I am depressed. Let's just get that out there. Yes, I have a beautiful, healthy baby, but I am sad. I have fought this for six months and now it's time I do something about it.
Tomorrow I go see my doctor. I don't know if this is post partum depression or just a really bad funk.
It doesn't help that I am tired, virtually a single parent (my husband works swing and I hardly see him), try and maintain a household all by myself and have a very cranky baby with reflux who doesn't sleep.
I know, cry me a river right? Quit your whining? Is that what you want to say? It could be worse, suck it up Rachel. People would kill to be in your shoes Rachel. I know all this, but it still doesn't mean that I AM DEPRESSED.
My new goal is to try and enjoy the little things. When Jack laughs hysterically at something stupid I do. Or when he sleeps for 2 hours straight. Or when I get the first brownie out of the pan straight from the oven. Okay that last one isn't baby related, but it is still damn important!
I want to enjoy my baby. I feel like I have missed a lot of time with him because of the way I am feeling. I don't really talk about my feelings to anyone because, well, let's face it, being depressed is pretty depressing. No one wants to hear the woe is me story. I was told by someone (who shall remain nameless) that I should pray. I don't think praying is going to help solve all my problems but TYVM.
There you have it.