Monday, April 2, 2012

My Kids Are Perfect

Do you ever get the feeling that people think their children can do no wrong?  Or do you hear people talking about their grandchildren and they say "Oh he is soooo perfect"?

This post is not a My Children Are Perfect post.  This is a post of the realities of having non-perfect children because let's face it, nobody is perfect.  Not even sweet little newborns or adorable toddlers.  Especially not adorable toddlers.

Let me start with Cal and his "perfectness".

* Cal has a really gross case of cradle cap.  My little man is still handsome but I am slightly embarrassed by his head.  It's really scaly and he looks like a lizard.

* He usually is good about going back in his Rock N Play after feedings at night but sometimes?  He is a PITA.  Last night was a good example.  I fed him a bottle, burped him and got him back to sleep.  As I placed him in the sleeper, he woke up.  No amount of getting him back to sleep would get him settled.  He ended up in bed with us.  Have you ever slept with a baby on one side and not moved an inch so you wouldn't roll on them?  Yeah, my shoulder hurts this morning.

* Why must my child boycott naps?  He is so hard to get to nap sometimes. 

* He has a built-in food detector.  If you do happen to get him to sleep and want to eat something, forget it.  He can sense you have just sat down with a hot meal and must wake up that very second to fuss.  Or if he's been perfectly content in the bouncy chair and you pour yourself a bowl of cereal, he will decide that you are not allowed to eat.

* As soon as I put Cal in one of my favorite (for him) outfits, he manages to spit up on it.  Almost like he is saying "Haha Mommy, this sleeper is stupid and I will prove it to you". 

Now on to Jack.

* Why does my child not know how to sit still and play with toys?  Oh no, he throws toys.  That is his idea of "playing".  He manages to clear entire shelves or baskets of toys in mere seconds.  That is why we call him Mr. Destructo.

* The cats are fun play things.  So much so that he will chase them around the house, sit on them, lock them in his play kitchen, roll on them, trick them into entering his room and then shutting the door.  Our poor cats.  They immediately run when they see Jack.

* Do you not like any meat that isn't processed?  Hot dogs cannot be your meat staple for the rest of your life.  I would really like it if you ate something meat related.  Even a friggin' chicken nugget would be fine.  Ham and hot dogs aren't very healthy dude.

* One word:  Tantrums.  Good Lord can you scream.  You scream if we don't put "Buzz" in the DVD player fast enough.  You scream if you can't go to Nana's house upon request.  You scream if we tell you "no" for any reason whatsoever.  And it's not just screaming.  It's ear piercing screeching.  I wish I had earplugs sometimes. 

* Jack still isn't a great sleeper but he has come a long way.  Although I really do wish he would sleep later than 6am some days.  On the weekends I would love to sleep in a bit.  But alas, I am a mom and sleeping is generally not allowed.

Now that you have read about my "perfect" children, you realize that I am just being realistic.  No child is perfect.  Even if you love your kids, you have to be able to admit that they are not perfect.  They have flaws.  They act out once in a while.  They don't listen to you when you tell them to "get that spoon out of your ear please". 

I love my boys obviously.  They are sweet and cute and lovable.  But they aren't perfect.

1 comment:

  1. Almost like he is saying "Haha Mommy, this sleeper is stupid and I will prove it to you".
    Ha! Love that quote! I know the feeling! I'll have to do a post like this!