Monday, April 25, 2011

Discouraged and Depressed

I haven't blogged in a while because to be honest, I have been depressed. To the point that I am being a hermit and not wanting to be social or chatty at all. I am avoiding friends, some family and quite frankly, have been incredibly crabby. I am almost positive my coworkers are probably getting the brunt of my grumpiness.

What changed? Nothing really. It just seems like a lot of things in my life are in chaos right now. My son has another ear infection, my grandmother is very ill and probably isn't going to live much longer, and I am anxious about our upcoming trip back East. Add to that some financial stress and work stress and it's about all I can take. I am not sure what my breaking point is, but right now, it feels close.

Maybe it's time for an increase in my Celexa. I still see my counselor every week and she's great. She helps me cope with a lot of my issues. I often don't feel like I have anyone to talk to, so she's really my outlet. I can only dump on my husband so much before it becomes detrimental to our marriage. And since our marriage is pretty good right now, I don't want to ruin that.

Jack has ear tubes put in next week and it can't come soon enough. At first I was nervous and scared and now I am actually embarrassed to say that I am looking forward to it. He has literally had back to back ear infections since his birthday and he deserves some relief. I deserve some relief since I get up with him at night when he's in pain and I give him his medication and I make sure he's comforted. I realize that lack of sleep comes with parenting, but it's getting to the point that I can't even function some days.

I am overwhelmed, discouraged and depressed.

Boy, this is such a sunshiney post. I hope I have something good to blog about in the next few days. Anything at this point would be great.

2 comments:

  1. I hope things get better for you soon. I think that with tubes, Jack will be a happier little boy and you probably will get more sleep and start to feel better.

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  2. ((BIG HUGS)) I would talk about upping your dose. When I was on celexa for a while it felt like it stopped working and a small increase made all the difference. Hope you and Jack are feeling better soon!

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