.

Jason got to get up and go see him get washed and cleaned up. It took about five minutes for him to bring Jack around but when he did, it was honestly the best moment of my life. Here is a picture that one of the nurses took of us as a new family:

Just looking at this picture breaks my heart because I am so happy. They had to take Jack again to do a few more things but very shortly, I got to hold him. They moved me back to my hospital bed and handed my sweet baby to me. I just remember staring at his beautiful face. I haven't seen too many newborns as alert and cute as Jack.

Even though the pain and grossness of childbirth is over, I can say it was all worth it. Would I do it again? I don't know. Maybe in a few years. For Jack though, I would go back and do it again a hundred times over. He's worth it.

I am sure I have forgotten a ton of details. Little sleep, excitement of meeting your baby and conveniently forgetting the pain will do that to you. I will post later about my recovery. In many ways, the recovery after my c-section was worse than the actual process. More to come.

Jack Emmett Lastname
Born: February 2, 2010 7:38pm
7 pounds 13 ounces
19.75 inches long
Absolutely perfect in every way