Thursday, September 5, 2013

Something's Gotta Give

Something's Gotta Give.  Wasn't that a movie?  A pretty good one if I remember.  Those words are exactly how I am feeling lately.  I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.  I need a break.  A break from the world.

This probably sounds so selfish considering there are people out there that work harder, do more, have more kids, etc.  But I am tired.

I have been toying with the idea of getting away for a weekend with just ME but that probably won't be happening.  With the holidays coming up and budget, the most I can probably swing is a sleepover at Nana's for the boys.

As you probably know, I work from home.  This is an ideal situation for me and I chose it by taking this job, however, I am literally with my children and husband 24 hours a day.  I work in an office, yes, but it's a small house we live in. I can hear what is going on.  I hear the crying, the playing and occasionally, a kid will make their way into our office (bedroom) and ask me for something.

After I log off from work after a 9 or 10 hour day, I cook dinner.  Then I do dishes, get the kids ready for bed and tidy up the house.

Jason is a stay-at-home dad but he doesn't do any housework.  That is the main reason we hired a house cleaner once a month.  Our house cleaner does the deep clean that I just don't have time to do.  I pick up the slack and do all the laundry, dishes, wiping down of countertops, vaccuuming, etc. etc. etc.  I do all the grocery shopping, bill paying, errand running, school drop offs, pick ups, etc.

There is a solution to the paragraph above.  Ask Jason to do more.  This is a conversation that we have had.  He offers to do more.  I need to take him up on it.  I just need to ask but I am a martyr.

Besides housework, we have free-time issues.  I rarely go out with friends.  RARELY.  I do run errands and get out of the house and have some "me" time on occasion, but it's almost always when the kids are napping.  And it's only on the weekends.  I need to make more of an effort to get out for me and with friends.  I have been doing this recently.  On Monday, I went out with my sister for a girl's day.  I went walking with my friend last night after the boys went to bed.  I am considering taking a knitting class.  My cousin and I are planning on signing up for an exercise class of some sort.

I need a break.  I want one day to sleep in, wake up on my own timeframe and drink my coffee and watch Food Network for a little while.  I need a break from 6:30am wakeups, Disney Jr. and making a million meals.

Sorry that this post is so whiny.  But it's how I have been feeling lately.  Again, I know some people never get a break from their kids or get to sleep in, but I am stretched too thin for my own sanity.

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