Something's Gotta Give. Wasn't that a movie? A pretty good one if I remember. Those words are exactly how I am feeling lately. I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I need a break. A break from the world.
This probably sounds so selfish considering there are people out there that work harder, do more, have more kids, etc. But I am tired.
I have been toying with the idea of getting away for a weekend with just ME but that probably won't be happening. With the holidays coming up and budget, the most I can probably swing is a sleepover at Nana's for the boys.
As you probably know, I work from home. This is an ideal situation for me and I chose it by taking this job, however, I am literally with my children and husband 24 hours a day. I work in an office, yes, but it's a small house we live in. I can hear what is going on. I hear the crying, the playing and occasionally, a kid will make their way into our office (bedroom) and ask me for something.
After I log off from work after a 9 or 10 hour day, I cook dinner. Then I do dishes, get the kids ready for bed and tidy up the house.
Jason is a stay-at-home dad but he doesn't do any housework. That is the main reason we hired a house cleaner once a month. Our house cleaner does the deep clean that I just don't have time to do. I pick up the slack and do all the laundry, dishes, wiping down of countertops, vaccuuming, etc. etc. etc. I do all the grocery shopping, bill paying, errand running, school drop offs, pick ups, etc.
There is a solution to the paragraph above. Ask Jason to do more. This is a conversation that we have had. He offers to do more. I need to take him up on it. I just need to ask but I am a martyr.
Besides housework, we have free-time issues. I rarely go out with friends. RARELY. I do run errands and get out of the house and have some "me" time on occasion, but it's almost always when the kids are napping. And it's only on the weekends. I need to make more of an effort to get out for me and with friends. I have been doing this recently. On Monday, I went out with my sister for a girl's day. I went walking with my friend last night after the boys went to bed. I am considering taking a knitting class. My cousin and I are planning on signing up for an exercise class of some sort.
I need a break. I want one day to sleep in, wake up on my own timeframe and drink my coffee and watch Food Network for a little while. I need a break from 6:30am wakeups, Disney Jr. and making a million meals.
Sorry that this post is so whiny. But it's how I have been feeling lately. Again, I know some people never get a break from their kids or get to sleep in, but I am stretched too thin for my own sanity.