Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Annoying Advice

We all get it right? That advice that makes you roll your eyes. The advice that you take politely but immediately dismiss. When I get annoying advice, it makes me mad. Especially when that advice eludes to the idea I might be doing something wrong as a mother.

"Is Jack sleeping through the night?" When I say no, I get all kinds of advice about starting him on formula or putting cereal in his bottle.

"Do you have him on a schedule?" Again, no. People seemed shocked or tell me that I better put him on one because he won't be happy, reach his milestones, etc. All kinds of bullshit (sorry).

It bothers me that people question my parenting style when I explain that Jack doesn't sleep through the night or isn't on a schedule. These are the two things I get asked most and they very much irk me. My child has reflux and doesn't eat very much at a sitting. This makes it not only hard for him to sleep, but makes it even harder for him to be on a schedule. He has a loose schedule and he has the same bed and wake time every day. Apparently that isn't enough for some Judgey McJudgersons out there.

Putting cereal in his bottle, giving him solids, forcing him onto a schedule, letting him cry it out when he wakes in the middle of the night, giving him formula......None of this are things I want for my child and people have a hard time understanding this.

These suggestions make me feel like I am being judged or my parenting style is being questioned. I am sure I get the side-eye from some of my coworkers and family members but you know what? My baby is happy and healthy. That is all that matters. None of the crap advice should.

I am still bothered by it though.

Does this child look like he's struggling or miserable?

I think not. I want to tell my coworkers to shove it. I want to be able to stand up to the critics and tell them that what I am doing as a mom is working for not only my child, but for my husband and I. I am not in a hurry to get him to do things that he's not ready for.

And if I hear any more comparisons to other children I am going to scream. "Oh my son had bad gas. Maybe that is what Jack has?". "Oh as soon as I put John on formula, he slept through the night. Maybe you should try that".

Le sigh. I know people are probably trying to be helpful, but this annoying and unwanted advice is going to make me go batshit crazy.


  1. I feel ya. I always knew parenting is something everyone had an opinion about... but you never realize how willing people are to dispense advice until you have a baby.

    Do what works for you. We are on a schedule. Wanna know what it is? HIS SCHEDULE. :) Not that we bend over backward every second for him... but 98% of the time we let him sleep when he wants, eat when he's hungry, and just basically watch for signs of what he wants/needs.

    Hang in there... BTW... seriously we need to get these 2 together!!

  2. I am not looking forward to comments like these when our little one arrives...

  3. I just think whatever works for you and your family, then be it.
    My brother/wife with their kids have no schedule. My SIL/husband with their kids have such a strict schedule. I guess I don't really care what other people do, as long as noone is harmed, I don't care. I have no idea what I'm going to be like when I have kids and I KNOW I don't want the advice or the judging.