Thursday, January 13, 2011

Why I Quit The Bump

Besides time of course! I have had a couple of people ask me why I no longer post on The Bump or The Nest. I have lots of reason, besides having very little time (or desire).

It really started when my PPD got out of control. I would post on TB (The Bump) and get depressed. I have an issue with comparing to begin with, but it really got worse. I would try and compare Jack to the other babies and he would often times come up short. Not short in a bad way, because we all know that we moms love to embellish, but short in a way that made me uncomfortable.

I found my parenting styles and my baby more and more isolating. It was many of the same issues as I saw in real life: He had reflux, didn't eat on a normal schedule, didn't sleep well, didn't nap well, didn't EVER sleep through the night.

When you are constantly faced with posts about "She STTN at 4 weeks!", or "I love nursing", or "My baby smiles all the time", this gets very hard. I felt like Jack was not a happy baby (that was partially reflux related and partially my fault because of my depression) and something most certainly must be wrong with him.

I needed to stop comparing, and so the easiest way to do this was quit TB/TN. And guess what? I don't miss it. I don't know any of these women in real life, with the exception of a limited group of wonderful ladies that I still correspond with. If I want to talk to them, I have other means than TB/TN.

I have stopped comparing probably 80% of the time. My life is much more calm and I know my baby is happy, healthy, and growing just fine. His routine is just that: HIS routine, and no one else's. My parenting style is MY parenting style and I am happy with it.

The Bump can be a very catty place. God forbid you ask a stupid question, or post on the wrong board, and I know I have done both. Lord help you if you offend someone by speaking the truth or disagreeing with someone.

I am not trying to say that it's an entirely bad place. It's not. It's just not right for me anymore. I have other avenues of chatting or venting.

That is why I quit The Bump. My own insecurities and issues.

Will I go back? Probably not. I spent many years on there, starting with The Knot, and I can now step away and close that chapter in my life.

2 comments:

  1. I know what you mean- I hardly post anymore at all.

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  2. I have to avoid the boards for babies Kayleigh's age because all they are is catty. I only go on the Oregon board and now the June 2011 board. I can't stand the drama of all the other boards so I know how that feels.

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