I am not saying that I CAN'T still do these things. I have just forgotten how to. Does that make sense?
So what am I going to do about this? I have challenged myself. I am making a huge effort to do a few things. Push myself out of my comfort zone.
Here are the things that I am actively doing:
* I have signed up for a knitting class with a friend. I used to knit, even though I wasn't very good at it. I only made scarves but it was a hobby and I liked doing it. This class is for beginners and I get to pick a project for the duration of the class. Even if I only go to the class for the 4 weeks I am getting out of the house and having adult interaction!
* I am slowly easing back into church. I haven't been attending regularly. Why? I have a million excuses but the main one is that it's hard for me to get out of the house with the two kids. But Cal is old enough now that he can sit in the highchair while I take a shower. I went to church yesterday and had a really good time. The boys played in Sunday school and I was able to get some spiritual time for myself. I was a little outside of my comfort zone because it's a large crowd but I attend with my mother-in-law so that helps.
* I am trying to dress up more and be stylish. Since I work from home, my go-to outfit is jeans and a t-shirt. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but my self esteem and state of mind hasn't been very good. I want to feel better about myself and less boring. I have been slowly picking up items of clothing that are less "mom" and more stylish. Yesterday I purchased a pair of skinny jeans. I am 34 years old and what you would consider plus sized. It's okay if you want to clutch your pearls. I sent a picture of myself wearing them to my younger sister and she approved. I am wearing them today with my tall boots and you know what? I feel good about myself. I am way way way way WAY outside of my comfort zone. I am really putting myself out there right now by posting a picture. Don't like them? That's fine with me!
No makeup in all my glory.
I am thinking I might need a slightly bigger size. Fat girl wearing skinny jeans!
* I am starting to accept invitations to more events, parties, etc. This one is huge for me. I am very much an introvert and am shy in groups. I have often turned down invites to things because I am socially awkward and not very cool. I always feel like my friends are cooler than me and I don't fit in. But, if people are inviting me places, it's because they WANT ME THERE. I need to realize this. I have already accepted an invite to a party for this Friday. I also am attending my cousin's daughter's birthday party on Saturday. I am nervous because it's going to be a group of people much cooler than me. Maybe I will wear my skinny jeans, ha!
* I signed up to volunteer at Jack's preschool. You can volunteer as much or as little time as you want to and you can pretty much choose what you want to do. There are opportunities like prepping Scholastic book orders, researching a parent night activity, helping with fundraising, decorating a bulletin board or cleaning toys. I haven't decided what I want to do yet. It all depends on what is available in the evenings.
* The last thing that I have started doing is planning the boys' birthday parties. What is most shocking about this? I am breaking my rule that I posted about just days ago: I am using Pinterest. I figure that I can search one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed. I am planning the parties in advance so I have time to make some easy crafts if I so choose.
I don't want to become so time stressed that I don't have time to do things that I love. If at any point I become too overbooked, I will simply scale down the activities. I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can, but I also need to have some "me" balance. Knitting class once a week for two hours, church on Sunday and one other activity during an evening, such as a dinner out or volunteer time with the school will make me a better person and a better mom.
I also need to remember that even though I am a working mom, I work from home so I see my kids a lot during the day. I come out of the office often and check in on the boys. I help with breakfast, lunches, I do the preschool drop off and pickups, and I give out many hugs and kisses.
Hopefully these steps will make me feel better about myself, more well-rounded and less........BORING!