Ever since Cal was born I have had the overwhelming urge that I want one more baby. It seems funny to me that he is still so little and yet I yearn for another baby. Maybe it's because I know he is likely our last. Unless I get a huge promotion and our housing situation changes, it's extremely unlikely we will have more children.
How can I NOT want another baby? Cal is the sweetest, happiest baby that I have ever been around. He smiles all the time and his general disposition is just so calm. It makes me want to birth and raise a hundred more just like them.
It doesn't help that my ability to have any more children right now is impossible. 8 weeks after Cal was born I had an IUD placed. I needed to be on some sort of birth control otherwise the possibility of a suprise baby was real. After all, Cal was a surprise.
I decided on an IUD because hormonal pills make me crazy. I am still pumping so I can't have anything hormone filled because it can affect my milk supply. The family planning method is not the smartest idea in the world because that is what brought us Cal. I thought I understood when I ovulated and the timing of getting pregnant but apparently I am not that savvy. The only option left other than having my tubes tied was an IUD.
I had my Mirena put in a couple of weeks ago and so far I am happy. I had very little pain during the procedure. I did have some bleeding/spotting for the next couple of days afterwards but nothing that a pad couldn't control.
With a Mirena, you are likely not to have a period, or if you do, it's probably going to be very light. Since I am still exclusively pumping, I haven't had a period yet anyways.
Now, this sounds like an ideal situation right? Except I freak out when I don't have a period. I assume that I am pregnant. Which is completely stupid. I know it's next to impossible but I am used to schedules, consistency and patterns. I am going to have to train my mind that not having a period every month is normal.
Back to my original thought for a minute. Babies. Jason and I have already talked about the possibility of a third child. It's a slight possibility but I am holding out a glimmer of hope that it will become real one day. Maybe in two years we can revisit the idea. Maybe in two years Jack will be in some sort of preschool and Cal will be a less active toddler. Maybe in two years we will be in a bigger house. Maybe in two years I have a different job that allows us the finances to have a third baby. Maybe in two years I will have two boys that actually SLEEP so a third baby isn't such a crazy, sleep deprived idea.
In the meantime, I will enjoy the boys that I have. I will enjoy Cal being the sweetest baby ever. And I will enjoy the idea of unprotected sex! Haha, like that is going to happen very often in this crazy household.