I am sure I will get all kinds of negative comments about this post, but oh well. It's how I feel and I can't change that.
I was chubby before I got pregnant. Not fat, but certainly I could have lost another 10 pounds or so. I have always thought "When I get pregnant, I will listen to my doctor and gain only the recommended amount". For me, that amount was 15-20 pounds because I was already a bit "fluffy". Easier said then done.
I am trying very hard to eat right and get enough nutrition for the baby. I track my calories on Baby Fit to make sure I don't overeat. I tend to get between 1900-2100 calories every day, which for me, is very high. Before getting pregnant, I was doing Weight Watchers and I would be lucky to make 1400 calories a day.
I get enough fruit, veggies, meat, dairy, etc. But why am I gaining weight so fast? My biggest fear is that I will go into the doctor on the 25th and he says to me "Packing on the pounds are ya?". This is my fault. I shouldn't even be stepping on the scale. Right there is the error that I make.
So how much have I gained? Well, I think it's 8 pounds. I am 18.5 weeks pregnant. I don't know if this is normal or not. However, it's 8 pounds. That is almost half of what my doctor wants me to gain total. I still have almost 22 weeks left to go. I'm in a pickle.
I am having issues with my body. I still don't look pregnant. I just look fat. People can't tell I am pregnant, however, I have gotten comments about my weight. "Oh, have you gained weight?" when I see someone I haven't seen in a while. These comments DO NOT help. My old clothes don't fit, with the exception of the fat pants I managed to retire over a year ago. Those still fit me. My shirts mostly do too. All 8 pounds of this weight is in my belly. I look like I am carrying around a keg.
I want to look pregnant, and feel good about myself, but I don't. Instead, I feel fat, gross and well....Gross. Not good. I should be feeling happy and joyful about this baby. I am happy about the baby, but can I please look pregnant already? I am tired of the stares from strangers and people at work.
Ugh, identity crisis. Like I didn't have a bad enough body image before.