Saturday, July 9, 2011

Dark Place

I know I have so much to be thankful for lately (new job, new baby, good health, etc.) but I am very down. I have been in this dark place for a couple of weeks and I am not seeing an end in sight. I have been taking my Celexa religiously, but something just isn't right. It's probably the lack of counseling. Since I started my new job, I haven't been able to see my counselor Lindsay. I need to go back, I know this, but it's hard to justify being gone from work, a new job, for over an hour every Wednesday.

I have absolutely no motivation. The only thing that I can get in gear about is taking care of Jack. I sometimes do it half-heartedly. Don't worry, he isn't lacking or being neglected in any way. It's the energy level. I just don't have any right now to keep up with such a busy boy. I force myself to take him out on walks, to outings and on much needed errands.

I will be in Denver next week for work and I am not sure if this will give me a good time for reflection, or if it's going to hinder my mood.

I wish I could say what is going on in our house. It's nothing earth shattering, I just don't want to talk about it right now. I will get through it, but it's clear I need more help.

I honestly hope I can bring myself out of this dark place that I am in. It's not healthy for me or the baby that I have growing.

1 comment:

  1. I've been feeling good for a long time now, but this past week or so I'm finding myself feeling like I was when she was a newborn. I was so upset the other day that I started crying.

    Hang in there!