Every few months I get annoyed and irritated with my husband. It's always the same issue over and over again: His work schedule and the amount of freedom he has.
The past few nights we (meaning me) have been trying to get Jack back into a normal sleep pattern again. Since we have been home, Jack has actually sleeping and going to sleep pretty well. The occasional night he will wake up and I will try and get him back to sleep but not always.
This is where my vent comes in. My husband works swing shift. I am used to this schedule. However, when my husband goes out with friends two or three nights a week after work, leaving me home alone with a toddler having issues sleeping, he has absolutely NO ROOM to criticize my parenting.
The husband goes out after work often. Which I normally don't have issue with. This week it's really bothering me though. Jack has woken up twice in the past week and hasn't been able to go back to sleep on his own. This means he comes into bed with me. I refuse to listen to him screaming when something is clearly wrong. Last night, he had a completely soaked diaper and soaked jammies. I am not going to just let him cry. I am going to remedy the situation and change him and then bring him to bed with me so we can both get some sleep. Earlier in the night I had no issue getting him back to sleep so it's not like he is waking up and screaming just to get his way.
Jason came home at close to 3:00 and says "So you gave in to his demands huh?". I explained that he had woken up earlier and I got him back to sleep with no problem. The reason he was in bed with me was because he was stressed about being wet and I had to change him. I asked Jason to go check his bed and see if it was wet. Guess what? It was.
I'm sorry but when I am doing 99% of the parenting myself you had better believe that any advice (even from my husband) is going to get my hackles up. He is constantly saying things like:
You can't let him control you
He needs to learn
I know it's hard to hear him cry but.....
Sorry dude. You don't have to listen to him screaming in the middle of the night. You don't have to deal with behavior issues when I bring him home from daycare. You don't have to feed him his meals or bathe him.
While Jason is home on the weekends, he chooses to play his computer games rather than help me. Yes, I could ask for help, but more than half the time, I get a big sigh and an eye roll. That pisses me off. The man has it very very easy. He doesn't have to cook, clean, any house projects, take care of the child (except at night time when he's not out with friends and even then, it's easy), take him to outings, grocery shop or anything. Hell, I pack his lunch for him. He has it easy.
I feel taken for granted a lot of the time. When I try and tell him that he has it easy, he agrees but once in a while it would be darn nice to get a "thank you". And stop telling me what to do. When you start staying home and taking care of the kids full time than you have every right to criticize and judge.
Now, on to my second vent. I wish *I* could go out with my friends. Heck, I wish I could go get my haircut without having to ask my husband to watch Jack. It's annoying and I deserve some time by myself or to have a girl's night. Having a girl's night is hard because I am alone with Jack during the week. I can't ask my in-laws to watch him unless it's a Friday because they get home from work so late. My options are limited and I have to ask them well in advance if they can babysit. If I want Jason to watch Jack, I have to make darn sure he doesn't have any pending plans. He often will make plans and not tell me leaving me high and dry.
I am in desperate need of some time with my friends. I can count on two hands (barely) the number of times I have been out with friends since Jack was born. It's sad. And it's starting to take a toll.
This is a whiny vent and like I said, it happens a couple of times a year. I need a good night's sleep, a tasty meal and perhaps a massage and then I will feel better.