Monday, April 11, 2011

Mega Tantrum

Didn't I previous blog that Jack doesn't seem to have tantrums? Because he had one this weekend. A huge one. Mega. Epic. And of course, it was while we were at church.

I brought Jack to the nursery and not even 15 minutes later I got paged (big shocker). So I brought him upstairs but couldn't keep him in the sanctuary because he was being chatty and loud. So we went to the "cry" room which was curiously occupied by a couple of old ladies. Jack started being fussy, so I brought him next door to a quieter room in the hopes that I could get him down for a nap. Cue mega tantrum. He did NOT want to be held or rocked. I put him down and he started to climb the stairs. I let him for a little while, but since he hasn't mastered the art of coming back down, I picked him up. That pissed him off. He started screaming.

When I say screaming, I mean SCREAMING!!!!! I am surprised that the people in the church didn't hear him. He literally screamed and kicked for 20 minutes. He screamed so much that he made himself hoarse. Having never gone through this before, the only thing I could do was talk softly to him and just rock him and say "It's okay" over and over. Was that the wrong thing to do? He finally calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. While he was falling asleep, he would have his eyes closed and every so often cry. Almost like he needed to make his point known that he was crying and did I get the message? It would have been slightly comical had it not been pathetic.

Parents of toddlers: What do you do when your kid is throwing an epic fit? I couldn't just put him down and walk away. We were in a public place (not like I could do at home) and I didn't want him falling down the flight of stairs that were nearby. Do you just hold them and shush them? Hold them and do nothing?

I felt like a bad mom and I am sure the people who could overhear thought I was the worst mother ever. "Geez, she can't even control her own kid".

At this point, I hate to say it, but I think we are going to have to stop going to church for a while. I have tried numerous times to leave Jack in the nursery, but it doesn't work. My mother-in-law keeps telling me that he will get used to being in there, but every week it's the same story. He cries, they page me, I get him and then miss the entire service. It doesn't really benefit either of us if I am not going to be able to hear the message.

Church falls during Jack's mid-morning nap and there isn't any way I can rearrange that nap. Already thought of that and it's not an option. Him being up in the sanctuary doesn't really work because he's loud and I don't want to disturb others. I don't have options to get him a sitter because my mother-in-law and I go to church together. My only other option is my aunt and she goes to church on Sunday mornings too.

Maybe when he gets a little older and doesn't have that mid-morning nap and possibly not as much separation anxiety can he come to church with me. I hate to lose that worship time, but I have to do what's right for us.


  1. I think maybe I would have tried taking him outside to walk around a bit (if it was nice out of course). If not, that may have been my cue to leave.

    And if church were during Em's nap, you better believe I'd be home instead. God understands and can hear you anywhere. Don't stress out over not attending!

  2. There are two ways I handle a tantrum (and Miles has quite a few). If it has a concrete cause like he is hungry or tired or frustrated because a toy is stuck, I tend to his needs calmly.

    If the tantrum is just emotional overload or he wants something I said no to, I ignore him. At first this was hard for me until I saw that it actually calms him down faster than if I try to soothe him, which seems to piss him off!

    But doing anything during naptime is a recipe for disaster... sounds like you're going to have to skip church until his nap moves. It shouldn't be too long.