Friday, August 5, 2011

Uhhh Yes It Was a Surprise

I am not sure when it became okay to ask someone if their pregnancy was planned or not, but I got asked this yesterday. I was so caught off-guard that I didn't know what to say other than the truth.

Scene: I was at the grocery store briefly after work to buy some milk and cereal.

Cashier: How are you? How is that cute little boy you have?
Me: He's doing good. He is going to be a big brother actually.
Cashier: Oh really? How old is he again?
Me: 18 months. He will be almost 2 when this baby comes.
Cashier: Wow, was this a planned baby? That seems like a short time period between babies.
Me: Uhhh, no it wasn't planned, but we are more than happy.

Yikes! How uncomfortable. I am an honest person so when asked, I tell people. But I didn't think it was really okay for an almost stranger to ask.

While I have said before that this baby was a surprise, that doesn't mean he/she isn't very much wanted. When I found out I was pregnant, I was in a state of shock for at least a day. Not because I didn't want the baby, but because it took 18 months to get pregnant with Jack. We did the whole planned timing thing and with this one, it honestly took one time. I don't mean that to be hurtful for anyone who has difficulties conceiving, I really don't. Another thing that I was in shock about was that our house is so small and I didn't know how we could handle another baby, or how we could afford another baby in daycare.

After the initial shock wore off (with huge help from my husband who was also shocked, but very happy), I became excited. I get to experience the baby stage again! This time around, I was determined to enjoy pregnancy and try and be more relaxed when the baby came.

It's amazing how my mentality changed literally overnight. One day I was in shock and the next I was already in love with my baby and wanted desperately for him/her to be healthy. So even though this baby was not planned, we definitely WANT this child.

Back to the comments from the grocery store cashier. I didn't think it was unusual for babies to be born approximately two years apart. My brother and I are two years apart. I have a friend who has two babies under one. My mother-in-law is one of 7 siblings, 5 of them born within 5 years of each other (5 under 5, wow). And, am I okay to be slightly offended that I was asked if my pregnancy was planned? Asking this question is almost like asking how much someone weighs, or if they breastfeed, both of which are uncomfortable questions to be faced with.

I suppose the point of this post is that yes, my child was a surprise, but nonetheless, we are excited and can't wait to meet our new little one. Secondly, don't ask a person if their pregnancy was planned unless you are good friends, and even then, it's awkward.


  1. That is really inappropriate I think. It's almost as if she's asking if you wanted this baby or not. Not a question anyone should ask, but especially not a cashier at the grocery store! Eek. Also, I HATE when people ask if I'm breastfeeding! If it's a friend, okay fine..if you're a sales girl at the store (happened to me Monday) NOT OKAY! After I had Kayleigh I went to visit my old job & my team had a meeting to get together and meet her and one of the girls asked if I was breastfeeding. There were 15+ people, including men, sitting there staring at me. Just wrong. Anyway...I feel ya and I wish people weren't so dumb.

  2. Ummm something else completely inappropriate, my captcha word to submit my comment was just "orgy night" OH MY.

  3. You are completely in the right to feel slightly offended! When I posted about this pregnancy on FB I put up a 12 week u/s photo with the caption "Here we go again! Ella will be a big sister around February 8, 2012" and a girl that I don't know all that well and haven't spoken to in a year or so writes "Uh-oh, was this at all planned? Congratulations anyway!"
    Um, seriously! What is wrong with people. This baby is 100% planned because I wanted my kids right around 2 years apart. Some people need a permanant sensor.