Wishy Washy

That's me! Of course, this is yet another post about breastfeeding. Clearly, the horse isn't dead yet.

Late last week I decided that I was going to exclusively pump and give Jack breastmilk bottles. I got to the end of my rope and with all the issues we have had, I thought it was for the best. Yeah, I changed my mind. See what I mean about wishy washy?

On Friday, I am going back to the lactation clinic. I am bound and determined to make breastfeeding work. Jack sucks so much air while he eats, which makes feeding difficult. He eats anywhere from every hour to hour and a half. But the thing is, he only eats for about 5 minutes. Usually, it is closer to three. He gets so incredibly gassy that he thinks he's full. I talked to his pediatrician about the gassiness issue yesterday and she thinks it could be an issue with his feeding (DUH!).

Maybe it's just a bad latch? Maybe it's the position I am holding him? At any rate, I am going to conquer this mountain. I want breastfeeding to work. For many reasons, some of them selfish. I want that closeness that you get while nursing. It's convenient, cheap, and let's face it, I can eat whatever I want (within reason). Nursing burns so many calories and for someone that LOVES to eat, this is important. Plus, I am not a failure and I will be damned if I fail at this. It's almost like a competition at this point. Me versus breastfeeding. I WILL WIN!

I successfully nursed Jack twice yesterday and once today. Granted, it was only for a few minutes each time, but I still did it. I am still dealing with supply issues, but if I am only nursing for a couple of minutes, this shouldn't be a huge deal. I have a prescription for Domperidone, so hopefully that helps my supply.

Friday, here I come! This will work. It has to. But if for some reason it doesn't, I will not die. I can always pump. And if pumping doesn't work, I will go the formula route. I am okay with that. Really, I am. I have been so close to giving up numerous times that I have gotten used to the idea.

If you are the praying type, I could use all the prayers you have got. Thank you!