Bodily Functions

Two stories for you.

Last Sunday, I gave Jack his bath as normal. I usually don't put him down naked after bath because, well, I know better. Cold air + Naked baby = Dirty carpet. He wanted down and I thought "What the heck?". Big mistake. I put him down and said "Come on Jack, let's get our jammies on". He wasn't following, so I turned around to see where he was. He was peeing on the carpet. So what do I do? Well, what any sane mother would do. Went for the camera. I have a picture as proof, but since people are on the interwebs are creepy, I won't be posting it. Lesson learned.

Last night, Jack had his bath (see a pattern here?) and as I was washing my face, I hear him farting in the tub. That in itself is pretty funny. I didn't think much of it since he does it all the time. Just as I was kneeling down to soap him up, I hear him toot a slightly different toot and up floats a turd. Ack! In the tub! I never have moved so fast in my life. I yanked him out of the tub so damn fast. Now, I was getting him ready for bed (quickest.bath.ever) I was thinking to myself "How in the world am I going to get a turd out of the tub?". I don't have any paper cups, I sure as hell wasn't going to pick it up with my bare hands, and I didn't think a paper towel would really do the job. I rummaged through my cupboards and found a plastic Christmas container. Good enough! Before I scooped the poo out of the tub I took a picture for evidence. Wanna see?

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Haha! I bet you scrolled down didn't you? I didn't really take a picture you weirdos. Pee on the floor is one thing but poop in the tub is another.

I've reached a Mommy Milestons. Two bodily function accidents in one week! It only took him 13 months, but I officially have a tub-pooer.

For the record, my husband was conveniently not home for either event. Lucky me got to clean up both times. Golly gee.